An “Even If” FAITH

An even if faith

Hebrews 11:1

  “What is faith?  It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen.  It is the evidence of things we cannot see yet.” 

  I cannot count how many emails and comments I get from men and women who have a wayward spouse that is not at all remorseful, or ready to change.  I honestly don’t know what to say when they write back at times. 

  If you have read our story, you know that thankfully, I had a spouse who:

A) confessed, instead of was caught in the indiscretion
B) was totally forthcoming with the facts of the incident, after said confession
C) was so sorry and ready to do whatever it took to reconcile our relationship

  I have been praying and asking God what to tell these broken people. My heart aches as I write to them, because I know that stab of pain all too well.  I usually just sit here praying and wishing I could fix it for them, but I can’t. All I can do, is point them to Jesus and to God’s Word. 

  I send them go read the blog post “The Prodigal Spouse, Because God Is Bigger Than Your Divorce Papers” because I believe that God is still in the Restoration business.  I’ve walked that treacherous road, and lived to tell about it.  You better believe it seemed easier to just walk away from it all, hoping one day I could learn to love again.

  I believe with time, even wayward spouses who seem totally uninterested, can be brought back to Him and then, to you, in total restoration of that original Marriage Covenant! I believe mountains still move at the name of Jesus Christ our Lord.

  In a world that pushes Divorce and what we “deserve,” it’s hard to change that mindset to dying to self, to lay down the desire to get revenge, or move on, and just accept your circumstances for the moment, never ceasing to ask God to work a miracle, but being satisfied in the meantime.

 But what if the wayward spouse isn’t interested in coming back?

Let’s look at the story of 3 men who had faith in the face of adversity.

  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, had an “Even If” faith.  We can read their story in Daniel 3.   

  It all begins with a declaration that all must worship the giant image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, when the music started playing….Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the one true God, refuse.  They know no matter what their society is telling them to do to keep the peace, that they should NOT bow to worship this idol.

13 Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, 14 and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15 Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”

16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But EVEN IF he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

  Now, we know this story has a happy ending, with 3 very alive men walking around in a furnace 7 times hotter than normal, with a “mysterious” 4th figure in there.  Let’s think about this is real terms….these men had NO IDEA if God was going to spare their lives.  They literally were about to be burned to death in a furnace so hot, that it killed the guards standing outside of it. 

  But God is in the miracle business.  He allows these circumstances that seem IMPOSSIBLE, so you can remember with Him? ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

  Where you end, HE begins.

  I want to encourage you today, to keep waiting and watching for your wayward spouse to come home.  To not bow to the World and it’s demands for revenge, and a better life after divorce. 

  Remain faithful as you wait for your love to come back to you.  Seek God with your whole heart, and let Him fulfill you in the meantime.  He is the lover of your soul, and wants to minister to you, to teach you, during this time of separation and of sorrow.  Don’t stop believing and asking for that miracle, do not stop asking for Him to break the heart of your spouse and make it new.  Even if you have to walk away for months, or years in the meantime. Even if, in the end, you walk away entirely.

  Don’t stop praying, that one day, your spouse will see what he had with you, find Jesus, and come back changed. Be Jesus when you speak to them during your time of separation, using the verbage that comes from your heart, always planting seeds of hope and a future: “Someday, when we are back together again, I want to…”
Send a text now and then, “You are on my heart today, missing you and praying for you always.”

You CAN be Jesus to your wayward spouse, we are to be Jesus to the spouse who is lost, because we just might be the only Jesus they see.

1 Peter 3:1-2
“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

1 Corinthians 7:10-11
“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife…..”  

Our Father’s heart hurts to see His children feel the consequences of divorce.

However, the Word also says in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16:

  “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”

  I know these verses sound opposing, but we should view this, per unique situation, as a matter of prayer.  Of what God is calling YOU to do, which will be different than others.

  In the end, you are not responsible for the actions of your husband or wife, who are living in sin.  They answer to God for that, not you.  At the end of your life here on Earth, you will give an account of what you did for Christ, and be blessed for your faithfulness in the midst of sorrow, in your diligent prayers for redemption.

 And you know what?

  EVEN IF restoration doesn’t happen for you,

  EVEN IF that spouse keeps hardening his heart, or plugging her ears, to the Lord’s nudges for redemption, reconciliation and restoration for the rest of their lives here on Earth,

  EVEN IF the world scoffs at you for not just divorcing the jerk and moving on, you will be blessed for your obedience beyond your wildest dreams and expectations….

                  It’s time we have an “Even If” faith like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did.

Our prayer should be as follows:

  I will obey you, Father, EVEN IF I never get to see the fruits of this harvest of obedience blessings until Kingdom come.

  I will trust you, Lord, EVEN IF all I see is the mess of strings from the back of a beautiful tapestry I know you are weaving with my life.

   Because even if you don’t answer my prayers just the way I had hoped, I know I can rest easy knowing that you have plans for me to bring you glory, and to bring me hope and a wonderful future…

  Thank you, Jesus! Amen.

 ~T

 

 

 

XES: Why Good Girls Tend To Get It Backwards WINNER!

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  I am excited to announce the WINNER of our awesome book giveaway by author and speaker, Joy McMillan of Simply Bloom.   And the winner is…………………… {Via Rafflecopter entries} Amber Schroder!   Amber, Congrats on your win!  You have until … Continue reading

XES: Why Church Girls Tend To Get It Backwards

Xes

   You all I am SOOO excited to share this with you today.  I have been very bold in talking about Sex God’s Way on this blog, and my blogger friend, Joy, over at Simply Bloom has a similar passion for … Continue reading

Fashionista Wanna-be In a SAHM World: Spring Edition

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   Remember this winter, when I shared my Pinterest board called Fashionista Wanna-be In A Stay At Home Mom World?  I told you all my favorite fall and winter looks, cute but comfy, for Stay At Home Momma’s.   You … Continue reading

A Fashionista Wannabe In A Stay At Home Mom World

   Last month, I told you about Stitch Fix and how much fun I am having getting beautiful, high quality pieces delivered to my door!!!!!  {You really should try it, just once!!!}

  However, you also know, that I am a stay at home mom, who works hard to STAY HOME.  

Do you follow me on pinterest?  I have a Pinterest Board called “A Fashionsita Wannabe In A Stay At Home Mom World” and that sums my life up perfectly!

  I adore looking at the latest fashions, putting together outfits, accessorizing, but the truth of the matter is…….  

I literally only wear “real” clothes 2 days a week!

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Family Friday to go see Grandma at her restaurant {followed by an occasional date night with my honey} and Sunday for Church!

  Otherwise?

Comfy clothes ALL THE WAY!

   I have been a stay at home momma for over 10 years. Comfort became important to me from the day I brought my babies home from the hospital. 

I mean, my outfit is only going to get puked and pooped on, right!?

  I got really scruffy over that time, sweatshirts and sweats getting bigger and baggier the more kids I had.  I didn’t go anywhere, so it didn’t matter. 

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  Well, that part of my life has changed a bit.  I now have to pop into school, or get out for errands much more often than I used to, simply due to the age my children are now.  With a 5th grader and 1st grader that must be picked up every day, my days are no longer spent within the walls of my home like they were when they all were babies.

  So about 4 years ago, I decided I was too scruffy, and went shopping……..

And came home with cute church dresses.

  So I went shopping months later…….

And came home with cute tops and jeans.

Oops. 

  I didn’t NEED that kind of stuff, but it was so pretty!  It was hard to find comfy stuff that was cute!

  Finally, after months of picking up bargains here and there, I realized I was getting NO WHERE in the “Home Clothes Department”, so I MADE myself start looking at the cotton comfy items.

  I am not an athletic person, I tried sweats, but they just didn’t trip my trigger.  Then, the clouds parted, the angel choir sang their Hallelujah chorus, and leggings came back in.

Woo-hoo!  NOW we were talking!!!!!

   I found some long t-shirts at Sears and 2 pairs of leggings at JCP.  I wore them over and over and over again that first year.  Adding sweaters in the winter, changing from boots to flip-flops in the summer.  Paxton was still a baby and I could easily nurse him with no fuss.

{EEEEEK! Where does the time go? I want my baby back!!!!}

Home clothes

{sigh} 4 and no more, 4 and no more, 4 and no more……

Anyhow, it was perfect! I felt cute, but was still super comfy!

  The next season, I added to my wardrobe:

  I hit Khols’ sales racks, and found a few longer sweatshirt-material tunic tops that went with 2 pairs of leggings.  I also got some comfy slipper-esque boots in both black and grey.  (10 pound babies did a number on my arches, so I have to wear shoes or slippers at all times!)

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  The next season, I found some cardis on sale at Target, some seriously marked down brown boots from our Marketplace grocery store, and a scarf to complete one of the outfits.  

All of this will go with the same basic leggings, & colorful v-neck undershirts I had from before:

PicMonkey Collage

  This season, I added a bit more flair to the rotation, when my favorite bargain place to shop, Zulilly, had a big printed legging sale:

fashionista blog

My SAHM fall, winter and spring wardrobe are now complete!

  I love that I can ABC all the different pieces, and make a bunch of different looks! 

  As we transition to Spring then Summer, I switch to long cotton skirts, and v-neck tees in a variety of colors with the same cardis until it gets too warm for that extra layer.  I do the same with shoes, switching from boots to moccasins then flip-flops as the temperature rises……Still comfy but cute!

    In order to be classified as “Home Clothes”, clothing items must:

A) Be comfy

B) Be comfy and on the clearance rack

and

C) Have I mentioned Be Comfy?  Yes?
     Ok, then CUTE enough to run into the school, go to Bible Study Wednesday night, or stop at the store any time, without having to change clothes first!

   I want to be free to lay on the floor with my kids, curl up with a book during nap time, get snot wiped on my shoulder, without any harm.  I do NOT like to wear jeans, or anything that would cut or pinch when I moved around cleaning the floor, and nothing that will catch and rip while I am doing chicken chores.

  I also want to be well dressed for my husband.  He is my number 1 human priority and I want him to be proud to have me pop into his office, or get that big ol’ grin on his face when he comes home, because he likes my cheetah leggings and fur boots. 

  Dale is a corn-fed country boy, he doesn’t care about jewelry, makeup, or fancy clothes, but I think he responded differently to me when I put away his giant sweatshirts and my ugly sweats, and got out some cute- but-comfy home clothes that made me look like a woman again. 

  *Note: Dale brought up a good point here.  He says his response didn’t change towards me, but he said my response back did.
Think about it, when I felt like I woman instead of a frumpy mom, I responded like one…..  INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!!

  It’s easy to lose ourselves in the daily grind of home with kids, but if a cute pair of boots and leggings could put a spring in your step tomorrow, I think it’s something worth shopping for!

Hugs, T

Word of the Year 2014: Balance

   I had not ever had a “Word of the Year” before, when the Lord spoke to me RESTORATION in 2013, then followed it up with a million and one “God Moments”. 

Click on the word Restoration above, when I re read it, it gave me tears and chills. 

  Our Father in Heaven is so incredible to speak to us in such tangible ways.  I was asking Him in to Restore what the locusts had eaten at my house and in my marriage in 2012.  I was asking Him to restore my joy, to heal my heart.

He did.

He still is.

I feel my Word of the Year for 2014 is BALANCE.  As the Lord has blessed our home in various areas, we have gotten busy.

And you know what I think about busy:
Burdened
Under
Satan’s
Yoke

So my commitment to 2014 is to filter everything through Christ Jesus and His word, and His desire to be Number ONE in my life.  To stop and PRAY about each commitment before it goes on the calendar.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

My second commitment is to put my husband and his needs next, followed by my precious children.  This means that I will not always be staying up late at night to create a blog post for you all.  This is tough for me to say and do, because I am a pleaser and by nature want to do my best, both feet in.  I have worked hard to have blogs set into January, ready to go, because I worked ahead knowing the Holidays were going to be crazy.

But here is the deal….

No one made me blog 5 days a week for the past 3 1/2 years, but I have done it: driven by my need to give it my all.

I am plain burned out, and I think I need to admit that to you and to me.   So, sometimes if you come and there is no post, just know I am choosing to snuggle up with Dale on the couch, make a t-shirt scarf, play a game with the kids, or just read a book for fun.  

  I also am going to have to find BALANCE in my Photography business as it grows.  I want to limit myself to 2 appts. a week, no appointments wedding weekends, and once again put into place, a waiting list for any appointments beyond my set limit. 

  The pleaser in me wants to fit everyone in anytime they ask, but in putting my life back into its proper order, it will just not be possible. I know God will bless this commitment, even if it means some people chose another photographer.  I am ready to be ok with that.  I release it.

  I also want to be careful not to over do next October-November.  We call this the Christmas Card RUSH.  I was working all morning, all nap time, AND staying up until 2 in the morning trying to get sessions done because there were simply not enough daylight hours.

Paxton got to the point where when I was heading outside he would ask, “You leaving a long time mommy?  You got lots of photo shessions today, Mommy or just one?”

The others would ask, “Mommy, can I watch you edit so I can be with you?”

Yikes.

Time, no matter how much I beg, does NOT multiply.

For years I kept asking God to multiply my “Pie”, my time allotted each and every day.

A slice to hubby, a slice to kids, a slice to cooking, a slice to Facebook, a slice to blog, a slice to edit, a slice to a hurting friend, a slice to quiet time….wait, there are only crumbs left well before my list is done!

My family is my world, and I want to show them that by giving them my biggest, best piece of pie, not the crumbs.  They are starving for me!

I want to seek them out while they are still seeking me back.  Avery goes to school next year, these moments of me being a stay at home mom are passing quickly through the hour-glass, and I can’t help but feel jealous of the time I give other places.

Another area I want to apply Balance to, is natural healing and home treatment for illnesses.  There are so many wonderful natural ways to help the body heal, I want to learn more!!!!  

I have home remedies from the kitchen cupboards and utilize herbal supplements, homeopathics, and Natural Remedies, a lot.

This year in an effort to find balance, I want to replace the money spent on herbal supplements with essential oils.  I am a long time Young Living oil user, but am excited to say I have branched out and tried doTERRA as well.  I have been blown away by the results we are already seeing in our home this week!  We used DigestZEN twice for owie, sick tummies, gone in 25 minutes and Lemon for Paxton’s drippy nose, gone the next day.

Eeek!  I could go on, but I will wait and make another blog for another day as I learn more.  I am excited to study these new essential oils and share with you!!!!

  So, can you commit with me to find BALANCE in 2014?

Anytime you add something, it means another area must give up!
Seems simple enough, but it was news to me!!!!!

finding balance

  Can we commit to limit busyness, so we can have family time around the table each evening, curl up with our spouse on the couch after a long day, read a book, or knit a scarf?

 Commit to communing with God, no longer rushing from thing to thing, wondering where the time goes?

I want to find Balance in 2014.

My battle is not against the people who ask me for my time, but against the devil himself….

1 Peter 5:8 (AMP), it says:

“Be well-balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring (in fierce hunger), seeking someone to seize upon and devour.”

“Do you ever feel your life is out of control—out of balance? As a child of God, we must take time from our busyness to set our priorities in order. Life is a gift and should be lived well.
We all have emergencies where we burn the candle at both ends, but this should not be the norm or soon there will be no candle left to burn.
That candle is the spirit within us that inspires us and propels us into forward motion.

“For thou wilt light my candle: the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness”(Psalm 18:28).

The darkness refers to our confusion, hesitation, frustration, or anything that would put out the light within us, as life has been known to do. Finding balance in life applies to all age groups, as the principles remain the same. It is essential to keep the most important things on the top of the list and to allow proper time for these things so one does not burn out, become frazzled or haggard.”

Source

More about Christian women finding balance here: http://christianity.about.com/od/womensresources/a/KW-Work-life-Balance.htm

May God bless you with a fresh start and a fresh perspective on your “Pie” of time each day in 2014….

Let’s keep each other accountable!

Hugs, T

Sex God’s Way Resource List

Sex Resources

Resources on Waiting

Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy

When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write by Eric and Leslie Ludy

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris

Sex: It’s Worth Waiting For by Greg Speck

Fiction reading for Young Girls About Saving Themselves For Marriage:

Christy Miller Series by Robin Jones Gunn
The Christy Miller Collection, Volume 1
The Christy Miller Collection, Vol. 2
The Christy Miller Collection, Vol. 3
The Christy Miller Collection, Vol. 4

Resources on Intimacy In Marriage

The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire

31 Days to Great Sex An E-book by Sheila Wray Gregoire

Honey, I Don’t Have A Headache Tonight:Help for Women Who Want to Feel More In the Mood
Audio Download by Shelia Wary Gregoire

  Sheila also has a fantastic blog covering Intimacy and Marriage called: To Love, Honor and Vacuum.  Go check it out, you are sure to be blessed!

Hot Chocolate for Couples: Practical Ways to Sweeten Your Love Life by Cindy Siglar Dagnan

Romancing Your Husband: Enjoying a Passionate Life Together
Romancing Your Wife: A Little Effort Can Spice Up Your Marriage

by Debra White Smith

Resources For Rebuilding After Betrayal

A Way of Escape: Freedom from Sexual Strongholds by Neil Anderson

Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time
Every Man’s Marriage: An Every Man’s Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman 
Every Young Man’s Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation
by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker

  A HUGE list of resources can be found here, at the bottom of the Surviving Infidelity Page!

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     Thanks for sticking with us for this series on Sex God’s Way! Did you survive the series without too much blushing? Did God move and speak to your heart about something you can give to Him? 

Get some of these resources and be open to learning and hearing from the Giver of all Great Things!

  It has been a joy and honor to share our hearts with you on this blessing and gift for Married Couples to enjoy!

Oh, and has it been 72 hours yet!?!?!?!?!!   Winking smile

~Angela from My Heart Ministry and Tonya from 4 little Fergusons

  Don’t miss this comment-spurred bonus post:  “Sexual Addiction: Road Block To Intimacy”

Sexual Addiction: Roadblock to Intimacy

  When Tonya asked me to partner with her in writing this series on Sex God’s Way, neither one of us was prepared for the number of responses we would receive from women who were struggling because their husbands were not interested in engaging in sex with them! Much of our experience and study had prepared us for WOMEN not being interested in sex, but MEN?

  Weren’t they supposed to be complete sex-mongers?  

  As we read the comments and private messages from these women, one common theme began to stand out: most (but not all) of these husbands had dealt – or were still dealing – with an addiction to porn and/or masturbation, or some other form of sexual sin.   I find myself grieving for these women who so want to share this intimate expression of love with their husbands but are not afforded the opportunity.

  Oh, how Satan has abused and broken this beautiful gift our Lord created for us! And I have prayed in earnest for these husbands to be freed from their bondage and enabled to love their wives with heart, soul, mind and BODY! And so it is through prayers for wisdom and the leading of the Holy Spirit that I write these thoughts:   Sexual Addiction is a VERY real thing. We don’t want to look at it the same way we do an addiction to heroin or alcohol or gambling, but it is no different! It creates a very physical craving for more and more stimulation, each act requiring more stimulation to achieve the level of pleasure that was achieved the time before. It involves chemical reactions in your mind and body, alters the brain, and it involves a mental and emotional addiction as well.  These men have trained their bodies to need A, B, then C to achieve orgasm.   

  More importantly, men who are addicted to sexual stimulation have been put in Spiritual bondage by our enemy the devil.   When they have been involved with porn or masturbation or other ungodly sexual activity, Satan has chained them through this sin. They MUST face their addiction, calling it what it is and confessing it OUT LOUD, and then they must invite Jesus to break these chains. They need Godly men and women to pray with them, pray for them, pray over them to gain freedom over the long-lasting effects of their sins.

  Sexual addiction is too often hidden away in the secret places of our lives, but it must be brought out into the open and dealt with. My husband has a close friend who was a closet alcoholic for years, and it wasn’t until it was forced out into the open that he was able to face it and deal with it. Sexual addiction works the same way.  Jesus came to se the captives free, ALL CAPTIVES in all areas!  HE is the key to breaking free from this bondage.  

  A person fighting to gain freedom from sexual addiction will also need someone to walk alongside them through the struggle. Think of it like an AA sponsor, only for sex. This person must have total access to the addict’s life; he’s got to be allowed to ask the addict ANYthing and know that he’s going to get an honest answer. It’s kind of like an accountability partner, only it’s that plus SO much more.  

  If men are used to having erotic stimulation such as porn in order to achieve and maintain an erection, they may need to take a “fast” from any and all sexual stimulation. This means TV, ALL internet access, magazines… they will ALL have to be purged from their homes. They will have to be HIGHLY intentional about guarding their eyes in surroundings outside their homes. And then they and their wives will have to commit to NOT initiating anything sexual for a period of time. It won’t be fun for either one, but it is with a purpose.

  As 1 Corinthians 7 instructs, they must use this time for prayer…together…about their sex life! Just like a person who has been living on junk food… the good, healthy stuff just doesn’t taste good…UNTIL you purge your life of the junk. After NOT eating the junk for a good long time, the real stuff tastes really good! And after a man completely purges his life from the junk and re-trains his appetite to enjoy Godly sexuality, his wife should more than arouse and satisfy him.   I know that not every man’s inability to have sex or disinterest in sex ties back to a porn and/or masturbation addiction, but I think that many do.

  Even once a man no longer views the porn, that sin still has a hold on him until he fully surrenders it to the Lord. If it’s not porn, it may be some other sexual issue that is still wrapping guilt around the whole idea of sex. Even someone who was sexually abused is often burdened with guilt over something that was never his fault. Guilt will always stand in the way of true intimacy!  

  Wives, here are some thoughts for you as you support your husband in his pursuit of freedom from sexual bondage:   Imagine your husband in chains and shackles, locked behind the bars of a prison cell. This is what Satan has done to him through his addiction to ungodly sexual stimulation. Let that image compel you to have compassion and mercy on your husband, and let it drive you to your knees in prayer for his release. Your husband is not the enemy; Satan is.   Take the pressure off of him to “perform.”

  If you have tried unsuccessfully to have sex, know that your man probably feels really low about himself. That’s his MANHOOD we’re talking about, you know?! So relax for a while and don’t try to push him until he’s ready. While you’re waiting on him, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! I’ve said it before and I’ll just keep saying it…PRAY about your sex life! Take the responsibility off of yourself and your husband and wait on the Lord to lead you!  

  Affirm your husband and his manliness without attaching it to anything sexual. Let him know you appreciate how he takes care of you and your family. Applaud his achievements at work, his involvement in community service or church activities. Remind him that you love him!  

  Did I mention that you should PRAY for him?  

  Realize that you can’t fight this battle for your husband. HE has to make the choice to pursue freedom through Christ. And understand that it wouldn’t matter how beautiful or sexy you were, you wouldn’t be enough to draw your man away from the addiction. Not because you aren’t gorgeous, but because Satan has convinced him that the sin is better, that the counterfeit pleasure is better than the real thing.

  Satan is SUCH a liar!

  One more thing: PRAY! (I think you’re starting to get my point…)  

  My sisters in Christ, don’t give up on your husband or your pursuit of an intimate relationship with him. NOTHING is beyond the reaches of our God’s mighty power, and I firmly believe He can and will restore intimacy to your marriage.  Be persistent in your prayers and compassionate in your love, and may God’s tender mercy trade your ashes for beauty and your brokenness for restoration.

 “Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good.” Psalm 90:14-15

   I’ve shared this on my blog today too, come on over!

~Angie, from My Heart

www.xxxchurch.com has some excellent resources as well as an online “detox” program you can take part of.

The Sex-Starved Wifeby Michele Davis, is not a proclaimed Christian read, but is used by many Christian counselors.

Head on over to Post 2 for more Resources to pick up on Saving Sex for Marriage, Intimacy in Marriage and more…… 

Road block to intimacy

{Part 2} Sex After Infidelity: 8 Steps To Success

This is post 2 for today, head back to post 1: Returning to Intimacy After Betrayal

Sex after Infidelity

8 Steps For Intimacy After Infidelity

1) Choose to focus on the good in your spouse and the love that runs so deeply in your veins.  It’s easy to forget the reasons you fell in love.  Write, speak and say positive things, and watch the bountiful harvest of your kind words grow and bloom in your marriage as you fall in love all over again.

2) Never forget your battle is NOT against flesh and blood, aka your spouse. Imagine Satan standing beside your bed, tossing seeds of doubt, negativity and heartache, just hoping they will take root and ruin your love-making.  He hates you and he hates your marriage, which means he reallyreally hates sex and the unity that comes after. There is no better way to stick it to the devil, who tried to destroy your marriage, then to make love to your spouse!  It is an act of Worship to your Heavenly Father.

3) Remember the power of Forgiveness.  My spouse, broken before Christ, had asked the Lord and Savior to wash away his sins.  He was white as snow again.  It was ME, who was bringing along the filthy rags right into our intimate time.  Forgiveness means letting your heart love again during Love Making and letting go of the past for good. 

4) Love with all your heart.  To fully connect to your spouse, your heart needs to be into it.  Be ALL there with your spouse and enjoy every moment together. I know its scary, but be present as your heart and bodies, join as one.  Talk to your spouse about your fears, so they can help you know by their sweet and assuring words, that you are their one and only love. 

5) Break Old Ties.  Out loud, bind those connections in the name of Jesus and break them off.  There is a reason the Lord talks about 2 becoming 1 flesh, in the Spirit World, it happens.  Cutting those ties will help you move into a closer intimacy with your spouse and get satan out of the picture! 

6) Guard your mind from the devil’s attacks.   It blessed me so much when Dale would lead us in prayer before being intimate, asking the Lord to bless our union, and binding satan in the name of Jesus.  He HAS to flee when he hears that precious name of our Lord, he HATES it. This helped me to stay there with Dale and not let my mind go to the past.

7) Let your love-making be a healing balm for your wounded soul. I found comfort and healing in Dale’s arms, his tears and mine. Don’t let satan lie to you and tell you making love will make things worse.  He only wants to cause you further pain. 

8) Remember that Sex is a gift from God.  You can hurt your Heavenly Fathers just as much by failing to use a beautiful gift He gave you, as MISusing it all together. 

  God bless you on your road to healing. Satan’s attacks WILL come, so be alert, be unified; body, soul and spirit, as you fight him for your marriage.  

And don’t EVER forget, that Victory is yours, bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus.

  Take that, satan.

~T

Shared with To Love, Honor & Vacuum