The Return of Random Things

Random Things

1.  We haven’t owned a microwave since ours died 6 years ago.

2.  Close your mouths, it IS possible to live without the microwave.

3.  We reheat using our toaster oven or the stove top.

4.  The microwave is a terrible contraption that kills your food.  Seriously!

5.  I once saw an article written on a plant study: regular water vs. microwave water.  The microwaved water plant DIED people!  DIED!

6.  If you touch my belly button, I will instantly gag, and quite frankly, might accidentally punch you in the face.

7.  Why God would install this gag button on me, I’ll never know.

8.  Dale scared me so bad once, my legs gave out from under me and my eyes cried.

9.  Jerk.

10.  It wasn’t my fault I had mouthed off to him right before walking out of our bedroom, towards the dark kitchen, to get a drink.

11.  Or, that I was smugly enjoying that last word, when I heard a thumping noise behind me.  As I turned, I saw a giant ferocious beast leaping over the coffee table behind me.

12.  It was the first time in my life I had ever seen someone move in slow-motion through the air, like the bad lion in the Lion King movie.

13.  Thus, the jello legs and teary eyes.

14.  Jerk.

15.  He found it extremely funny, and I bet to this day it’s his favorite story to tell about me.

16.  Hardy har har. Big strong man scares innocent helpless female.  Never heard that one before!

17.  We were privileged to go to Maui for 7 days for our honeymoon as a gift from the family I nannied for at the time.

18.  It’s paradise, just like they say.

19.  Sometimes I look at those photos and wonder:”Who ARE those people?”

20.  It’s probably because we weren’t just “Dale & Tonya” for very long.  We had our first baby, Destiny Joy, 15 months later.

21.  We then proceeded to get pregnant 7 times more after that, for a total of  8 pregnancy’s in 8 years.

22.  We’ve finally figured out what causes this….

23.  We have GOT to change our water filters more often!  Who knew?

24.  I always said I wanted 4-6 kids, but now that we have gotten the “water filter issue” figured out, we have  purchased a “4 & No More” policy.  (And we have the bags of peas to prove it!)

25.  I always wondered how I would know when I was “done.”

26.    Yeah, there is no question.  When you know, you know!

27.  God once provided $1500 in unexpected checks in the mail when I was believing, in faith, for money for Destiny’s school tuition. Anniversary-Sticker

28.  God is SO good!

29.  Cool random fact: There has been a Bontrager descendant at Central Christian for 52 years now.  Destiny started the year after the last Bontrager cousin graduated, so the tradition continues.  Cool huh?!header

30.  Destiny used to think the Fruits of the Spirit were: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, PEOPLENESS, Gentleness and Self-Control.

31.  Despite my best arguments, she could NOT be convinced otherwise.

32.  She is stubborn, just like her daddy.

33.  She just now figured, years later, its Faithfulness, not Peopleness, and sheepishly told me so the other day.

34.  Aren’t kids great?

35.  Dale once came to bed painted in pink calamine lotion.

36.  In ONLY pink calamine lotion.

37.  Needless to say, Dale will think twice before ripping mysterious vines off our light pole and then taking a pee.

38.  It was extremely funny.

39.  I doubt he agrees.

40.  The grossest thing I have ever made was a Portobello Mushroom soup.

41.  Sounded yummy, tasted like dirt.

42.  Destiny is scarred for life.  She still to this day asks: “Mommy, you’ll never make that brown soup again, riiiiight?”

43.  Poor, poor child.

44.  Dale and I did not repeat a recipe for the first 6 months of our marriage.

45.  Thus was born, my love for trying new recipes. That and the fact that my mother LOVED to repeat recipes over and over and over and….you get the idea. (Love you mom) :)

46.  I currently have a stack of  about 300 pages of new recipes, just waiting to be tried. 053

47.  It makes me so excited to fill out our monthly menu’s!

48.  Apparently, I need to get out more.

49.  I once filled Dale’s toothbrush with Orajel.

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50. I found it much funnier than he did.

51.  Word to the wise if you do this to your hubby, better have a new toothbrush handy.  The old one will have to be history, or forever more numb the mouth of your loved one.

52.    So. Worth. It.

53.  When I was a little girl I would run as fast as I could from my bedroom, past the storage room door and up the stairs to the kitchen.

54.  I just KNEW there was a monster who would reach his long stringy arms around the corner from the storage room and try to grab my legs.

55.  There was also a little mean crab who lived at the bottom of my bed, that would pinch my toes if I didn’t sleep curled up in a ball at the top half of the bed.

56.  I still sleep that way to this day, although there is no little crab residing at the end of my bed, just my dog, Sophie.

57.  I currently have 4 pillows I sleep with.

58.  No, I am not high maintenance.

59.  Why would you say such a thing?

60.  2 are for my head, one is for protecting my poor, recently broken tailbone from Dale’s giant knee, and the 4th, I hug.

61.  It’s quite cozy.

62.  For some reason, Dale thinks we need a King size bed?

63.  I just couldn’t understand why, until I once saw him sleeping with his arm on the nightstand to keep him in bed.

64.  Oops, maybe its time to lose a few pillows.

65.  I have been trying to kneel down on our kids level when talking to them.  It totally makes a difference in their response!

66.  I wonder sometimes, how I must look to them, as I tower over them shaking my finger and scolding.

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67.  It’s hard being a mom.

68.  Tylan once took his toy shot-gun to the window to shoot the turkey’s in our yard.

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69.  Avery stood next to him bawling her eyes out: “No Ty! Turkey’s NICE.  Turkey’s NIIIIICE.”

70.  I quickly learned there was a difference between raising boys and raising girls when I had my first son, Tylan.

71.  Every morning, I knew when he was awake based on the noises coming from the bassinet……

<Stretch…….TOOOOOOT>

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72.  I looked at Dale, in both shock and horror, “You mean that stuff is HARD WIRED into you guys?!?!?!?!”

73.  I was going to write something here.  Maybe even something profound, but I got distracted by a kid, and now the clever thought is gone, never to return.  Sorry.

74.  Moving on….

75.  I give my children spit baths.

76.  I SWORE I would NEVER lick my thumb and clean my child’s face like my mom did to me. Ew!

77.  How is it that until you step foot in the church parking lot, there is no breakfast present on your child’s face?

78.  Step out of the car at church and Bam!  Crusty milk and toothpaste from ear to ear.  Thus, the spit bath!

79.  I also swore I’d never say “Because I am the mom that is why…..”

80.  Yeah, got over that one a LOOOONG time ago.

81.  Journaling used to be a passion of mine.  I have 12 journals dating back to my Jr. year in HS.

82.  Used to meaning, I still love to, but who has time for that now?!

83.  This blog is now my version of journaling.

84.  Brace yourself people, you never know just what you’ll read!

85.  When I was in high school, I used to hang my bratty little brother over the upstairs banister and wonder why he freaked out.

86.  There was a MARBLE floor below, people.  MARBLE.

87.  What was I thinking?!

88.  Now, the wedgies, he totally deserved, and the punches in the arm too! But I admit, hanging him over the balcony, although humorous at the time, now makes me sick to my stomach.

89.  Sorry Chaddy.

90.  Guess being a mom kinda changes your perspective on things a bit.

91.  Dale once had an entire conversation with himself in his sleep.

92.  My favorite part was when he did both the high lady voice and the low manly voice.

93.  He is really going to hate this blog post, I must be in a “Dale story” kind of mood, cause I have divulged quite a slew of them this time!

94.  I hate backing up a vehicle.

95.  Always have, probably always will.

96.  It makes me carsick.  Bleh.

97.  I once crashed into our mailbox with the Tahoe.

98.  Ok, that was a lie.

99.  I did it twice.

100.  In the same year.

101.  Well, it just jumped out in front of me when I was pulling up to get the mail!

102.  BOTH TIMES!  HONEST!

103.  We still to this day can’t figure out how our short little mailbox ended up on the hood of our very tall Tahoe.

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104.  Twice.

105.  Guess I am just talented like that.

106.  Sorry Dale.

107.  I really am a good and safe driver.  Really, I am!

108.  I AM!!!!! 

109.  I can never manage to find our house phone when it rings even though we have 3 handsets.

110.  Either that or it rings at the WORST possible moment when 100 other things are occuring….LOUDLY!

111.  But, if you ever need to talk, you can call me.

112.  There will be screaming in the background, and I’ll have to hide in the closet to hear you.

113.  It’ll be awesome.

 Happy day to you and yours….

~T

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12 thoughts on “The Return of Random Things

  1. Oh Tonya!! You have made me laugh out loud reading this!! And I don’t think I’ve stopped nodding my head the whole time. Ditto on the spit baths, and well, pretty much everything! I don’t think I fully understood how ornery you are… remind me to hide my toothbrush from you the next time I smart off to you! ;)

  2. I enjoyed that so much! That was a fantastic list!!! I too believe it’s possible to live without a microwave, we don’t have one of those, or a toaster! But the toaster may be the cheapo in me and I don’t have four kiddos yet, just a 1 1/2 yr old!

  3. Pingback: 4 Little Fergusons: Top 20 «

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