Date Your Mate (even if it’s Tuesday)

When you have little ones, date night starts to naturally take a back seat to the chaos called ‘life with kids’.  In fact, the MORE little ones you have, the less you even think about date night. It’s a thing of the past, a distant memory of days gone by.  Besides, how could you want to leave a face like this?????

Heck, even if you WANTED to go out, you are often too exhausted to even think of making the effort to take off the spit up smelling sweatshirt & coordinating sweats. You know, the ones with snot crusties about knee height?  Yup, those.  (This is precisely why there is an entire “Home clothes” section of my closet!) And put on full makeup??  What’s that?  IMPORTANT, that’s what.  No, no, not necessarily JUST the makeup part, the whole shebang…you know, the getting fixed up and going on a date part!

As a stay at home mom who lives in baggy shirts with snot crusted pants and house shoes, its important, even if I am too tired, to get fixed up once in a while, get a sitter and go out to dinner with my hunny.  Yeah, it’s a lot of work and effort.  Yeah, we usually sit and talk about the kids anyways, but I am investing in Dale, in my relationship with him outside of the children we share.  I am giving him my full time and attention.  I am reconnecting with my best friend. I am dressing up and leaving the “home clothes” section of my closet behind!  🙂  And, even though he says he doesn’t care if I do makeup or not, I know he appreciates it, that when we go out together, I get fixed up for him.  I want him to be proud to have me on his arm!

I love that on date night, I can hold his hand more than just while we’re driving.  We can actually walk in holding hands, because there is not an infant car seat, diaper bag and 3 kids walking between us. 

I love that I can wear high heels instead of house shoes! I call these my “Not carrying around a 14 pound baby” heels.  🙂

I love that we can eat our dinner all in one sitting…..No jumping up to clean up a spill, get ketchup, or nurse a hungry baby, who waits to ask to eat until my first bite is mere inches from my mouth. It’s just me and my love, investing in our marriage.

When Destiny was first-born, date night was Friday.  EVERY Friday, like clockwork.  I didn’t know how good I had it!  Then, we had Tylan & Avery, 17 months apart.  Suddenly, date night was cut to about once a month, if we were lucky.  Soon, staying home and renting a movie to watch after the kids were in bed, became more and more appealing.  We were exhausted!!!!!  And for the last 2 years, that’s pretty much been it.  We do our best to make “home dates” feel special, by doing things like busting out some ice cream and waffle cones. And of course, Dale makes a HUGE bowl of his famous popcorn.  Yum! 🙂  Its sleepy, cozy, stay in your sweats, snuggle your hunny, kind of fun.  Don’t get me wrong, dates like that can be really nice, because setting apart time to spend together, is the only requirement.  Well, that and a $1 movie rental!

Dale & I are part of an amazing group of married couples at church.  The name of our Sunday school class is, “The Breakfast Club”. This is due largely to the fact, that anytime you pop your head into our classroom, we are feeding our faces.  🙂  We just started a new study called: “The Surprising Marriage”, and to kick it off, we each wrote a date idea down, mixed them up and drew one.  Here were the date ideas the ladies (and Craig) came up with:

#1   1. Get a sitter for the kiddos 2. Eat at a nice restaurant 3. Enjoy some TV time together 4. Go for a walk

#2  Re-create an original date, complete with front door pick up, and goodnight make out session.

#3  Chocolate syrup and Redi whip to do with as you please, followed by a steamy shower.

#4  Send the kids off, or tuck them to bed, then cook dinner together, eat together and watch a movie.

#5   1. Before the date, write a letter to each other, telling each other how much you love and appreciate them.  2. Cook, or get a meal, to eat outdoors and have a picnic. Read each other’s letters out loud.  3. Lay on a blanket and watch the stars, and remember why God put you in each other’s lives.

#6   1. Flowers for the wife 2. Dinner at Jillian’s  3. Out to coffee at the shop of her choice  4. Home to make out.

#7  Get some food and snacks together, and watch a movie after the kids go to bed.

#8  Eat each course of your meal at a different restaurant.

Our class plans to do this again next month, except have the husbands come up with the dates, so stay tuned for more fun ideas from “The Breakfast Club”!  🙂  (the class, not the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

We drew number 6, and date night was a success!  Tuesday night is not the most amazing night to go on a date, with school the next day etc., but our next date night may just be another movie night at home, so I’ll take it! 🙂

(Thanks to Nana for coming to babysit so we could go!)

#1: Flowers for the wifey.

Dale came home with this instead:

His explanation? “Flowers die. And our marriage would wither and die if we didn’t spend time seeking God together, so I decided to use the flower money to get us a new devotion book. I’d rather have you for a lifetime than flowers for a week.”   <MELT MELT MELT, Sigh>

The book?  “The Love Language Minute Devotional” by Gary Chapman.

#2: Eat at Jillian’s.  Fabulous food! Excellent service by Andrea, the best waitress around!  We lingered 1 1/2 hours over dinner.  That NEVER happens! 

Here is Dale after seeing our bill…..big baby!

#3:  Coffee at Starbucks. I got a delicious Caramel Apple Cider & a Pumpkin scone. Dale got Pumpkin Spice Latte. 

It’s good to get out without the kiddos from time to time! It’s a reminder of how much fun you can have together as a couple, because regardless of how stressful Dale’s work day had been, regardless of how many times I lost my cool with the children, its time to get back to why we got married…..we love each other.
Plain & simple.
We’re more than just the parents of our children, we’re Dale & Tonya too.  It’s easy to forget that, especially when you have young children, and a new baby literally hanging from your body all day long, seeking sustenance.
Date your mate, invest in your marriage, you’ll NEVER be sorry!
Off to go complete number FOUR on the list!
😉 Good night!

~T  🙂


3 thoughts on “Date Your Mate (even if it’s Tuesday)

  1. Pingback: 2010 in review «

  2. Pingback: 4 Little Fergusons Top 20: #9 – 4 «

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