Being A Mom Makes You Say Weird Things…

Being a mom makes you say weird things:

“Of course it stung you; wasps don’t like to be petted.”

“No, no honey, we don’t lick furniture.”

“Sweetie, please get your toe out of your sister’s mouth.”

“Even if someone hugs it out of you, you should say, ‘Excuse me’ after tooting.”

“Shhh! Not so loud.  And don’t point, it’s not polite! Yes, that is a nice drawing on her shoulder, now shhh!”

“No, he doesn’t have a baby in his tummy. Please, I am begging you, talk quietly!”

“Shh, lower your voice. No, her face is not melting. Those are called wrinkles.”

“Well sweetie, sometimes your breath stinks, too.”
“You can’t marry Daddy; I got him first.”
“Don’t eat that, you’ll get worms!”
 “That’s not snow, honey…’s dust.”
Your shirt is not a napkin.”
“No, it’s not a Kleenex either.”
“You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!”
This hurts me more than it hurts you.”
“Your underwear is not a hat.”
“NO YELLING!!!! YOU’LL WAKE THE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 “You’re the oldest, you should know better.”

“No honey, we don’t wipe boogers on the couch.  Go get a Kleenex.”

“Well how would it make you feel if I spit in YOUR water?”

“Don’t put the chips back in the bowl after you’ve licked them.”

{High-pitched baby voice}  “You are a stinky poo-poo boy. Oh yes you are!  You stinky, stinky poopy boy!”

Yeah, I totally said that just yesterday to Paxton.

Don’t judge me.  It made him smile.