Once upon a time, the Lord laid on my heart to write a blog. Once upon a time, I laughed Him off and went about my business, adjusting to life with a brand new baby.
A couple of months passed, and again, I am thinking about a blog. Why Lord? Why do you keep bringing this to my mind?
Ok fine, IF I was going to do a blog, what would I name it?
I played with names for like bit and came up with:
Spilt milk.com “’Whoever said there’s no use crying over spilt milk, obviously never pumped 6 oz. and accidentally dumped it.’ The joys and trials of motherhood.”
Or lemonade.com “Making lemonade from those lemon-esque motherhood moments”.
Or Supermom.com “I’m a Mom, what’s your Super Power?”
None of those really felt right, but whatever, I was never going to write a blog, so what did it matter?! I laughed it off, and wearily crawled to bed, thankful that I wasn’t going to have to think about this topic anymore.
Well, you can imagine my jaw dropping surprise, when the VERY NEXT MORNING I get an answer from the Lord that no, we were NOT done discussing this topic. I checked my email, and saw that a second cousin of mine had written. Now, she and I do not talk on a regular basis, mind you, so I was very curious to see why she was writing me. Here is a snip-it of the email:
Tonya! We need to talk! I had this idea before I even got out of bed this morning. You post a lot on facebook …..I was thinking…. have you ever considered doing a full-time blog on the Internet? Recipes, motherhood ideas, scriptures and uplifting things…. You could even be a “digest”, you know, using others’ bits of information and condensing them on your own blog.
People make all kinds of money just writing and sharing like that. I think you have a talent for entertaining people….. and with FOUR kids including a bambino…. people will listen to you and follow you.
She went on with some more tips and pointers, but seriously? Can you imagine my shock to be reading this email about the very subject I went to bed thinking the Lord and I were done “discussing”? She had NO idea the mental battle I was going through, just felt lead to write. Wow! I felt like it was a neon sign from God, the kind with flashing lights: BLOG! BLOG! BLOG!
So I said “Ok Lord. Fine, I will do this for you.” And proceeded to go online to decide which blog site I wanted to use. WordPress seemed like a good fit, but all my name ideas had been taken.
Then it came to me…..my life was my family, so naturally that’s what my blog would be about as well.
Thus was born, http://www.4littlefergusons.wordpress.com.
(A big thanks for my friend, Lisa, who made these beautiful headers for me!)
I wrote my first post, “Hello World” the next day, 10/20/2010.
It’s been a ride, I’ll tell you that, and I’m only 3 months into it!!!!! Do you know how scary it is, to take your heart and put it out in cyberspace for all to see? Taking the chance that it’ll get picked apart, judged, or worse yet, even stomped on and crushed!
I am still very intimidated, but also thankful the Lord has asked me to do this. I live for your comments and private messages on my posts, telling me that you too, go through these struggles in life or motherhood. Or your encouragement to keep writing, when you were particularly touched by a certain post…such beautiful, encouraging words from women in the same walk of life as myself! I love to hear tears are streaming down your face as you read, because they were streaming down mine as I wrote that particular blog post.
Your messages are the fuel that keeps me going when things get tough.
And each time I start to play with the idea of quitting, or cutting down to 3 posts a week, the Lord provides me with some more “fuel” to push through the tough patch, and keep on keepin’ on, so thank you for taking the time to write!
This past couple weeks, I have been feeling extra frustrated trying to find a good balance in my life: being mommy to 4 kids, being a good wife to Dale, keeping up the house how I like AND being a Blogger. I want to spend quality time with my kids AND have a spotless house AND have all the laundry done AND have a lovely dinner in the oven when Dale gets home from work AND have a blog post ready and waiting for the next morning, but it just doesn’t always happen as it should! Man, I hate that! I need a couple more hours in my day. And while I am requesting extra hours, how about a few more during the night too! 🙂
Maybe some of the frustration came from having sick kiddos, again. I take that so personally like, what am I doing wrong? We wash hands, we take our vitamins, we cough in our sleeves instead of hands, we sanitize toys and doorknobs…..Why Lord, WHY?
Ty shared his bug with Avery, so just a day after being up all night with him, I was up all night with her. Maybe I was just plain weary?!
Maybe some of my struggles were because my numbers were lower than usual last week, (they can run anywhere from 66-176 daily visitors on posting days) and I was asking myself, WHY am I committing my time and energy to this?
No matter what the reason for my feelings, my hope is the rollercoaster will stop, and I will be 100% committed to this idea of a weekly blog. No matter the numbers: high or low for the day. No matter the comments or lack of comments. No matter the topic: exciting or boring…..to just keep typing as the Lord leads. To allow Him to use my fingers for His glory. To keep sharing from my heart, and opening my home to you, my guests, to peek in on us, whether it’s a good day or a rotten one.
So this morning, as once again I received a beautifully written email from another momma, JUST when I needed the encouragement most, I am eating a slice of Humble Pie. The good kind of Humble Pie, the kind that makes me in awe of my Heavenly Father and His love for me. I am humbly reminded this morning, that the Lord knows what I need, well before I need it. I know He has a plan for me and this blog, even if I am writing to only 1 other reader out there!
I am choosing today to praise Him in spite of getting no shower, inspite of a fussy baby who wants to fight sleep even though sleep ALWAYS wins, a kiddo recovering from the runs and pukes, another with a case of the pukes, and the bazillion loads of laundry I have waiting for me right now in the laundry room……He gave me the nugget of encouragement that He knew I needed to hear, just because He loves me that much.
Today, as I sit here in front of my computer, typing away, I want to thank you for taking moments from your busy lives, whether at work or in your jammies at home, for stopping in my world, even for a moment.
YOU bless ME! Y