{Embrace} Infidelity: A Guest Post At Marathon Mom

  Writing from my heart at Marathon Mom today, our monthly theme was Embrace.

The hardest thing I have had to “Embrace”?


Not just embrace it, but accept into my arms as a part of my love story.  Not just to survive it, but thrive in SPITE of it.

  I will never stop talking about what God did in my marriage. 

  People hate that.  They do.  They think it means I haven’t moved on.  That I haven’t forgiven Dale.  That I keep running back to the past and throwing it in his face.


  If you think that is my purpose of talking about our story, then you are totally missing the point.

Talking about our struggles only points the way to a God who uses our brokenness.  

To stop talking, is to stop pointing a hurting world, to HIM. 

Do you know the triumph of coming face to face with the devil, and instead of cowering, spitting in that stupid jerks face?

  Do you see the beauty of kicking aside the heap of rubble, of a dream he destroyed, and finding a still firm foundation of Christ Jesus underneath it all?

  Do you know the Victory of defeating a plan the devil himself dreamed up to end your marriage and destroy your family?

I do.

You better believe I was shaking in my boots.  That my fight or flight reaction screamed, “FLIGHT, FLIGHT! Run away, start over, lick your wounds in the darkness, no one can know this awful truth…..”

I am proud to say we made it.  That FIGHT won out over flight.

And now?

Is that it is our privilege and honor to shout to the World:

With Christ we cannot be defeated!!!!!!

    We wear our story, our “War Wounds”, our marriage limp, as a badge of honor.
A symbol of Victory, glimmering and shining for all the World to see that in Christ, all things are possible.

  “Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.” Rick Warren

Come see me!


Your most effective ministry, 4 little fergusons (2)

“Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.”
Rick Warren


9 thoughts on “{Embrace} Infidelity: A Guest Post At Marathon Mom

  1. Tonya, Thank you so much for being the encouragement that I needed to show me that it IS possible to save your marriage and to not just walk away from it! Ray and I were just talking the other day about all that we have been thru and I am so glad that I chose to forgive and not leave. What does that teach this world? Esp. now that marriage is so on the line right now!
    I am soo glad that you choose to fight! I am so glad that I did too!!!:)

  2. Sweet Tonya, please don’t ever stop sharing your story. (I admire your strength and courage) It DOES bring Hope so many hurting people. Your story brings Hope that comes from Him! Thank you friend!! Love, maryann

  3. Amen, amen, amen! You are so right to proclaim this victory to all and everyone that is willing to listen. Wisdom beyond your years. Feeling so blessed to have become part of your awesome journey. Even if only through your blog. Thank you Tonya. Continuing to pray for the most recent tough part of your families journey.

  4. Tonya
    Please don’t stop sharing, I’ve had similar struggles in my marriage and I was ready to walk away. Then you shared your story, at the same time several other Christian women shared theirs. I decided to stay..we are still fighting, but I want victory!
    Please keep sharing we all need to hear how God restores not destroys marriage!

  5. Tonya, your wisdom and guidance has helped me so much! Please always continue sharing your story!! God is using you!

  6. I found your blog as I was searching for ideas for our vow renewal (this Saturday – very excited). We too have had a long year of God’s healing and forgiveness – he has set my husband free of the bondage he has been in for nearly his whole life. Thank you for this post. In some ways, I want this chapter closed and I want to just move on and move past, but I see that God is honored when we can tell others of what he has done. Your story has encouraged me GREATLY! Thanks for being so open, honest, and candid about your journey.

I adore hearing from you, comment away! :)

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