So Long For Now……

  A portion of this post from the archives, the rest……

From my Heart.

  As couple after couple, call us, write us or email, pleading with us to help them put together the shattered pieces of their lives and marriage.  To merely be used as a vessel by the Lord, to pour clean water over them and help point them in the right direction, I once again realized we are in a battle…..

A CONSTANT battle to keep our eyes on Jesus.  With satan working overtime throwing things at us left, right, left, right, chucking things under our feet to make us stumble.  Shrieking with glee when he succeeds.

Because BUSY means Burdened Under Satan’s Yoke.

We MUST keep our eyes on Jesus.

We MUST not break our focus for a mere moment.

We MUST not let anything divide our families, our homes, our marriages.

  Our packed calendars rob us of family time, devotion time, prayer time, alone time….

Clear ‘em!!!!

Clear those calendars.

Make date night with your spouse a priority. Don’t just say it, make it happen.

Make family dinner a non-negotiable.

Family dinner

Nothing is more important than family.

No job more important then pointing your kids towards Jesus.


  We MUST not let Social Media rob us of conversations during home time….

Leave the cell phone on the charger in the laundry room when you walk in the door; the texts can wait, Facebook can wait.  We MUST not let TV and Computer, iPhones and ipads steal precious playtime moments…leave them off until nap/bedtime if you have young children. 

  Don’t answer the phone during dinner, if its important, they’ll leave you a message and you can call them afterwards. Show your kids with your actions, just how important dinner time is.  Spend that time VISITING about the day, not staring at the TV.  Our family loves to do “Good, Bad and Blessing” going around the table and each family member shares their good, bad and blessing from the day….try it! You may just love it.

  Help your kids make good choices about how many “extra” activities they can be a part of.  What happened to the days of letting kids be KIDS?
Just playing. Imagining. Exploring. Sending them out to play and ride bikes until porch lights came on and our moms called us home for dinner.

  Remember, for EVERY activity you chose to enroll your kids in, you are taking from the “Family Pie” of time together time.  There are only so many pieces to go around before you are left with crumbs.

   Sacrifices are made each and every time we say YES to something else.  We are raising a generation of busy kids, who in turn will become adults that need to be “busy” because they’ve never learned to just relax, stay home and be still.  

    And let’s not forget the love of our life, and the time we must spend with them.  Sit with your husband or wife for at minimum of THIRTY MINUTES of face to face time each evening.  Face to face, not staring at the tv together, looking at each other.  Surely your favorite show, or email inbox can wait?! 

Who is to be our number one human priority as directed by God’s word? 

Our spouse. 


Show them!  Use that face to face time to learn something about them that you didn’t know 24 hours ago.  Look them in the eyes and remember all the reasons you fell in love with them.  Do this and watch your marriage blossom and grow.  Set a stinkin’ timer if you have to. 


  Wherever you are, be ALL there.  I am not preaching to you, I am preaching to ME! We all need to evaluate how our time is being spent!!!!!!!

Cause guess what satan says?

Every time you are not talking to your kids…..


 Every time you are not working towards growing with your spouse,


When you are too busy?


I seek to destroy your marriage and family. I hate it and I hate you.  It would be my pleasure to use your lack of time together for harm, for evil, as a tool to ultimately destroy your lives.

When we don’t chose God every moment of every day, we automatically default to satan.

Think about that for a moment……pretty tough to swallow, isn’t it? 

  I don’t want to default to satan ever.   I seem to spend a lot of my time fighting off his attacks on my home and marriage, while balancing a really full calendar full of photography appointments, upcoming blogs I need to write, projects I said I’d be a part of, things I need to get accomplished around my home.  It all just feels like too much.  Like I have been doing a balancing act for too long, unsuccessfully.

Friends, I need a break. 

  Somewhere along the last year of fighting for my marriage and maintaining “regular life”, I have lost my focus.  I feel as if I have missed an entire year with my family while I was hurting, healing, seeking, sharing and forgiving.  The last year can not be viewed as a loss, it’s can’t…..

For it SAVED us. Praise His name!

  I am not sure what to say except, I need to cut back somewhere, and one of the places is the blog.  It takes my last piece of the “Family Pie” and I only have crumbs to offer the ones I love most. I am also cutting back in other areas, including how many photography appointments I take every week, as the editing process takes much time from family, too.

  As an overly busy summer draws to a close, I need time to be Mommy, playing on the floor in the living room or out jumping on the trampoline. I need time to be Wife, relaxing on the couch next to her husband, unwinding after a long day. I need time to do something for me, like curl up with a Christian novel during nap time, on a couch I haven’t sat on regularly in MONTHS. 

Mostly, I just need to BE STILL.

That’s what it really all boils down to, isn’t it?

Being still. 

Tylan came up to my desk the other day during nap time:

“Mommy’s are busy, aren’t they?”

Yes buddy, Mommy’s have a lot of jobs to do!

“You’re a mommy that takes pictures now too, aren’t you?”


“You write your blog……”

I do!  {Now, I am wondering now, where he is going with this…….}


Yes, buddy.

“I miss when you were just my mom.”

Oh honey bear, I am so so very sorry.

  I am taking 3 weeks off of blogging to think, pray, evaluate how my time can be best spent, and mostly……

To be still. 

I will miss you, friends, but I’ll be back soon, check back with me around Labor Day. 
It’s time this Momma shows her family where her priorities are…….



This post shared at

MercyINK Heart & Home

37 thoughts on “So Long For Now……

  1. Tonya, I am soad that you will be gone,but I am SO happy that you are going to be working on your family. It is one of the most important things in life. I totally agree that we need to turn of all our gadgets! They take up way more time then we should be putting into them! That is why I don’t have e-mail and really try and limit my time on the internet! If I don’t I spend to much time here and not enough time at home.
    I hope that you enjoy every minute with your family! They deserve you more then we do!:)
    Sending you hugs!

  2. Whewie! Oh Mommy…those few little words from Ty’s mouth were definitely heart-grabbing huh?!! You have exhausted yourself in a number of ways, and I think you are VERY wise to take a break. We, your readers and admirers, will somehow! survive without you =(, but know you will be missed Big Time. Thanks for these reminders of keeping the main thing the main thing in our lives. You are a precious blessing! Enjoy time off. Praying you will come back refreshed and renewed after some well-deserved time with your precious family. (I’m already missing you!!!!!!!!) Luvs, Hugz & Prayers…XO

  3. That’s wonderful Tonya! I can totally relate to you and I am glad you are taking the time to evaluate and spend time being still. Blessings on your time away!

  4. Good for you Tonya! I will miss your families smiling faces in my in-box every morning. Go play with your family, we will all still be here when you’re ready.

  5. Oh my sweet T….I don’t often write on here my deep intimate thoughts for all to read…but God nudges-I will obey! I read this…NOT knowing you were writing this….and tears flood my eyes. I am SO proud of you! I see the lives and hearts you’ve touched through your blog and the impact you have had on thousands-giving all glory to your King-He has got to be proud. And now for making a “tough call” -WOW! Sometimes I beleive when we take time to “be still”…we are able to realize how much or little we appreciate and need things. For instance, our health-when it is gone, MAN….don’t we appreciate it?!? Or our husbands when they go away on a business trip or small weekend away, BOY OH BOY don’t we miss them?!? I know that your followers will miss you, and you them, but I trust that God will use this time FOR HIS BLESSINGS TO OVERFLOW! So open your floodgates and be prepared! T- my dearest friend…my heart is able to love deeper and greater because of you! I know that your Father is just grinning and whispering into your ear…”WEll Done my precious princess…WELL DONE!”
    ~Love YOU!!!

  6. I do know how to spell believe…see above coreection….believe..:) Proof-reading is for after 8am-LOL!!!!

  7. As much as I will miss reading at 7 a.m. while getting everyone ready for school…I am proud of you! I have been working on getting the courage to stay off facebook for a week, probably by deactivating my account!

    have a great 3 weeks

  8. Yes, kids in their innocence can just break your heart and put things in perspective. My sons both crawled up in my lap one day and my oldest, who was about 3 at the time, said “Don’t do the internet, mommy.” I wasn’t at that time, and I expected a silly answer, so I said, “Why not?” He said, “Because, you have 2 little boys.” Stopped me in my tracks. I do have 2 little boys, that are way more important than growing a blog, even if it is a ministry.

    Blessings to you, Tonya, as you seek to take some time off and regroup, and focus on your family. I pray that God will bless your family greatly!

  9. Blessings to you as you place your greatest ministry first……your family. I will pray for you……that you find a balance that does not rob your precious family of you……and that all you do honors God, your husband and your children.<3

  10. I just found your blog this past weekend. I wish you stillness. Being a Mom is sometimes like going through the buffet line at a restaurant. We tend to overload our plate with too much junk and over look the healthy stuff. Empty your plate and fill it with good, healthy things. Those sweet little face will grow up much too soon and your house will be filled with quietness. There are no “do overs”. Time cannot be reclaimed. So, go love your family. You will not regret it. I’m sure the devil is fuming this morning with your decision! But God is not and neither is your family!

  11. Dear Tonya-I can so identify with how you must have felt when sweet Tylan spoke those simple words! Once a long time ago when the boys were small, I thought I needed to add part-time caterer to my career along with elementary school teacher. So beside all the normal time it takes to be a full-time teacher, I began staying up past midnight working and being gone on weekends to catering jobs. Slowly I noticed a huge change in the boys, and finally one day my oldest broke down in tears when I tried to get him to tell me what was going on and he said “You are never here any more-I just want my mom again!” And that was the end of the catering for this girl. Sometimes it’s just hard to see what is going on from the inside, and it takes stepping outside to get the full picture. While I will certainly miss seeing posts from you each morning, I congratulate you on being able to step outside and take some time to reevaluate. Hopefully your friends will continue to see glimpses of you and your sweet family on Facebook? Love you lots!

  12. Yay for you! Family is the most important part of our lives and yes, being a Mommy and Wife are priorities. I’m older and I know how fleeting the time is with our kids…and now grandkids. You cannot go back and have do-overs…so make this time the best ever! I applaud you ~


  13. May God continue to bless you and your family richly according to his riches and glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen. You will be missed here but it’s much better for you to be missed here, than by your precious children. Love and many hugs, Trixie

  14. Tonya, I’ve commented on your posts before as my husband and I share a similar story to you and Dale. Sharing your story has been such an encouragement to me. I’m proud of you for taking a tep back to take care of yourself and your family. I had to do the same – quitting my part time job of child are in our home so that I could take care of myself and my family and fully heal. It’s been over a year for us as well and it’s a daily fight for our marriage as you said. I am confident God will direct your paths as you seek to bring him glory. Bless you!

  15. Tonya, your decision sounds wise! Rest, be still, enjoy your family! I’m glad you have the fortitude so say “no” to something you are so good at (and probably love) like blogging. But I guarantee it’s the right decision!
    I’m learning about saying ‘no’ as the birth of our daughter approaches in October and I really want to cut back and rest before that change hits us.

  16. I’ll missing reading you daily however family is VERY important and you are one busy Mommy. I’ll be back here around Labor Day to read again!!

  17. Tonya- Good for you! I ‘ve come to know you these past few months thru the blog. Still not sure how I even “found “it but was definitely God! Hurray for your new commitment- I know God takes us thru seasons- sometimes to openly share and pour ourselves out to others for His glory, but also times where we need to be soaking up, resting and taking in. Praying for you all & I’m confident God knows just what you need. Good for you to keep priorities straight. I’m always relieved when I see moms reign in the time spent on outside stuff. I don’t even spend much time reading blogs but this post is an all-time award winner!!
    Your story has been so very encouraging to me- a balm at a difficult time. Praising God with you at the victory. Never waver in your stand or desire & vision for/ to your kids for their future relationships. Our story is so very similar to yours, but unfortunately after 20 years, my husband chose a different path & priorities. My kids & I are seeking God for His plan for our family now and I am still in the fight to not allow Satan any more victories here. I’m thankful I have few regrets as to what my priorities have been & I’m continuing in the fight for the souls of my children, the future of our family, and their relationships! God’s way is best & we should never be ashamed for claiming that! I know some moms have time & resources to share outside, but God graciously reminds me that I don’t at this season! There’s just no room for us as moms to get distracted & let down our guard- I feel as tho the enemy IS crouching at the back door waiting to get in. Thank you for your transparency & allowing us to see victory and be encouraged by your life. Wish I could meet you in person & give you a hug, but will always feel as tho I know you thru your sharing and will pray for you as God brings you to mind 🙂 Keep up
    the good fight, seek His best for your family and fight for what you have. To Him be all glory & praise! Love & hugs to you & yours

  18. Good for you and your family! “Be still, and know that I am God!” It is so hard to “sit still and listen.” But it is always amazing what happens when we do! I wish nothing but blessings for you and your family!

  19. I have just stumbled onto your blog and I appreciate it so much! Prayers for you and your family as you petition Jesus for wisdom!

  20. So beautiful and well said and tough and heartwrenching all at the same time. You’ve got me in tears, new bloggy friend! As a blogging, business owner of 3, I identify with every word. It’s so refreshing to see you stepping back to be still and be mom. God will honor that time. You’ve encouraged and challenged my heart today. Whenever you’re back in blogworld, I’d love for you to take a moment to link up this (& any other heartfelt post) to the weekly (heart)&(home) link up at I know how desperately I needed your words, and how much other mamas do too.


    • Your Facebook comment made me curious, so here I am! 🙂 Thanks for this lovely comment. I have had fun reading your blog this afternoon during nap time and have added you to my favorites bar. Blessings to you as you continue to shine for Jesus through your blog, I have linked up a couple of my favorites. Thanks for the invite!
      Hugs, T

  21. Your testimony is bringing healing to me and what you wrote here nudges my heart. I choose to live with and love an emotionally abusive husband (my blog is about this) and your story has offered me hope and newthings to pray about. Thank you!

  22. You wrote exactly what I’ve been fighting with for the past year since I first began my blog. I feel stretched to the max and my family suffers for it. I have been struggling with whether or not to continue blogging along with other obligations or if there’s another way to make it all work. Thank you for sharing what’s on your heart. I’ll pray for you as you figure all of this out. I’m right there with you.

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