What IS A Boy?

  Oh you know, Snips and Snails and Puppy dog tails……

  And let’s not forget boogers, toots, mud and slugs too.  Winking smile

  You know, it absolutely boggles my mind at times, the kind of World we are raising our kids in.  Like, just when I think it can’t get any more crazy, it does!  I actually feel sorry for all of us parents, trying to hash through this life, helping our children process through it.

  I have noticed one thing of late, that there are a number of Christian mommy’s fearing their child’s choices in toys and colors.  Like, “Oh no, he keeps choosing the pink marker. I don’t want him to be gay or something.” Or, “Why will she only play with trucks and dirt? She is a girl and needs to act that way!” 

  Rest assured, those tendencies are totally normal.  It happened when I was a kid, for sure.  And poor little Dale, totally survived with his manhood in tact, even though his sister put makeup on him.  It sure didn’t alter the course of his life or mine.

  It happens all the time at our house with 2 boys and 2 girls.  They go back and forth between all being Super Ninja Warriors, and all dressing up in different characters, like THIS:IMG_5010

  Do I need to fear Paxton wants to be a girl just because he plays dress up? 

  Of course not!  I simply tell him how adorable he is as a make believe girl, but how glad I am God made him my special boy.

  The way we handle these kind of situations speaks volumes to our children.  Right after I posted this picture on facebook for giggles, I read this blog post by Matt Walsh about a 5 year old girl, who at age 2, declared she was a boy. 

  Instead of letting it be a passing play game, the parents continued to promote it, until now at age 5, she is a “boy”.  You can go read more below.

  Matt Walsh is an in your face, blunt as they come Christian, and thousands of people are lining up to read what he has to say. God is moving in big ways on his blog, and I would love for you to go read what he wrote about this.  

Click on the title, it will open in a new window, read it, then come on back:

”This Poor Child Is Confused, Not Transgendered”

This was one of my favorite parts:

You know what they could have done? When their two-year-old daughter called herself a boy, they could have responded with one simple question: “what is a boy?”

If you cannot define it then you certainly can’t decide that you should be it. I guarantee that neither two-year-old Ryland nor five-year-old Ryland could even begin to answer that question. Being an innocent child, she’d probably say something about boys being people who wear jeans and who like to play with toy trucks.

I also liked this from the comments section.

From Ann:

My 5-year-old son recently informed me that he was going to marry his younger sister. As a parent, I have choices about what I do with statements like that. I can: A) ignore it, B) explain that we don’t marry our siblings, or C) indulge it and go completely overboard and help him pick out a ring for my daughter and start letting them wear wedding clothes and help them set up house together and pretend that 5-year-olds are completely capable of making decisions that will affect the rest of their lives, then broadcast my “incest tolerance and awareness” video on YouTube and be famous.

  The world tells us sex is determined by body parts, but GENDER is determined by the heart of the individual, and who they think they are. 

  Well, in my opinion, we were all carefully knit in our mother’s womb with a gender and a sex that line up.  Our Creator doesn’t make mistakes in His creations, He doesn’t wonder how which parts got put on which person.  We know sin comes from powers of this dark World, it is the ruler of darkness, not the Creator of Life, that puts those opposing feelings inside a person.

  When God created man and woman, He gave them puzzle piece anatomy for a reason, and after that, He assigned different roles to each.  

  If the Garden of Eve included a man and a man who thought he was a woman, life as we know it would have never come to be.  There would be no procreation, none!  

  You can comment all you want on free rights and that is fine. You are welcome to your opinions, as I am welcome to share mine here on this little place I call my blog.  But let me also tell you this, if we are calling ourselves Christians, then we have to live up to the standards God has placed in our instruction book for life, The Bible.  To tell the lost about it, about HIM.  He is talking to us in His Word, giving instructions for life to His flock, His chosen people, and quite frankly, He is painstaking clear. 

Romans 1:26-27 says,

“That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.”

1 Corinthians 7:2

2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Notice it doesn’t say his own or her own partner of choice? Nope, man and wife, plain as day.

 I cannot fathom that we are to fall all over ourselves to be politically correct, to accept everyone in a “judge not” culture, I mean, what has the church become?  Mute?

judge not bible

 Go read what I Corinthians 5 & 6 say about judgement.  

  What about 6:9: “Don’t fool yourselves.  Those who indulge in sexual sin, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers and swindlers, none of these will have a share in the Kingdom of God.”

 But there is good news if you read on,
  “There was a time when some of you were just like that, but now your sins have been washed away, and you have seen set apart of God. You have been made right with God because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.”  

  Praise God for grace, forgiveness and second and third chances, for overcoming all kinds of wordly, flesh based problems that stem from our sin nature.  

  We are followers of Christ, we are to be Christ-like in all we say and do.  And let me tell you, He sure didn’t tip toe around trying to be pleasing to everyone in His speech.  He stepped on a LOT of toes! The forgiveness of Christ does not mean we must bow to the ways of all things from all people.

  “In John 8, a woman is caught in the act of adultery and brought before Jesus. The Savior did not condemn her… but he also didn’t condone what she did either. He loved her and He forgave her, but He also meant what He said when He told her to “go and sin no more.”

“The forgiveness of Christ should not be misinterpreted for acceptance.”
{Quote by Greg Trimble}

  I think we are to be elbow to elbow with all types of people, I think we are to love everyone.  We can show them Jesus in our smiles and kinds words, in our treatment of them and their families, after all, isn’t the goal for them to want what you have?  To recognize that God shaped hole in their hearts? On judgement day, their blood is on our shoulders, if we don’t tell them the truth of Christ and His guidelines for our lives.

John 13:34-35

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

    We are to LOVE them to Jesus, but it never says we aren’t to share the Gospel Truth with them, just in case it steps on their toes, or hurts their feelings.  We are told to go and make disciples of all nations. It’s not a private or quiet faith, because love demands action, love stands strong on truth! Love takes no pleasure in the wrongdoings of others, and it delights in what is right. We cannot be silent when we know the TRUTH!  Because don’t you see, the TRUTH will set them free!!!!!

   No, we can’t force anyone to change, only by the moving of the Holy Spirit will that occur.  But how will they ever have a chance at truth, if all the Christians continue to stand mute.

A day of Judgement IS coming, make no mistake, and we WILL be responsible for those we didn’t share the Truth with.  We are not given the luxury of sitting quietly, while misdirected people flock toward darkness. Faith without works is dead!!!!  

  Contrary to popular belief, we can even love those around us, all without accepting their lifestyle as right in God’s eyes.  We also can do so without falling all over ourselves trying to please them, be politically correct, and answering to demands for equality; all the while silencing our desire to share God’s Word with them.

   I love how I am called Judgmental for saying I don’t agree with this lifestyle, yet these opposing groups are given free rights to disregard any respect for my belief system.  And all without the same cry of “Judgemental” in return.  But if we turn the tables, are we not being judged for speaking our beliefs in return?

  “If Christ were walking the earth today preaching the same things He was preaching back in His day, people would be flying off the handle. He’d teach hard things. Draw a line in the sand. Tell people He loves them. Ask them to repent. Maybe even get mad and turn over some tables. (Matt 21:12-13)

  Then they’d call Him a bigot. Self-righteous. Un-accepting of others and their way of life. They would “go away” and start their own form of religion like so many of them did while he was preaching in Israel. The question you have to ask yourself is the same question He asked His apostles. “Will ye also go away”? (John 6:67)

 “We should be “loving and compassionate” but we should never allow ourselves to believe that Christ just accepts us how we are. That was never in the program. He’s always asked us to change, to repent, to get better, and to overcome the things that we struggle with. When we quit trying to align our wills with God, and start trying to get God to align His will with ours…that is when we start to lose our way.
Many people are taking the equality and fairness argument to the extreme, assuming that Jesus is accepting of everyone and everything. It’s just not true according to the scriptures…”

Greg Trimble

   The same could be said for Sin within our own lives, within our own hearts.  God does not have a grading scale system for sin.  The sin of a lie, is the same as a sin of murder, or a sin of sexual promiscuity outside of marriage, no matter our sexual orientation……all of it separates us from our Father in Heaven.
All of us need to repent some area of our lives, so that we can be freed from the bondage of that sinful choice.  


So what IS a boy?
  A Godly man in training, a dreamer, a chef, a firefighter, a singer, a dancer, a future daddy, a hunter, a gentlemen.  

  We can allow our children to enjoy fun and creative play, without making it into an identity crisis.

  As we close today,  let’s keep in mind that we plant seeds in all we say and do with our kids, the way we react to them and their ideas. They are a product of their environment, and they will be known by their fruits.  How we choose to speak to them, and help them grow in those ways, has a huge impact.

  That being said, how about you go ahead and buy your little boy that stroller and a doll, and tell him what a good Daddy he is going to be one day.  Get your little girl that Hot Wheels petal car and tell her to give Nascar’s Danika Patrick a run for her money one day.

I promise, it’s all going to be ok……


Read more about this topic at The Matt Walsh blog:

The Child is Confused, Not Transgendered: Part 1 and Part 2.

“I think it’s time we ask that question: ‘What would Jesus do?’And I think it’s time we answer it truthfully: Jesus would flip tables and yell. Maybe we ought to follow suit.”

Jesus Didn’t Care about Being Nice Or Tolerant And Neither Should You


15 thoughts on “What IS A Boy?

  1. I love that you even addressed this topic. I can’t agree with you more!! I hope that this post will shine a light on people that are not as accepting and open minded.

  2. While I agree with a good deal of what you have written here, I still think that it all comes down to parenting your specific child and knowing your child and what they need better than anyone else in the world. There are countless stories of children who feel like they are in the wrong body who have hurt themselves or tried to kill themselves. These are children between five and 10 years old. I think that when it’s coming down to things like that it’s time to take a deeper look at some of this. I think we could all agree that at that point it goes beyond a child playing pretend and it’s not going to be fixed by us guiding them in their playtime. I wholeheartedly agree with what you are saying about Jesus and being knit together and your mothers womb, but after working with children in the mental health field for a number of years, there are other components to consider. Actual chemical imbalances can cause a person to feel more gender identity leaning toward one way or the other. A little more testosterone or a little more estrogen can really change the course of how you feel inside and that’s not something a kid might be pretending. I think it’s our job as parents to know our children and know when they are crossing these lines and know when it’s time to do something to help them or seek out a more professional opinion. You can tell a child with a chemical imbalance all day long what they are and what they are not, but if you are unwilling to look into getting them help because you think that’s indulging in some fantasy, you will do them more harm. No questions asked. And then as they go through life they will know that ‘mom doesn’t understand me, mom doesn’t listen to me, mom doesn’t take my feelings seriously’. I think like in so many things in the parenting realm, this just comes down to knowing your child and following your gut. You will know if your child is expressing appropriate pretend play or whether something a little more serious is going on. We have to trust our gut though and not feel like talking to a professional about this is going against God’s will or is indulging our child to the point of confusion. There are very simple things a child psychologist can do in play therapy to assess what is going on with the child, in a way that the child will not even know why they are there or that they are doing anything other than playing with a new friend. And sometimes blood tests need to be done to monitor these brain chemicals that can very easily get out of whack, especially with all the environmental junk and junk in our food that our children are exposed to these days that they weren’t once upon a time. I love Jesus, and I believe in the biblical truth you have stated, but I just wanted to throw in my two cents and be a voice for these children; some of whom have legitimate mental health issues, and nobody to speak up for them. There are other sides of the coin, things aren’t always as black-and-white as we would like them to be, and I have to trust if it was your kid or my kid, we would give it the consideration it deserves and we would know our child well enough to know whether this is fun pretend play that needs a light hand of guidance, or something a little more serious that our child might need help waiting through. My morning thoughts, for what they’re worth 😉

    • YES! I so appreciate this perspective! I would hope, as mothers, that if we continued to watch our child grow up beyond imagination play and still struggle with identity, that we would not be too prideful to seek help. Both Christian counseling to point them to a God that loves them so much, and medical/natural treatments for hormone imbalance. Which, you are right….with today’s compromised meat and nutrient dead food sources, is no surprise is on the rise. I would imagine the sooner this is caught, the better the results.
      Thanks for sharing your heart this morning! Love this comment

  3. Most excellent post, Tonya! I know it took a lot of guts to hit that publish button but I can just see God beaming with joy and saying, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I have struggled with processing all the accusations that come from the left; accusations of intolerance and hate and worse. I have had to question my very soul and seek the Lord on this issue diligently. I have found, like you, that we serve a God who is uncompromising and faithful, and that we are to follow Him and all His ways. Keep up the wonderful work, friend. Thanks for sharing your heart.

  4. Thought-provoking, as always. I tend to roll with an “each to their own” kind of attitude mostly but I think that this is absolutely ridiculous. Madness! I think a transgender lifestyle would be hard enough without having it forced upon you as a child. Imagine when this child grows up….. what if “he” comes to the realisation that he’s actually a “she”; will reverting to the birth gender mean he’s still transgender? I got confused just thinking about that then! And let’s take a moment to consider the physical ramifications of this decision – what are they going to do when puberty rears it’s ugly head? Will they stop the natural female changes, and encourage (force?) the child to continue down the male path? What if he changes his mind then? There’ll be a whole lot of natural development that has been sidestepped.

    Once upon a time, a child such as this would simply have been called “a bit of a tomboy” and that would be it. At what point do we view this as child abuse? A form of Munchausen’s??

    Hmmm….. looks like I have quite an opinion on this! Lol

    Meanwhile, as I was reading your post, I got to the picture of Paxton at the end and as I was scrolling thought “how cute, Pax is being a fireman”….. then I saw his choice of footwear and totally spat my Coke everywhere! He totally rocked the blonde wig though 😉


  5. AWESOME post! LOVE that you’re courageous enough to address these ‘sensitive’ issues and give parents the Truth of the Word to stand on. May God continue to bless and use you in big ways to direct others to the Word and The Savior.

  6. You go girl! Love this, and love when people such as you and Matt are not afraid to speak the truth. This made my day. I’m always sharing Matts blog and rarely get any comments. There is way too much fear over this subject. So proud of you. Keep up the good work. Blessing always!

  7. Fan-TASTIC post!! Thank you so much for sharing. We live in a fallen world and many people would rather conform than to take a stand. Really enjoyed reading this today.

  8. We are living in a time when it is not safe to speak your mind as a Christian so congratulations on giving a shout out for God and that He is the one who has decided who we are. May other Christians feel the same courage to stand up for the scriptures and realize we can’t follow God and make everyone else happy.

I adore hearing from you, comment away! :)

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