The Bible says, If we train up our children in the way they should go, they will not depart from it when they are older.
{Proverbs 22:6}
So, what does this look like? “Train up a child”
Well, I think it means I am Intentional in my parenting. That I am always on the look out for those teachable moments. That I do my part to teach my children the value of hard work, daily duties and prayerful hearts. That I am to speak and pray those blessings over my children just as the Fathers in the Bible spoke blessings over theirs, blessings that came to fruitation.
One area I have been struggling with lately, is praying for their future spouse. I have diligently been doing this since each child is born, diligently like EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Purity is a big, big deal to me, something I held dear to my heart in my growing up years. Something I knew I wanted for my children. Something I wish Dale would’ve chosen differently on. We represent both sides, saving and not saving. Our kids will have the opportunity to hear of the long term heartache that comes from sex outside of marriage.
My prayers of 9 years have been this:
First, for my child to be a Godly man or Proverbs 31 wife, then for them to save themselves for marriage, by hanging on to their purity for the treasure it is. To save all the pieces of their heart for their ONE true love. To allow the Lord to bring them that person when the time is right, when they are both ready. To choose to court instead of date. To allow the Lord to script them a beautiful love story.
In the past 2 years of Surviving Infidelity, I have learned purity will not save my children from heartache. It won’t. It’s not a guarantee. The reward doesn’t necessarily look like I thought it would. And as I learn more and more about the hold porn has on our men, and our teen and preteen boys, I have lost heart. So instead of praying about it, I was mourning the odds of my children finding pure spouses. If 1 out of 3 teens look and 4 out of 5 men in your church pew look, then its a lost cause. Right?
Then the Lord reminded me of John 14:14 “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”
This doesn’t mean He is a genie in a bottle, grant me my 3 wishes! It means that when I pray something I KNOW He backs with scripture, that I need to believe it will happen, and it will.
“I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.”
Mark 11:23
I am asking the Lord to, somewhere out in the world, raise up a little boy, or a little girl, ready to marry my children. Being raised in a home that speaks blessings, and prays diligently for their children’s purity, for my children as their children’s future spouses. A family that is aware of satan lurking on the internet, billboards and scantly clad women/men on tv. I am asking they be raised in a family that is real about this trap of porn, that talks regularly about the importance of pure eyes in the world we live in today.
Tylan is in Kindergarten. He just turned 6, do you know that he prays for his wife already? Did you know that he asks me what he should do if his friends show him pictures that are bad? You may think that is too young, but I am glad. It will be hard wired in him to look away, leave the room, call me for a ride. It doesn’t mean he won’t fall or fail at times, but it means that even from a young age, those thoughts of purity are taking root.
Did you know, that Avery asks me if that Barbie’s outfit is “inapwopiate” in the store toy aisle because she is wearing a skimpy mini skirt and tummy showing halter top? Instead of telling her not to worry about it, we talk about modesty, and covering tummies and breasts. Saving our bodies for our husband. I don’t think she is too young to know the truth about this.
Parents, your children are listening to you, your prayers at bedtime need to MEAN something. Not just thank you for this day, please help Johnny to have good dreams and no bad dreams. Amen.
No, think of it as seed planting, carefully tended each night, until you will watch it sprout and grow. Someday, your child will parrot those same prayers for themselves, then walk it out in their lives.
Do not lose heart, for I have overcome the world. {from John 16:33}
Praise you Jesus,
~T
Need help knowing how to pray over your kids?
I suggest this book: While They Are Sleeping: 12 Character Traits to Pray for the Children You Love
I have used this for almost 10 years and my copy is falling to pieces, but it covers areas from purity to leadership, kindness to humility, courage & contentment. Each topic includes several days worth of prayers to read out loud and 2 verses to back it. You could read it with your spouse as part of your devotions, or include it in your child’s bedtime routine, so they hear you pray over them, these qualities.
