Fall On Jesus

  If you read my Broken” post last week, then you know things are tough here right now.  Really, really tough on all sorts of levels. In addition to everything else we are dealing with, we have an issue with the pump on our well, which randomly leaves the entire house waterless (at the most inopportune times of course), a lateral line that is crushed and needs to be dug and replaced so the sinks and showers stop backing up, and to top things off, the Tahoe died no less than 7 times yesterday, again in the most inopportune moments!  I’m seeing $ signs and all I can do is trust that once again, the Lord will provide a pay check in time to take care of this.

Interestingly enough I had a message from an acquaintance that lifted my spirits.  She was an upper classmen when I was at Central.  Here is what she wrote:

Hi Tonya – I am praying for you! I dreamed about you Thursday night and woke up suddenly with a desire to pray. In my dream huge ants were stealing all kinds of stuff from your house, they had overtaken everything and you were powerless against them. I barely know you, but we are sisters in Christ. I just now skimmed through your “Broken” blog entry, and felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to tell you God is even waking up people that barely know you to pray specifically for you.

This is one of two messages I received from people being woke up to pray for me and my family.

Woah. {Chills}

Despite all these bumps in the road, we are still trucking along.  I’d like to thank you all for your outpouring of messages, comments and prayers in response to my Broken post! You are such a blessing to my family & I!

 I feel as if we have spent more of 2011 IN the Refiners Fire than out.  Between continuing the journey through our year financial discipline (read that No regular paychecks yet no bounced checks, praise His name!) and this newest heartbreaking development that I referred to in Broken, the heat is ON!  I know God disciplines those He loves, and that as we experience the pain of the Refiner’s Fire and Him chipping away at the dead weight in our lives, we may cry out “Stop! It’s too much!”….but, in the end, when something new and better emerges, we’ll be thankful; when beauty comes from the ashes, it will all be worth it. 

This “chipping away” at the dead weight, is illustrated beautifully here:

God’s Chisel:  http://skitguys.com/index.php?/videos/item/gods-chisel

  I can’t get it to attach, but please, just take a quick moment and go watch it.  Please?  Then come back, I’ll wait.

  Ready to go on?  Did you find a kleenex to wipe away your tears?  Wasn’t that an INCREDIBLE illustration of what God wants to do in our lives? 

  God is making me His Masterpiece so He can use me to do great things. Little ol’ me.  Woah.

   It’s so disheartening to me, that the Sunshine of Tonya-land is not shining as brightly as it used to. In fact, some days it’s completely hidden by a wall of dark, foreboding rain clouds.  This is not how I choose to live my life, it’s not!  But here I sit, in the rain, miserable at times, as I deal with a circumstance I feel unable to control.  Dealing with several circumstances I AM unable to control, actually….Man, I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another lesson I suppose: Giving Up Control.

  I cling to the hope that you have to first have Rain to see Rainbows, and I have to believe that I will have my “Birds Always Singing, Sun Always Shining, Lemons Come in the Form of Lemonade” Life once again. 

I miss it.  Tonya-land was a really nice place to live.


I don’t know much right now, but I do know this…….

I, Tonya, am a Child of the King. An original masterpiece. This chipping away process has to happen in order for others to see Christ in me.

Sometimes you run towards Christ,
Sometimes you can’t run, so you walk towards Him.
If you can’t walk, you stand, facing the right direction.
If you can’t stand, lean.
Lean on Him, for He IS the right direction.
And if you fall?
Fall on Jesus.
In Him there is hope, life, and the promise of a bright future.

Face down at the feet of my Savior,


18 thoughts on “Fall On Jesus

  1. WOW! How you’re able to process your thinking like you expressed, when you’re under all ‘that’ is incredible! (A quote I often share is…Things grow better where the manure is….but who wants to be under all that huh?) You are so wise to remember that God is making a masterpiece of you…and one day you’ll get back to living in Tonya-Land…that bright and shiny place where it feels good to be. LET GO AND LET GOD is an awesome thought to wrap our hearts around when He’s doing a great work in our lives. Praying for you Dear!

    • Oh sweet Mrs. Baker, you are such a blessing to me! I LOVE your manure analogy, that describes oh-so-well how I am currently feeling. Thank you once again for coming here this morning to pour your love on me and encourage me. Hugs! T

  2. I love the video! I am such a visual learner, so this was great for me. What a wonderful representation of how we need to let God be in control! I envy you this morning Tonya, as you are so much further along in the process than I am.

  3. On Sunday at church, we sang the song “Your Great Name” by Natalie Grant, and I was strongly moved to pray for your family as we were singing. Not sure if you’ve heard it, but it’s beautiful. Here’s the Youtube Link if you’re interested – http://youtu.be/1gbBrlAVm20.

    God is moving many who might not know you personally to pray for your family… I am just one of them.

    He is able.

    • I am weeping now, I don’t know what to say but THANK YOU, Sarrah. Thank you for obeying, thank you for lifting us up. I am so humbled and blessed to serve a God who cares enough to call up prayer warriors all over the nation to pray for us. ~T P.S. This song is amazing!!!!!

  4. Praying for you, sweet friend. And your family. In awe at what God is doing in your life–and what I am confident He is doing behind the scenes, of which we can only see the tiniest glimpses! Love you.

  5. Still praying and thinking of you T.
    I hope it all gets better soon for you. I wish I could do more as an internet friend.
    Keep your chin up.
    Love Julie

  6. Your mama is weeping………..love you so much. I’m so sorry that you are having to go through all this. You know, I am a point that I could throw money at your current ca and water problems and “fix” them, but am praying and trusting God to move mightily in every situation in your lives. Seeing Him work through total strangers proves His awesome Power and Might. He can move mountains on your behalf and He will stop at nothing to see His work done in your lives; All to His Glory!! Amen and Amen!!

  7. Tonya Dear – I came here to leave this link to encourage you…as I read it today, I thought of you and prayed for you. Then….once I got here, I saw your very sweet note to me….I am blessed! Thanks so much for encouraging ME. Read this beautiful article and I know you will be blessed as well. Sending warm hugs to you today! XO

  8. What an amazing example you have been the past couple months….showing me the face of Christ already….well done my friend! Thank you for keeping the Faith….and falling gracefully on Jesus!!!!!!! Love you tons!!!!!!!!!!!!

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