The Dream

Just tuning in? Please start at the Original Post that begins this Series on “Surviving Infidelity”.  It will all make a lot more sense if you do: Shattered Hearts, Broken Promises. 

For those of you all caught up, this is post 2 for today, please go back and read the first post, “Hearing from the Lord”.

 I’d like to share a dream our mentor had.  He has been praying for us faithfully during his late night prayer time.  I am telling you, this man has been invaluable to our healing process, sharing things he hears during that time that are straight from the Lord, meant to soothe our broken hearts.  Personal things that would only make sense to us.  Man, I love that!

This was sent to us via email on July 15th, 5 short days after the secret comes out:

So, I’m not really a ‘horse’ person, but this dream was about horses. I walked into a huge barn, a really clean barn with stalls on both sides for horses… wood on bottom and bars on top… like you see in the movies.. or my dreams.. haha.

  Stapled on the wood of each door was a picture of the horse, his lineage, all the important info, and a PRICE. And going in, the lowest priced horses were first, up to the highest priced ones at the end. So I’m looking at the horses, trying to figure out how they know how to price them. The first ones are way old, sway-backed, ribs showing, bad teeth……and are for sale for a few hundred dollars.

Then the horses got really pretty, and I was admiring them and how HIGH the prices were getting. I got to the next to the last horse, and it was a BEAUTIFUL purebred American quarter horse… (like I know what that is) with this gorgeous white star on its forehead. It was four years old, and didn’t have a blemish on it. The price tag, $25,000.00. I was walking along with the owner of the horses and I remarked to him that I had no idea a horse could be worth that much.

He said, wait till you see the next horse.

So, next stall. It was a really nice looking horse, but not nearly as beautiful as the one right before it, and it was 10 years old. It had a couple deep scars from wounds, I guessed from running into a barbed wire fence or brush, maybe while it was out working cattle. And it had a brand… which I’m not sure if they brand the really good horses, but I’m guessing not. So it wasn’t the best looking horse.

Price tag, $175,000.00 I gasped and asked the old owner what in the WORLD made that last horse so high-priced.

He looked at me like I should have known and said, “Oh, this one’s broke”.

That’s where he ended.  Totally left us hanging!!!!

On Jul 15, 2011, at 11:21 PM, Tonya Ferguson wrote:

Does your dream come with an interpreter? 🙂 Are you calling me a horse? Is saving my marriage like the pricey old horse? Worth far more than a brand new one? Good night, sweet dreams! T

Our mentor wrote:

I thought I’d let you chew on it tonight (I would never call you a horse, nay). I’ll tell you how I interpreted it tomorrow, although I’m sure the dream was from God, I want to be sure my interpretation is from Him too.

July 16th: A Dream Interpreted

The owner of the horses was God.  The last two horses were pictures of your marriage.  The thing that prompted me that this dream was about you was the word you used in your initial email to me… “worth”… something like, “I guess I wasn’t worth it then, and I’m not worth it now”…  I think God is wanting to show you the value or the worth of you and your marriage.

So… value… In the dream, I was ‘pricing’ the horses.  I stared at the pretty $25k horse, admiring its sleek lines… haven’t people admired your marriage from the sidelines?  And the next horse, although not as young, or PRETTY, was valued at $175k…. which is, not coincidentally, SEVEN times the value of the unbroken horse.  I don’t put a lot of emphasis on numbers, but seven is the number of perfection.  I truly believe that tomorrow your marriage will have seven times the value it did yesterday.  Seven speaks of completion.  Omega.  It’s not completed yet, but Alpha is past.  Omega is coming.

Didn’t your first counselor use the words ‘broken’ describing your marriage? As … broken in a bad way?  Sometimes we think broken has a negative connotation.  In the world of horses, if you’re not broken, your value is less.  Brokeness is a precious word to the Lord.  He desires our brokeness.  I don’t see your marriage as ‘broke’ not like Humpty Dumpty was broke, but broke from a shroud of secrecy, broke from lies, broke from infidelity, broke from pride, broke from financial security, broke from the horrible monster of secrecy, a broken vessel before the Lord, needing him now more than ever in every aspect of your lives.

The scars, battle wounds from being in service.  Dale just received a deep scar, and so did you.  They mark you as someone who has been through the fire and has come out on the other side.  I saw two scars in the dream.  I don’t know what that means.  If I were to guess, it would be a scar on each of your hearts.  The valuable horse was a 10-year-old.  How old is your marriage again?

  Unknown to him, our marriage was 9 1/2 years at the time of the dream.  We will celebrate 10 years this May.

  Dale and I had no doubt this dream came direct from the Father Himself, so we clung to it like a lifeline.  Drawing encouragement from the fact that the Lord desires our brokeness. 

Good, because at this moment, we had nothing else to give Him.

~T

Tune in tomorrow, for a post from Dale…

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Hearing From the Lord

 Please start at post 1 of this Series “Surviving Infidelity”: Shattered Hearts, Broken Promises. Everything will make a lot more sense if you do!

Written July 12th, 2011 

  Dale has been staying home with me each day as we cling to each other to draw strength in this ugly time. He did need to go to the office today to do a bit of paperwork before we leave on vacation.  Don’t worry, it’s a different office then the one in which the indiscretion happened, those days are behind us, but it was hard being apart, just 2 short days after the big “truth reveal”.  God is so good to always know what we need. 

Cool story:

Dale went up to his mom’s restaurant today after the office. He is standing there, talking to his mom, when Aunt Lucy walks by.

 “Do you always wear your wedding ring?” she asks.

Dale: “Yes, everyday for 9 years.”

Aunt Lucy: Shrugs shoulders, “Huh.  Well, it just seems to show more today I guess.”

  OH MY WORD, she knows nothing!  The Lord knew I needed to hear that, to have that nugget to cling to.  He knew I needed to know that when satan’s scales fell of Dale’s eyes, his claws let go of Dale’s heart and the ugly veil that had been cast over that wedding ring he wore on his ring finger, HAD BEEN LIFTED as well. 

Praise His name!

July 14th 

I went to my friend Nikki’s site, at Nikki Loves Mike, and the song she had posted made me first gasp, like how did she know? Then BAWL my EYES out, as I listened.

DANCING IN THE MINE FIELDS.

  This song is SO very beautiful and spoke to my heart in a mighty way!  I listened to it no less than 100 times over the past few months!

We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storms
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

Well “I do” are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
‘Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found

So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

‘Cause we bear the light of the Son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear

‘Cause He promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of this chaos baby,
I can dance with you

So let’s go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms

Oh, this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for……

—————————————–

Written September 9th, 2011

Remember this post, “With Cherries On Top”?  Things were just going AWFUL! My marriage was falling apart, we had NO money, everything at our house was breaking, but look at God’s provision through that!  Beauty from Ashes, EVERY TIME!

  This is also close to the time I wrote “Broken” because I felt if I didn’t shed some light on what I was going through, it was as if I was deceiving you.  I knew my blog posts were not my best work, I was trying to maintain “normal” unsuccessfully because of my shattered heart, and after I was prompted to post a version of the truth in Broken, I had peace once again.

  Then, amazing things began to happen……

  Instead of judgment from you, sweet, encouraging comments began pouring in.  Thank you!

  Our counselor told us the Lord would rise up prayer warriors for us, people we didn’t know all over the world would be prompted to pray for us.  And wouldn’t you know, that same week I got 3 emails from 3 girls I either don’t know, or hardly know saying things like this:

Hi Tonya – I am praying for you! I dreamed about you Thursday night and woke up suddenly with a desire to pray. In my dream, huge ants were stealing all kinds of stuff from your house, they had overtaken everything and you were powerless against them. I barely know you, but we are sisters in Christ. I just now skimmed through your “Broken” blog entry, and felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to tell you God is even waking up people that barely know you to pray specifically for you.

  Little did she know, that Satan’s “ants” were destroying my home, both physically as one after another item broke, but emotionally to as he tried to destroy what remained of my marriage.  What love we felt from our Heavenly Father as He brought us “God Thing” after “God Thing”: Things that are too crazy and too perfectly timed to be anything but the His mighty hand at work!

  Every time I opened the Bible, verses were flying out at me left and right, grabbing my soul and giving me strength:

Galatians 6:9 “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

II Corinthians 12:9,10. “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

This one is by far my favorite, and our “Anthem Verse” for this marriage we are fighting so hard for. He gave us this passage back in July, and we have gone back to it constantly, personalizing it and taking promises from it. I LOVE when the Lord speaks through His word and a passage becomes SO personal. 

I know it’s long, but well worth the read:

Isaiah 61: parts of 1-11 {Blue is My interpretation}

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. {This is why we are to share our story!}
2 He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
3 To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. {His promise to us} In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory. {A great oak withstands many a storm because its roots go down deep}
4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins, repairing cities destroyed long ago. They will revive them, though they have been deserted for many generations. {Our marriage WILL be rebuilt even though satan tried to destroy is years ago!}
7 Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. {We can hold our heads proud as we share our story, no robes on shame need to be worn…} You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.
8 “For I, the Lord, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be recognized and honored among the nations. {Our kids will NOT take on the sins of their father, they will walk in freedom from this sin!} Everyone will realize that they are a people the Lord has blessed.” {Christ will be seen through this story}
 10 I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. {I will not always wear the rags of Brokeness and the chains of Unforgiveness}
I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit or a bride with her jewels. {We WILL renew our vows one day, and make a new covenant before God, family & friends!}
11 The Sovereign Lord will show his justice to the nations of the world. Everyone will praise him! His righteousness will be like a garden in early spring, with plants springing up everywhere.” {New growth and new life in Christ is ours!}

I love when the Lord speaks so audibly!  And He hasn’t stopped, even when He was silent to us, He sent us a messenger who said:

 “Even when you can’t feel Him, remember God is moving behind the scenes to prepare you for the next chapter, He will NEVER leave you.”

  It seems during difficult times, the Lord’s voice is more clear than ever.  Probably because I am curled up in HIS arms and HE can whisper in my ear. 

  He began to minister to Dale and I immediately after the truth came out, putting a soothing balm on our open wounds, as He spoke to us via our Daily Devotion book, whose dates matched PERFECTLY with JUST what we needed to hear that day, radio ministries, songs and emails from friends.  All along, asking us to trust Him, to seek Him to let Him have the broken pieces of our lives and marriage……

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

Yes, Lord.  I am still before my God, broken and wanting these pieces of my life to be used for HIS glory…..

~T