Things Heard in My Home

Tylan to Avery: “O-M-O-M spells Mom.”
Tylan then asks me: “Is that how you spell it in cursive?”

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Avery: “Hey Nana! Watch dis!!!!”  (Nana is talking to Avery on the phone.)

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Tylan:  “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!” 

What’s wrong buddy?

“My finger is hurt! OWWWW!”

Let me see.  Oh my goodness Ty!  That’s only marker. 

 Very disapointed…..”Oh.”

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Avery with an accent: “Ima cowboy.  Howdy DUDE!”

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Avery: “Ho-ly Cooow!” 
Ty: “Avery that is a bad word.  Bad words break God’s heart……Mom, do we say holy cow?”

Yes Tylan, you can say holy cow. 

“What about Holy Moley?”

Sure, you can say holy moley.

“Oh.  Never mind Avery.  You can say it.”

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Tylan: “Can we listen to Michael Blueberry?”  (Michael Buble’)

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Avery:  “Mom. Mom. MOM. MOMOMOMOMOM.”

WHAAAAAT?! 

“You my best fwiend.” 

<Total guilt> Awww! Thanks baby!

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Ty: “M-ooooom!  Avery’s not looking at me!”  

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<Avery slinks by totally in the buff>

Avery Lyn! Where are your clothes?  

Avery shrugs: “I need to be naked.”

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Ty! Did you swallow your gum?     

“No, I just chewed it in my tummy.”

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Ty: “Mom, I want to be a doctor when I grow up so I can help people.”

That is great Tylan!  How about you Avery?  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Avery: “Awee, supa man gwrl!” (Avery super man girl)

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Ty: “Mom, I know how to spell 7!!” 

 Oh yeah?  How?  

Ty, super excited: “5 & 2!!!!!!”

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Ty at prayer time:  “Dear God, thanks for PopTarts, Bars & Bla-nana’s. A-men!”

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Ty, clean up your toys.

Cheerfully says: “Yes mom!” and walks away. Looks up and quietly adds, “Yes God”.       :)

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That’s it Avery!!  You are GROUNDED from Rice Krispies! 

(Don’t ask! Loooong story)

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Ty: “Mushrooms are healthier than carrots.” 

How do you know? 

Ty sheepishly shrugs:  ” I don’t, I just made it up.”

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That’s it from my house, until next time…..
~T

P.S.

Here are the same 2 kiddos a year ago hanging out in the same location……Can you BELIEVE the difference a year can make?

The Return of Random Things

Random Things

1.  We haven’t owned a microwave since ours died 6 years ago.

2.  Close your mouths, it IS possible to live without the microwave.

3.  We reheat using our toaster oven or the stove top.

4.  The microwave is a terrible contraption that kills your food.  Seriously!

5.  I once saw an article written on a plant study: regular water vs. microwave water.  The microwaved water plant DIED people!  DIED!

6.  If you touch my belly button, I will instantly gag, and quite frankly, might accidentally punch you in the face.

7.  Why God would install this gag button on me, I’ll never know.

8.  Dale scared me so bad once, my legs gave out from under me and my eyes cried.

9.  Jerk.

10.  It wasn’t my fault I had mouthed off to him right before walking out of our bedroom, towards the dark kitchen, to get a drink.

11.  Or, that I was smugly enjoying that last word, when I heard a thumping noise behind me.  As I turned, I saw a giant ferocious beast leaping over the coffee table behind me.

12.  It was the first time in my life I had ever seen someone move in slow-motion through the air, like the bad lion in the Lion King movie.

13.  Thus, the jello legs and teary eyes.

14.  Jerk.

15.  He found it extremely funny, and I bet to this day it’s his favorite story to tell about me.

16.  Hardy har har. Big strong man scares innocent helpless female.  Never heard that one before!

17.  We were privileged to go to Maui for 7 days for our honeymoon as a gift from the family I nannied for at the time.

18.  It’s paradise, just like they say.

19.  Sometimes I look at those photos and wonder:”Who ARE those people?”

20.  It’s probably because we weren’t just “Dale & Tonya” for very long.  We had our first baby, Destiny Joy, 15 months later.

21.  We then proceeded to get pregnant 7 times more after that, for a total of  8 pregnancy’s in 8 years.

22.  We’ve finally figured out what causes this….

23.  We have GOT to change our water filters more often!  Who knew?

24.  I always said I wanted 4-6 kids, but now that we have gotten the “water filter issue” figured out, we have  purchased a “4 & No More” policy.  (And we have the bags of peas to prove it!)

25.  I always wondered how I would know when I was “done.”

26.    Yeah, there is no question.  When you know, you know!

27.  God once provided $1500 in unexpected checks in the mail when I was believing, in faith, for money for Destiny’s school tuition. Anniversary-Sticker

28.  God is SO good!

29.  Cool random fact: There has been a Bontrager descendant at Central Christian for 52 years now.  Destiny started the year after the last Bontrager cousin graduated, so the tradition continues.  Cool huh?!header

30.  Destiny used to think the Fruits of the Spirit were: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, PEOPLENESS, Gentleness and Self-Control.

31.  Despite my best arguments, she could NOT be convinced otherwise.

32.  She is stubborn, just like her daddy.

33.  She just now figured, years later, its Faithfulness, not Peopleness, and sheepishly told me so the other day.

34.  Aren’t kids great?

35.  Dale once came to bed painted in pink calamine lotion.

36.  In ONLY pink calamine lotion.

37.  Needless to say, Dale will think twice before ripping mysterious vines off our light pole and then taking a pee.

38.  It was extremely funny.

39.  I doubt he agrees.

40.  The grossest thing I have ever made was a Portobello Mushroom soup.

41.  Sounded yummy, tasted like dirt.

42.  Destiny is scarred for life.  She still to this day asks: “Mommy, you’ll never make that brown soup again, riiiiight?”

43.  Poor, poor child.

44.  Dale and I did not repeat a recipe for the first 6 months of our marriage.

45.  Thus was born, my love for trying new recipes. That and the fact that my mother LOVED to repeat recipes over and over and over and….you get the idea. (Love you mom) :)

46.  I currently have a stack of  about 300 pages of new recipes, just waiting to be tried. 053

47.  It makes me so excited to fill out our monthly menu’s!

48.  Apparently, I need to get out more.

49.  I once filled Dale’s toothbrush with Orajel.

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50. I found it much funnier than he did.

51.  Word to the wise if you do this to your hubby, better have a new toothbrush handy.  The old one will have to be history, or forever more numb the mouth of your loved one.

52.    So. Worth. It.

53.  When I was a little girl I would run as fast as I could from my bedroom, past the storage room door and up the stairs to the kitchen.

54.  I just KNEW there was a monster who would reach his long stringy arms around the corner from the storage room and try to grab my legs.

55.  There was also a little mean crab who lived at the bottom of my bed, that would pinch my toes if I didn’t sleep curled up in a ball at the top half of the bed.

56.  I still sleep that way to this day, although there is no little crab residing at the end of my bed, just my dog, Sophie.

57.  I currently have 4 pillows I sleep with.

58.  No, I am not high maintenance.

59.  Why would you say such a thing?

60.  2 are for my head, one is for protecting my poor, recently broken tailbone from Dale’s giant knee, and the 4th, I hug.

61.  It’s quite cozy.

62.  For some reason, Dale thinks we need a King size bed?

63.  I just couldn’t understand why, until I once saw him sleeping with his arm on the nightstand to keep him in bed.

64.  Oops, maybe its time to lose a few pillows.

65.  I have been trying to kneel down on our kids level when talking to them.  It totally makes a difference in their response!

66.  I wonder sometimes, how I must look to them, as I tower over them shaking my finger and scolding.

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67.  It’s hard being a mom.

68.  Tylan once took his toy shot-gun to the window to shoot the turkey’s in our yard.

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69.  Avery stood next to him bawling her eyes out: “No Ty! Turkey’s NICE.  Turkey’s NIIIIICE.”

70.  I quickly learned there was a difference between raising boys and raising girls when I had my first son, Tylan.

71.  Every morning, I knew when he was awake based on the noises coming from the bassinet……

<Stretch…….TOOOOOOT>

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72.  I looked at Dale, in both shock and horror, “You mean that stuff is HARD WIRED into you guys?!?!?!?!”

73.  I was going to write something here.  Maybe even something profound, but I got distracted by a kid, and now the clever thought is gone, never to return.  Sorry.

74.  Moving on….

75.  I give my children spit baths.

76.  I SWORE I would NEVER lick my thumb and clean my child’s face like my mom did to me. Ew!

77.  How is it that until you step foot in the church parking lot, there is no breakfast present on your child’s face?

78.  Step out of the car at church and Bam!  Crusty milk and toothpaste from ear to ear.  Thus, the spit bath!

79.  I also swore I’d never say “Because I am the mom that is why…..”

80.  Yeah, got over that one a LOOOONG time ago.

81.  Journaling used to be a passion of mine.  I have 12 journals dating back to my Jr. year in HS.

82.  Used to meaning, I still love to, but who has time for that now?!

83.  This blog is now my version of journaling.

84.  Brace yourself people, you never know just what you’ll read!

85.  When I was in high school, I used to hang my bratty little brother over the upstairs banister and wonder why he freaked out.

86.  There was a MARBLE floor below, people.  MARBLE.

87.  What was I thinking?!

88.  Now, the wedgies, he totally deserved, and the punches in the arm too! But I admit, hanging him over the balcony, although humorous at the time, now makes me sick to my stomach.

89.  Sorry Chaddy.

90.  Guess being a mom kinda changes your perspective on things a bit.

91.  Dale once had an entire conversation with himself in his sleep.

92.  My favorite part was when he did both the high lady voice and the low manly voice.

93.  He is really going to hate this blog post, I must be in a “Dale story” kind of mood, cause I have divulged quite a slew of them this time!

94.  I hate backing up a vehicle.

95.  Always have, probably always will.

96.  It makes me carsick.  Bleh.

97.  I once crashed into our mailbox with the Tahoe.

98.  Ok, that was a lie.

99.  I did it twice.

100.  In the same year.

101.  Well, it just jumped out in front of me when I was pulling up to get the mail!

102.  BOTH TIMES!  HONEST!

103.  We still to this day can’t figure out how our short little mailbox ended up on the hood of our very tall Tahoe.

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104.  Twice.

105.  Guess I am just talented like that.

106.  Sorry Dale.

107.  I really am a good and safe driver.  Really, I am!

108.  I AM!!!!! 

109.  I can never manage to find our house phone when it rings even though we have 3 handsets.

110.  Either that or it rings at the WORST possible moment when 100 other things are occuring….LOUDLY!

111.  But, if you ever need to talk, you can call me.

112.  There will be screaming in the background, and I’ll have to hide in the closet to hear you.

113.  It’ll be awesome.

 Happy day to you and yours….

~T

Random Things

  I love to make lists. Usually it’s a list of To Do’s, but today, it’s a list of Random Things.  What can I say, it seemed like an easy blog topic for the day.  :)

1. Being organized makes me happy.

2. I have to eat my Skittles sorted by color, and eaten from least favorite, to favorite.

3. First, yellow, orange, green, and then, red & purple can be switched depending on my mood.

4. This is precisely why I don’t get Skittles at the movies. Too dark to sort, and just too much work.

5. I heard of a mean trick once, that I am totally doing sometime: add 2 or 3 yellow and orange Reese’s Pieces to a bag of Skittles. FUNNY!

6. 3 Reese’s Pieces are hiding in this pic.  Poor Dale will never know what hit him.

7. I love ice cream.

8. There are as many as 8 – 1/2 gallons of ice cream at a time, in my upright garage freezer.

9. I am terrible at folding fitted sheets.

10. I am scared to let my dog out at night because she barks ferociously like someone is out there.

11. I can’t walk from room to room, without gathering up random things left out by the kids.

12. I have also been known to fluff & tidy pillows, every time I walk through the living room.

13. I have to make my bed, or it drives me crazy all day.

14. Sometimes, I end up in the laundry room with things like the phone, a can of baked beans, a shoe and a baby doll, and no earthly idea, why I was headed out there in the first place.

15. My closet is organized by type of clothing: home, church, athletic, tank tops, sweaters, etc.

16. Each section is then organized by color.

17. I own roughly 93 pairs of shoes.

18. Don’t judge me.  Shoes are my weakness, like Kryptonite to Superman.

19. They are also organized by color and style.

20. This helps me sleep at night.

21. My husband is still semi-sloppy, after 8 years of marriage to neat & tidy me.

22. Thank God, he has been cured of his “Dale trails”.  (I could literally follow where he’d gone from the time he stepped foot in the door….he’d leave a trail of keys, change, wallet, cell phone, coat, shoes etc).

23. He has also been cured of the GIANT-Can’t-Walk-For-Fear-of-Falling, Can’t-See-the-Carpet, Mountain of discarded clothing on his side of the bed. Can we say HAMPER, people?

24. I think he keeps the remainder of his sloppy habits, just to drive me nuts.

25. Good thing I love him so much.

26. I love to cook.

27. I am addicted to new recipes.

28. I am currently a bit overwhelmed at my drawer full of recipe print off’s needing homes, as my recipe notebooks are full and overflowing.  In fact, my whole recipe book section is full and overflowing!

29. Organizational action MUST be taken, and soon.

30. I love that Dale still makes my heart jump around.

31. I have been pregnant 8 times in 8 years. I no longer wish to be pregnant.

32. Ever. Again.

33. Holding Paxton in my arms, brings tears to my eyes.

34. I can’t pick him up without breathing a prayer of thanksgiving, that the Lord allowed him to live here on earth, with me.

35. Since adding the 4th child to our family, laundry day starts on Monday and sometimes I don’t get it finished until Saturday, when the kids can help put their’s away.

36. This cannot continue, I used to get it all done in a day, maybe two.  (I’m working on it!)

37. My kids might just be the slowest eaters, EVER.

38. This drives Dale and I crazy.

39. Avery once at breakfast for an hour and a half.

40. It was cereal.

41. Now the food gets taken after X amount of time and they get it the next meal instead.

42. Mean? Maybe.

43. But, it only took Destiny 2 times, and Tylan once to figure out supper is not so good for breakfast.

44. I don’t watch scary movies. They feel too evil, and I don‘t like how my house feels afterwards.

45. I’m more of a “And they lived happily ever after….” kinda girl.

46. My favorite movie? My Best Friends Wedding.

47. Or, Sweet Home Alabama.

48. Or, Miss Congeniality.

49. Fine. Pretty much anything with Julia Roberts, Reece Witherspoon, or Sandra Bullock in them.

50. Except “Eat. Pray. Love.”

51. That should be called: “Snack. Doze. Sleep.”

52. I want my $7 back.

53. I was raised in a Mennonite church.

54. Yes, we had Tv and Cars. You are thinking of Amish.

55. Can you imagine me without a hair dryer? I think not.

56. I currently attend a Nazarene Church I LOVE.

57. More important than that, I am a Christian saved by grace.

58. 3 of my 4 children have accepted Christ into their hearts.

59. This fact brings tears to my eyes!

60. My heart leaps when I think of the day I get to meet my 4 babies in Heaven.

61. I’m married to an extremely laid-back, and patient man.

62. I test his patience often.

63. Dale can’t stand the sound of styrofoam squeaking.

64. Because of this, I once squeaked a To-Go container most of the way home.

65. This stopped when he reached across the front seat, and ripped the lid of my box off, in one quick motion.

66. I about peed my pants.

67. He found it extremely humorous.

68. I haven’t squeaked a To Go container, more than twice per car ride, since.

69. I used to LOVE to play the piano.

70. I took lessons from age 7 – 16.

71. I don’t play anymore.  Just sometimes at Christmas, for the kids to sing along to.

72. I aspire to learn to play the harp one day, after the kids are grown.

73. I was a city girl through and through.

74. I married a country boy, who grew up on a dairy.

75. I never thought I’d learn to love the country.

76. I never want to live in town again.

77. I love that God knows what I need or want, better than I do.

78. Dale and I can’t pray together right now, without one of us falling asleep.

79. I love that God understands the stage of life we are in.

80. I love that someday, we will sleep all night consistently. (Right? Please tell me it happens again.)

81. “Sleeping in” at our house, means its 7:30 am before we hear the first pitter-patter of little feet, coming into our room.

82. Alarm clocks are much more appealing when they wear footy jams.

83. My favorite food is Mexican, no I mean Italian, no-no, Mexican.

84. Ok, I guess it depends on the day.

85. The second, and I mean second, Pax is done nursing, I am celebrating with a huge batch of Buffalo Wings, Chips & Salsa from Chilis, and that killer Wasabi sandwich from the Mustard Seed.

86. It’s been aprox. 9 months since I’ve been able to enjoy these things without adverse effects: like pregnancy induced heartburn that made me cry at night, or more recently, a screaming baby who apparently says “no thank you” to spicy milk?

87. I love to bake.

88. Dale doesn’t like many sweets.

89. The kids are rarely allowed sugar.

90. This is why I have to think of people to give my desserts to.

91. I mean really, I shouldn’t have to eat the whole cake alone!

92. I am a “foodie” through and through.

93. Eating out totally counts as the whole date, especially if we get to eat at a new place.

94. I get cravings for food, whether I am pregnant or not.

95. Avery is my most stubborn child.

96. She is also the only child that looks totally Ferguson.

97. Dale Ferguson is the most stubborn man I know.

98. Hmmmm, what could this mean?

99. I love photos of my kids.

100. Regardless of what designers say, about not decorating your home with family pictures, I gladly do it and love it.

101. It makes it feel homey.

102. But, they have to be organized in a grid form or small cluster, like this:

103. They cannot be crooked or I have to stand there until I make them all just so.

104. Yeah, we’ve established I am anal, so this should not surprise you in the least.

105. Moving on….

106. I love to read.

107. When I was on bed rest I was reading 28 books a month.

108. Now, I can barely read 28 pages a month.

109. I’m ok with that.

110. Its super important to me, that my kids love to read.

111. I hate TV, and I especially HATE video games.

112. I adore Christmas music.

113. Dale makes me wait to play it until the day after Thanksgiving, when the tree goes up.

114. The song Feliz Navida makes me crazy.

115. My favorite Christmas song gives me chills, it’s called: “All Through the Night”.

116. You can listen to it here: (Our Christmas CD’s version is WAY better, but I can’t find it.)

 117. I am terrible at telling people, “No”.  I have extreme guilt afterwards if I say it.

118. I am getting better at it, due to sheer lack of time without kids. How can I be a good help to anyone with 4 kids in tow, 3 who still need naps or they turn into grizzly bears, and 1 of those 3, attached to my body every couple of hours seeking nourishment? Yeah, not happening.

119. This list is getting long.

120. I am done being random, it’s making me a little crazy. I just might have to go edit this, so it reads in order of topic……

 Nah!

 Have a good one!

 ~T  :)

Things Heard in My Home…..

 A peek (a listen?) into my home……

“No, you may not have TV time until all your chores are completed.”

“Avery, quit picking your nose, it’s gross.”

“Destiny, repeating “Hey mom” 20 times to tell me something, will not get you the kind of attention you are seeking.”

“Ty, quit honking your pee pee.”

“Paxton, why are you fussing? Here, have a binky.“

“Avery! I can tell you are still picking your nose, even if you turn your back to me.”

“Ty! Quit! Do you have to pee or something? Go potty!”

“No Avery, I do not want your “booder”, go get a Kleenex and wash your hands…..”

“Oh my goodness, who dumped out all the clean, folded laundry in here?”

“Tylan, don’t come out of the bathroom with your pants still down.“

“Paxton! Seriously, quit spitting your bink out…….Oh, its past the 3 hour mark, no wonder you are so fussy, it’s time to feed you, again!!!!“

“Tylan! Go wash your hands. We always wash after we use the bathroom.”

“Destiny, stop jumping rope next to your sister, you keep hitting her.”

“Can someone bring mommy the phone? No, you can’t answer it, just bring it to me!”

“No Tylan, it was NOT your turn to talk. It was a call for mommy.“

“Listen here mister, if you want to cry, then I will give you a reason to cry.”

“Eww, whose poopy?”

“Ty… Quit Crying! Go sit on your Boo-hoo bed until the happy Ty comes back.”

“Avery, go get me a diaper, you are stinky!”

“Destiny, have you done your homework? No playing until you do your homework!”

“Who dumped all these puzzles out?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

“Avery! Where are your socks? It’s too cold for bare feet, now go find them!”

“Destiny, you are NOT the mommy, you may NOT hand out strikes or punishments!”

“Can’t mommy have privacy when she goes to the bathroom? Quit pounding on the door! I‘ll be out in a second….”

“Of course it’s stinky, no one invited the 3 of you in here…..Now, go play!”

“Avery, you cannot wear your flip-flops, its winter time. GO find your SOCKS!”

“Destiny. Homework. Now.”

“Now who is poopy? Eww, Pax! Why do you always have to poop UP? What a mess!”

“Avery, quit making your big brother cry…”

“Destiny! Why didn’t you make your bed this morning? Go make it now.”

“I need FIRST TIME OBEDIENCE!”

“Avery, where are your clothes?!?!?!?!?!”

DA-AAAAAAAALE! Come deal with YOUR kids……..”

 

Wishing you a fan-tabulous Tuesday….

~T :)