Pancakes for Papa

  We had a busy, but productive weekend with church events, Essential oil classes, and a Pancake Feed for Papa…..


  The church Dale grew up in, the one Papa still attends, is so incredible! When they have things to volunteer for, sometimes there are so many helpers, they literally have to stand around, because there is more people than work.  That says a lot about the size of their hearts, I think.

  My favorite part, is how they rally around each other in times of tragedy like this, a Family Unit for sure.  They dedicated half the proceeds of the Pancake Feed to go to Papa’s medical expenses, the other half to a family in need. 


  We have been so blessed by the meals they are bringing, and the many phone calls.  They are concerned about Don, and we are blessed they check in.

  It is both a difficulty and a privilege, to be his care givers at this time.  To go to his appointments with him, to make phone calls on his behalf seeking new alternatives, to dine with him each evening.  To glance around the table when Papa rushes to the bathroom mid-meal to vomit, reassuring the kids that he will be right back, that his tummy sometimes gets upset from the cancer in his body.  To go ahead and start the kids on supper, while Papa quietly sobs in the living room, because he can’t get out of the chair for 10 minutes, due to partial paralysis that comes and goes. 


  We will need to take him to the store, the doctor, and church now, as he will no longer be driving.  It’s just not safe.

  Dale drives him home for bedtime, as the walk from our back door to his front door is too much for him. In fact, he can hardly manage his front steps anymore.  We are so very thankful God allowed him to move next door almost 2 years ago now.  He knew what we needed before we did.

  Papa will need to quit his job and go on disability after 40 years in the business. 

It takes 90 days to start drawing disability.  And the reality is, we may not have that kind of time.

 This fundraiser could not have come at a more perfect time.  At last count, they raised $6,000!!!! And they are still selling Sausage.  You guys, that is a HUGE answer to prayer!!!!  


   It’s hard to watch such an energetic, hunter, fisher, helper to all, be completely reliant on others.  I can’t fathom emotionally, how this all is for him, Mr. Independent himself! 

  The tears come more often now, this from a man who Dale has never seen cry.  We tell Papa that it’s good for him.  Good for his soul, his healing, and the Creator Himself bottles them up in Heaven.  They are meaningful to our Father in Heaven.


We planned his funeral service last week, we laughed, we cried.  Taking notes as he picked pal bearers and special hymns, camo wear and caskets.

  We have gone to the Annual Pancake Feed as long as I can remember.  I just had no idea we’d ever watch Papa be the recipient of the proceeds from 2 of them.

  Sitting around the table over Pancakes, Biscuits & Gravy, the best whole Hog Sausage you’ve ever tasted, and some Orange Juice, I found checking on him.  Seeing how he was interacting with people, watching people watch him, concern knitting their brow.


  We all know our time with him is drawing to a close.

  And we all feel completely helpless.

  Helpless, but not hopeless.


  In Christ, we are never without hope.  We know Papa gets a new body in a Paradise far beyond our wildest imaginations, more amazing than our earthly bodies and brains could even handle.

  And so I sang, Sunday morning, with arms stretched high…..




  We are sweetly broken at the foot of the Cross that saved our Papa from eternal damnation, the same cross that eases our sorrow, with promises of eternity. 

  We wholly surrendered his healing to a Father, who has had his days numbered from the time he took his first breath, knowing exactly how many moments on Earth he was to have. 

  How many days he needed to be a blessing to others, and example for Christ, and the hands and feet of Jesus.  He has been all those things, to many, many people…….

  So now we wait, we hold our breath and take each day as it comes.  We are tentatively planning things for Spring and Summer, anticipating some time at the lake, hoping to see the grandkids fish with their Papa at least once when the warmer weather comes.  

Wholly surrendered,



20 thoughts on “Pancakes for Papa

  1. Wow! I am always amazed at the Love of Christ shown thru his children. It is always a blessing when those times come and you are unaware that people care so much for you! Sounds like you are all being well cared for in this hard time. You are in my prayers all throughout the day! Send you BIG {{hugs}} and my love.

  2. I am sure you have already thought of this, but just checking to see if you have Hospice care in your community — from things I have heard it is incredibly helpful. Prayers for your family.

    • Yes! We have a couple wonderful hospice choices. The problem is, Dale’s dad is only 60, so he doesn’t qualify for medicare. I don’t know how expensive Hospice is. Anyhow, just thinking out loud, we are calling today. Thank you so much!

      • He may qualify for Medicaid you should look into it. When my mom was going through treatment they had a case manager available to help navigate these types of things. Also contact American Cancer Society to see what they can help you with and above all take care of yourself it is especially draining on the caregivers–

  3. Feeling your grief along with you, but also feeling your joy as you experience the hope we have through Jesus, our Lord. Wish I was there to give you gentle hugs. Papa sounds like quite the wonderful guy. ❤

  4. Tonya and Family, I have to tell you that as I read your blog concerning Papa Don today my heart was hanging on every word. God has given you a glorious gift in sharing His peace with the powerful words you have written, and He will provide the strength for all of you to get through this. How sweet to see the care shown by Papa Don’s church family in his fight against this disease that has affected so many of us. Music helped my family and myself to remember God’s blessing through this difficult time when it happened with my Mom and Dad, and those lyrics you shared ring in my head even now after reading them. (Love my contemporary Christian music.) Remember Philippians 4:4-7, and 4:13. Put it in His hands because He cares for all of you. Lifting you and yours in prayer.

  5. Really enjoy your blog, giving you strength and prayers as im 31 years old and just finished chemotherapy,, im not sure in the area you live in has it but most hospital offer charity care that covers all medicall expenses for cancer treatment as that is what I had to do

  6. Tonya,

    I am brought to tears by your words of hope. I knew Don well for many years while growing up at Maranatha and I can attest to his character. He was always kind to me and as far back as I can remember, always had a smile on his face. He is blessed to have a family that supports him and cares for him during this difficult time. Tell him I said hello and that we have offered many prayers to our Heavenly Father on his behalf…and will continue to do so.

    Dave Depew

  7. Hospice might be covered under your father-in-law’s medical insurance through his employer. Just a thought. I’m sure you and Dale have thoroughly checked this out.

  8. What a beautiful and powerful post Tonya! To know of the strength God gives in this earthly journey is such a blessing and is incredible to witness it ‘live’ in people like you and your family. How wonderful he has such an awesome support system. I know you are all making the best of each day, making such sweet memories, and to know that no matter what, Papa will be completely healed. Sweet Blessings and Prayers to each of you. XO

  9. Continue to plan! I completely feel every moment of your journey as my Dad lived to be 100. His final years were very difficult, but at last, he is being rewarded for all of his pain and suffering! My prayers are for your family and for strength!

  10. So touching Tonya! Can’t tell you how much I appreciate the care for Don I see you all are providing. The emphasis is “spot on” too…there is no sorrow in heaven and the comfort of knowing Him who made heaven possible makes it possible to face the toughest life has to offer here. God bless you for training little prayer warriors, too…your influence is far-reaching. Many prayers for your family…one of the cousins.

  11. Hospice is just a conversation, a representative can come and talk privately with you about options. People wait too long to get hospice services, and they provide so much care. My Mom was on hospice for a year. Best experience…

  12. Tonya, Dale and family
    Your generosity and kindness will be reward,Thank You
    As I read this I had so many thoughts and memories run though my mind. When I was a younger man(20) now I’m (50) remembering all the times spent with Don,what a blessing and great example of a humble ,kind, thoughtful, generous ,caring,god fearing ,so many words that explain him, slow to anger if ever. Don you are and always have been a great example of what we are to be.. I send out prayers for your physical comfort and mental comfort as you go though this phase of your life, wish I could come and see you ,but the miles divide us. I look forward to seeing you again someday.. .. Thanks for being a great friend ,God Bless

  13. Pingback: There Is A Hospital Bed In My Living Room | 4 little Fergusons

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