I quit last night.
Walked out the back door and quit. I am tired of bodily fluids and dirty laundry, I am tired of listening to barfing sounds at the table, in the middle of family dinner….and I am TIRED of being tired.
So I quit.
This job is too hard. This life is too messy.
Does the Lord really think I need to handle all this? Doesn’t fighting SO HARD for my marriage 2 years ago, give me some kind of “easy button”, even it for a season?
I feel like I want to wave the white flag in surrender.
Then as I stand out back, shaking, biting back tears, deep breathing so I don’t vomit too, I realize…………..
That is what He wants anyways,
His power is made perfect in my weakness. When I am weak, He can be shown STRONG.
Papa is so kind, so gracious, he doesn’t choose this life either. He hates this part as much as I do, no, I bet even MORE than I do! I can give him my all, even when I want to run away.
Don’t you love how Christ shows up most in the chaos and MESS of our lives?
We all live a tale of Glorious Ruins in one way or another, which was the Theme of our Ash Wednesday Service this year.
Here is the video they shared and the verses that were read. Dale and I were so honored to be a part from home. They played the first half of the video, the negative brokenness then stopped. At the end of the service, they shared the glorious part of the story, the miracle, the victory. It was hugely powerful, and you could hear people beginning to weep. God is good!
There is so much power in “real” testimony. You know, “real” like people you see every Sunday, smiling and happy, you would never guess they suffered great hardship. Then, they share their Hard Truths, they tell the story of the ugly ruins of their lives and suddenly…….God is more Glorified than before.
BROKENNESS OF THE WORLD AROUND US
Psalm 94:3-7 “How long, O Lord? How long will the wicked be allowed to gloat? How long will they speak with arrogance? How long will these evil people boast? They crush your people, Lord, hurting those you claim as your own. They kill widows and foreigners and murder orphans. “The Lord isn’t looking,” they say, “and besides, the God of Israel doesn’t care.”
BROKENNESS OF OUR BODIES
Gen 2:15-17 “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
Romans 5:12 “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.”
BROKENESS OF OUR CHOICES
Isaiah 53:6 “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Romans 7:18-20 “And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.”
BUT BROKENNESS DOESN’T WIN……Hallelujah!
1 Corinthians 15:22 “For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive.”
Psalm 103:1-4 “Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.”
Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”