About Me

Hi there, I’m Tonya.
  I am a mid-west mom of 4, 3 of those munchkins arriving 3 years in a row.

I was pregnant 8 times in our first 8 years of marriage, so you can imagine
that th
e words spoken most often at my house are……

Hello”, “Goodbye” and “I’m Pregnant.” 

I guess if I was being truthful, you’d also hear the words:
I said No!” and “I need FIRST time obedience” as well.

All this, set to the backdrop of , “It’s MIIIIINE“.   

I have a 3 and 4 year old, what do you expect?  🙂         

Being a stay at home mom is wonderful, but really, does the phone have to ring the same time the baby is crying, the toddlers are fighting, I am changing the 2nd poopy diaper in 10 minutes (deja’ poo), the pot on the stove is boiling over, someone is knocking on the door,  AND the dog is barking?!

This blog is a peek into my life….. I am addicted to photos of my kids, new recipes and I love to “talk shop” with other mommas.  I am into natural remedies, limiting TV time to promote reading, “Slow obedience is NO obedience”, and making all those little moments count. 

 So here I am, is anyone out there listening to me??????

Find us on facebook and join the fun!!!!


115 thoughts on “About Me

    • Aww! Thanks Kate! After getting pregnant 3 years in a row, I was ready for something “different”….boudoir maternity session it was! I am glad to have a new reader. 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to stop in and peek in my world. ~T

  1. I would love to send you a personal e-mail about how God spoke to me last week, and how reading your blog sealed the deal for me.

    • Thanks Brandy! I am so glad you stopped over!!!! I am your newest follower, adding you to my favorites tab even. 🙂 I have a feeling your site will be dangerous to my ever growing pile of “To Try” recipes, last count? Over 250 print offs.

  2. I just discovered your blog via The Country Cook. Your kids are adorable. I had 3 kids under 4 at one time, so have some idea of how hectic it can be. Enjoy them, cherish them while they are young. Tims flies by faster than you can blink. I am now a grandma of an amazingly boistrous almost 2 year old little boy who is learning to say “tank ooo” (thank you) and gat gog (hot dog). Look forward to reading your blog and trying some of your recipes.


  3. Hi Tonya
    I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now (referred by my sister kate/buckwheat)
    and i just wanted to say that i really appreciate how open and honest you are about all things financial. kate and i grew up in a household where anything financial was taboo to talk about, especially in public. It’s a hard thing to get over and reading other people’s experiences (like yours) is a huge help in our growth!

    • Thanks, Anna! I was unsure what the response would be to me sharing about our year of financial discipline, but it was very freeing to write it and thankfully, well recieved! Isn’t it funny some of the things parents choose as “taboo”? Oh well, just something you can choose to do differently with your little ones! I just love Kate to pieces, great to hear from you….T

  4. I only found your blog yesterday, but have been absolutely taken with your wonderful and honest writing about you family and the lovely photos. You have true talent! I believe the Lord led me through my random searches to your story and I will continue to follow and be encouraged by it. Just wondering if there is an easy way to go to the beginning and work my way forward? I would love to go through the whole blog that way. I can identify with you in so many ways, even though I am older, especially in your love of cooking and trying new recipes. I thought I was the only one who has stacks and stacks of recipes to try-LOL! I look forward to reading more-God bless you and your special family.

  5. Tonya,

    I feel really silly this morning! First of all, I didn’t mean to sign in yesterday as “Anonymous”-yes that is my comment just above. And after exploring the blog a bit more I found the drop-down box on the right that let me go all the way back to the beginning posts of 2010. I have since read completely through and am now “in love” with your little family! Hope to see more posts soon. You are such an inspiration!

    • Don’t feel silly! As I wrote you back, I was really contemplating how to make it easier for my readers to go clear back to blog beginnings, but sounds like you figured it out for me! I forgot about the archives drop down! LOL 🙂

  6. Pingback: 2011 in review «

  7. Beautiful family. Ohio girl myself. Moved here to south Florida after living in the mid west 40 years. Nice to meet you Tonya. I found you on fb. Look forward to your posts.

    Sherri @ The Kitchen Prescription

  8. Tonya,
    Love a women who knows what she likes and is not afraid to speak her mind! Your blog is delightful, your family is beautiful and I love that when I clicked on ‘marriage’ God’s word was splashed all over…love it!! Regards (from a non native southern peach) Michelle

  9. I discovered you and you sound like me with the “slow obedience”. Thanks for sharing the quirky life of being a mom. I look forward to many more stories:)

  10. I just found your blog and i am now a subscriber! i have had 7 pregnancies (4 children and 3 miscarriages) in 8 years, so i know where you’re coming from! i surrently have 4 children under 6 and a 13 year old!

  11. I just stumbled across your blog from a link on one of my favourite bloggers (Life as a Lofthouse) and after looking around your page, I have a feeling you’re blog will make it under my ‘favourite’ category rather quick! 😉 Being a young mom, I love talking ‘kids’ and FOOD! So keep up the wonderful job you’re doing. And thanks for sharing your little part of the world with us 🙂

  12. hi there l<3veee your pic:s of the kids and u with ur belly!! im a mother of 3 and realy want a 4th trying to talk my husband into it but dont want to push him i know deep down he dose realy want another but dont think he wants one right now as our youngest is not
    1 yet … me on the other hand love having the kids close .. we have a 6 1/2 year old a 2 1/2 year old and an almost 1 year old 😉 love my kids there my everything i live for them so y not 🙂 would there be anything u could tell me befor we both make that choice i know in my heart im not done and im a beliver in the lord so what ever he has planed for us i think will happen…? xx

  13. Pingback: Recipe Review! « Steph's Blessings

  14. Hello my friend! How are you? You have been on my mind these past few days. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I would ask that you please lift hubby and I up in yours. We could use them right now! :/

  15. Hey, I was at the Encounter in July when you shared. I dont know why but I am trying to set up a facebook page for all the ladies that go to the Encounter. Without sharing a whole lot of detail over your blog I was wondering if you could help me? Im not sure if this is a God thing that he had me stumble onto your page or not but here I am. If you have the time or any interest please email me 🙂 God bless!

  16. Just had to say…Love the “deja poo”!!! couldnt relate more at this moment in time! So funny! Wonderful family Tonya, may God continue to bless you guys!

  17. I LOVE your photos!! We are needing Christmas family photos ( My hubby, and two boys, and I ) and I’m sooo picky that it has been hard to find the perfect photographer…until we found your site!! 🙂 Do you still have time/able to do a family photo shoot for Christmas?

  18. I am reading here in the Netherlands (Holland). I was trying to find inspiration on whether to go for number 4 or not. We have little boy of 7, little girls of 5 and 2. However my husband has just clarified his feelings and doesn’t want any more children. He wants to give the 3 we have his all. I see his point of view but I still feel there is one baby waiting in those clouds waiting to come down, and now won’t. I will read your blogs to remind me of what might have been… thank you. Your blog is very beautiful to read.

  19. I’m confused and don’t know where to ask a cooking question so I will ask here. Saw your recipe on Pioneer Woman’s site today–the beans and ground beef Western beans thing. When you add all the different beans do you rinse and drain them first or just add the whole can the way they are?
    Sal’s Girl

    • Hi, Sal’s Girl! You know, the original recipe did NOT say to drain and rinse, so I didn’t either. It made me cringe, but in the end it all tasted so good I figured it didn’t hurt anything to add the ‘juice’. 🙂

  20. Pingback: Super Sweet Bloggers Award | Mama Miyuki Easy Pantsy

  21. Holy cow! I think I might be a new, rabid fan. You have four kids? You feel overwhelmed? You can disagree with people and still have a civil discourse about your opinion? You vacationed in Branson MO? I grew up there! Me, too – all over the place! Okay, we’re not the same – but you and I could seriously get along.

  22. Tonya, I was just reading your random blog post( love them by the way and think you NEED to do another!) and came past the one where you said you grew up Mennonite!? Wow! What a small world. My hubby was in and out of that growing up and his older brother still is! My mom so wanted to be and my Dad wanted nothing of it! It has a been a crazy life!:) I did think when I read your phone etiquette post that your maiden named that way! Oh well, I just thought I would share that random thought of mine with you! Ok?! well, I guess that is it for now!:)
    Love and Hugs,
    P.S. I am realizing that I need to proof read my comments to you before I post them. I have noticed that I push the "post comment" button a little to fast and have spelled things totally wrong! Ahhh! Oh well.:)

  23. Hello our names are Darin and Amanda. We just had a healthy beautiful baby boy . Breastfeeding is not viable for us and we decided to make our own formula. When the drs heard about it at the hospital they became very rude and refused to do circumsion or provide pediatric care. We would love any information you could provide us concerning this. We are currently still at the hospital and will be released Mar 23. Thank you for your reply, sincerely Darin and Amanda. ps Hutchinson Ks is our home.

  24. Hi!! So nice to “meet” you. I was sent here by Marsha from The Better Baker. She suggested your blog to me and I’m so glad she did! I am wife of 8 years and have four children (7yr, 5yr, 4yr, and 2yr). I’m a full time stay at home mommy during the day and nights and weekends I’m a professional wedding and portrait photographer. In my “free time” I blog about Faith, Family Food and CraFts over at http://www.artistic31mama.com. I’m a new follower and am soooo looking forward to reading more of your posts!! Have a great week!

    • Welcome, Faith! Oh how I love Mrs. B! Sounds like you and I have a lot in common. Except I am no pro photographer, just an aspiring hobbyist! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and leaving such great comments, I will be sure to come visit you soon.
      Hugs, T

  25. Hi Tonya! Fantastic blog, I came across it recently and have been really enjoying reading through! Looks like you and your family have a ton of fun together!
    I don’t suppose you would be interested in sharing this over at Glipho? We’re a new social blogging site with an active, creative community of bloggers, many of whom are stay at home parents themselves- I know they would love to read through your adventures here! If you get a minute, perhaps you could take a quick visit to http://glipho.com and see what you think. You can import posts from here to Glipho too, it’s quite easy and won’t affect your existing blog at all! It’s simply a new way to share your stories with a fun community.

    Thanks for your time, and for the entertaining blog! I look forward to reading more!

    All the best,


  26. Hi, I could not help but comment on what I have just read on you front page about having 4 children. It was fantastic, inspirational, brilliant and brought more than one tear to my eye. We are battling with the decision to have our 4th and I think you just made it easier. I absolutely loved every word and well done for putting such a lovely spin on big families which is sometimes frowned upon. It’s very sad that one of the reasons I am dubeous about having a 4th is through fear of what people will say. I wish everyone had lovely kind inspiring words like you x good luck with your beautiful family x x

  27. Good Morning Tonya, in all reality it could be way past morning. I love your blog! I have been here quite a while today. My name is Jodi Stephens and I am a Compassion Entrepreneur for Trades of Hope. https://www.facebook.com/JodiStephensTradesOfHope see? This is not a sales call by any means, but we do have a promotion going on… win a free scarf and you as the blog owner would receive one also. This is so out side of my comfort zone to do this sort of thing but this company pulls at my heart strings. I hope you come to look and if you would like to do the promotion thing with me please get a hold of me 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your personal life here, i really is refreshing and lovely!

    Jodi Stephens

  28. Hi there, I’m an editor with NBC News, and I’m working a story about surviving infidelity, tied to, of course, Anthony Weiner’s latest shenanigans. Today, people seem to be talking about his wife, Huma — asking, why would she stay? I’m hoping to find a few people, women especially, who have had something similar happen to them and can explain why they chose to stay, even when their friends and family might not understand. (Poor Huma has an entire nation of that.) You have such a lovely way with words – I would love to include you in the piece. If you’re interested and available for a chat on the phone this afternoon, please email me at melissa[dot]dahl[at]nbcuni[dot]com.

    Thanks very much.

  29. Hi Tonya,
    I just found your blog in a roundabout way through another food blogger. I absolutely LOVE that you are so bold about your faith. I, too, am a bold believer and just wanted to encourage you in your mission. Are you by any chance related to the Ferguson Family (the Ferguson Five, Jonathan & Adrienne) who are missionaries in Kenya? They are part of our church in Huntington Beach, California. Anyway, just wanted to say “Hi” and I love what I see here!
    CC in the OC

  30. Thanks to a blog link on Pioneer Woman, I found your blog, and it is so refreshing to read! I knew I had to comment when I read your recent post about “evil”. We don’t have cable TV in our home because of that very reason, and I applaud you for standing up against the onslaught of evil programmed right into our homes! I also have a blog where I share just things going on in our daily lives. It is a great way to share with others the things that the Lord has done in our life.

    Blessings to you and your sweet, amazing family!

  31. Hi !

    My name is Eric and I work at CafePress—the world’s premier customization engine that allows its users to create and design unique custom products. We found your blog online and we love your site! We are looking for bloggers such as yourself and I wanted to see if you’d be interested in having us sponsor a free product for yourself or your viewers.

    Would you be interested in reviewing one of our custom or personalized products? If not, we have a ton of different products ranging from clothing for adults and children, home accessories, decor, drinkware, to sports memorobillia, stationary and bedding. I’m sure with the wide amount of products we have, there will be surely be something that you could incorporate to your blog to further engage your site’s audience.

    If you are interested, please let me know! You can take a look at our products on http://www.cafepress.com to see if there are any products or samples that you are interested in. We look forward to working with you to review and share our products with your readers.

    Looking forward to your response,

    Eric Kao
    Community Outreach

    CafePress Inc.
    The World’s Customization Engine
    CafePress Facebook

  32. Hi Tonya,

    I have been following your blog for quite some time, and recently became a new mom myself. I was wondering if you could do a post about how you grocery shop/budget your meals/ plan your weekly meals? This has been the hardest thing for me! Any suggestions?


  33. Tonya,

    I’m not even sure where to start… I stumbled upon your blog via another blog that I found on Pinterest. I was actually in search of some Christian parenting advice for my two year old son. Well, I ended up getting that any so much more. It wasn’t long before I saw your “surviving infidelity” tab. Unfortunately, this is a sensitive subject for me so it caught my eye. I read about ya’lls story with tears rolling down my face, not because I know your pain but, because I know your husbands, and i know the shame that he feels.
    I married my husband at age 19… 2 months after our honeymoon, I destroyed it. It got involved in a relationship with a very bad man and let it go on for about a month until my husband found out. Thankfully, not long after that I figured out that i have a God that loves and desires me no matter how big of a piece of slime i think I am. I gave my life to the Lord, about a year later my husband gave his life to the Lord and we now have our beautiful little boy that I spoke of earlier. God used this horrible, disgusting mistake and turned it into a wonderful, grace filled family that seeks nothing more than praising Him.
    It is an ongoing struggle for me but we just had our 4th anniversary and I can say with full confidence that I have been forgiven by God and my husband. We plan to renew ou vows and have a true Chist centered ceremony. Thank you for sharing this. Please pray that we would find the courage to share our story.

    God Bless,
    Ashley Burnett

    • Thank you for sharing this with me! Satan loves nothing more then to remind you of the filthy robes and ashes you once wore for your sin, but once you asked forgiveness you were made white as snow. Don’t let satan throw the past up in your face! A past that the Lord holds no record of, for by the blood of Jesus, your transgressions have vanished. Poof. Gone forever.
      When satan whispers in your ear about your past….you remind him of his future….cast into a lake of fire to burn for all eternity! In the name of Jesus, bind those attacks, outloud if you have to, and walk in FREEDOM!
      Proud of you, praising God for your new marriage and beautiful son!!! God is a God of second chances, you are FREE!
      Hugs, T

      • Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.♥I balled reading that. Sometimes I think I have fully forgiven myself but then at times like these I realize I haven’t and wonder of I ever will. It makes it even harder, I think, because when you hear of stories such as these most of the time its the man being unfaithful. So being a woman in this, it makes me feel like no other women will be able to relate and that they will be disgusted by me. But I know that just satin… You are a precious, precious woman. You better believe I’ll be reading your blog and praying for your family!

  34. Hey your Pinterest button for all your boards isn’t working. How can I get on your Pinterest site to follow? Also, do you have a twitter button to follow on twitter without just the individual recipes?

  35. Hi — I’d be interested in learning more about your work, and perhaps seeing how we may benefit from connecting. Your blog is elegant, heartfelt, and honest 🙂

    Our organization provides free, confidential, one-to-one telephone peer counseling to women healing from infidelity; our trained peer counselors are women who themselves have survived infidelity, regardless of whether their marriages ended or mended. I too have “been through it” and survived, essentially healed.

    Laura Steuer
    Founder & Executive Director
    Infidelity Counseling Network
    A 501(c)3 organization, federal tax exempt #602135040

    counseling line (650) 521-5897 ext 101

  36. Hi there, I stumbled upon your blog while looking for a chili recipe, and was immediately struck by the elegance of your site’s design and appearance. It only took me a bit longer to notice your astronomical views and number of “Likes”. I hate to ask this because I can imagine how busy you are, but would it be possible for you to visit my blog, quickly take a look around, and give me a few pointers to increase traffic? Like you, I feel that I have something important to share through my writing, and I’m just humble enough to recognize that I’m likely doing something “wrong”. Thanks so much, and great work on this blog!

    • Aw, thank you! Everything looks great! Your pages are clean and without clutter. Adding a facebook page helped me to grow a lot. Otherwise, just keep writing and sharing on social media, they will come! 🙂

      • Sorry things are rough! God is so faithful and I know He will show up in the midst of your struggles in big ways! We went through a HORRIBLE year, into the potters fire to be tested over and over…I blogged it here in a 3 part series that I hope can bring you encouragement in your current trial. Florida is a great place to be and I know God has big plans, just keep seeking, step by step!

      • The ironic part about it is this: I ASKED for this. Sort of. I prayed a ‘terrifying’ prayer Francis Chan preached about and started listening to God’s call in my life (here’s the link to my post:


        So here we are, the money running out, self-esteem dropping daily, the butt of rumors and jokes within the extended family, and I am forced to face the truth: I asked God to make me come on fire for Him. And really, how else is He supposed to do that except by helping me realize He really is my All in All. LOL…sometimes it’s all I can do not to laugh at myself. Ah well, I suppose I should start following your blog since He brought me there via a chili recipe. 🙂

      • Once God empties you of YOU, He can began to fill you up with HIM. I am super excited for your church launch, and while I don’t think you are going to get beat up, you are about to embark on a journey of uncharted territory! If they throw you out, shake the dust of your sandels and try, try again. Blessings friend! Welcome to 4 little Fergusons, and I hope you like the Chili! 🙂

  37. Hello! I found your blog while searching for a trifle that includes blueberries and “something yellow” to use as the dessert for a bridal shower for my niece. So I’m gonna be serving your white chocolate lemon blueberry trifle! I don’t have time today to explore your site as much as I want, but I’ll be back.

  38. Tonya, I stumbled upon your wonderful blog while searching for recipes. I started reading your blog and your journey with infidelity in your life. I must tell you, what a strong person you are. Not everyone could share what you have and still are going through regarding this chapter in your life. I went through something almost similar but the other woman was one (I thought) of our best friends. There is more to our story that could not continue my faith in my ex husband . You are a strong good woman and I pray that your strength and God’s guidance will keep you strong. I love your blog and hope that others will find strength and help through your journey. Thank you Tonya, thank you for being so open .

  39. Tonya,
    I came across your blog through a post you did through Grain Mill Wagon. I have had a chance to look through your archives a bit and just wanted to say thank you for being obedient to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to use you! I haven’t been able to read through the whole of your past posts, but felt a correlation with you and your family from a few different aspects from looking though your blog.

    Number one, how God used Encounter to set your husband free from the bondage of past sin/shame/secrets/regrets, etc. Encounters are such an amazing ministry and I know because we (my husband and I and church family) have attended and since been very involved in hosting and serving at Men’s and Women’s Encounters over the past few years. There really isn’t another ministry that I know of quite like them. It isn’t too often that people know what they are unless they have a connection of some sort to them.

    I, too, am a mom of 4 awesome kids. I was once a city girl, now living in the country, raising my family. Of course we have chickens as well. 🙂 I love food and love Jesus and am having fun on this relatively new blogging journey I’ve been on for the past couple of years. It is a good outlet for me.

    I look forward to following your posts and being able to connect in this blogging world.

    God bless you and your family!

    Shelley @ http://www.foodandword.com

    • Eeek, I LOVE this! I have NEVER met someone who knew what Men and Women’s Encounters were about. And your life and mine line up so closely it’s unbelievable! I adore meeting new people via the blog world, and I can’t wait to come hang out on your site too, sounds like we are soul sisters. 😉 Blessings, welcome to 4 little Fergusons and thanks for the great comment….. T

  40. I saw your post about the iPhone Mom. GREAT post! It saddens me to see a family out to dinner (or doing other outings) and they are all on their electronics. Same with adults out together and everyone looking at their phone. I do my best not to do it, but can’t say I never do it. Technology is great, but it also has changed the personal touch on things. I will be back to read more of your blog and recipes, but just wanted to say how much I’ve enjoyed what I saw tonight.

  41. discovered your blog while looking for a recipe for potato soup to make for my family. As a Ferguson myself, I have been doing a lot of searching for our family. Born in West Virginia. My wife of 56+ years have lived in Central Florida for all of our married life. She is a warrior and has stood by me for all these years through many illnesses and ran our business while I was recovering from several surgeries. Now, I am supporting her through her recurring battle of breast cancer. If you do not mind, I wonder which brand of the Ferguson family you are from. I love your site and as an old newspaper photographer and reporter, I love your skills. May God continue to bless and love you. –pwf

  42. First off, you have a great blog. I’ve been reading it for quite some time now. I was curious about something in the child rearing section though. In our family, we’re not ones to spare the rod with our 2 sons. I’m curious on the method of how it’s done in your family. Do you have a special place in the house? Does the child have to bend over your lap? Is it done with the pants on our off? How many swats are typically given? Feel free to email me your response if you think your answers would cause too much controversy here at your blog.


    • Great question! We try to help them succeed first, set them up to make the right choice.
      Like this, “I need first time obedience! Everyone listen up, please go clean up the play room.” Or “Come here, please.”
      If no one responds, I try again. “I need you to obey me with a cheerful heart and a Yes, mom! Let’s try again, COME HERE PLEASE.”

      Most of they time they all come, but if they ignore that warning, they would be removed to their room for a meeting and a spank.

      If they are throwing a fit and out of control, we don’t try to talk them down, but instead will take them to their room to settle down without verbal warning. Often in those situations, they are soft and ready to listen, after the discipline. Almost like a reset button on their attitude.

      To do this, we send them to their room, and have them wait for us. Swats are given over the knee, pants on, 3 swats. I hit my own leg first to test the strength of my spoon on their bottoms. We do not leave the room until we have hugged, comforted, prayed together and prepared for the apologies that need to happen once they leave the room.
      More on this here: https://4littlefergusons.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/the-rod/

      The beauty of this, is we hardly ever ever have to spank anymore, because they know the cause and effects our home and they know it doesn’t change. Consistancy is key! We really enjoy our kids and home life, because Dale and I don’t feel like I have to yell and threaten and count to 3 to get obedience.

      • Thank you for that wonderful response. You have a beautiful family, and your parenting methods obviously show through that. We parent much the same way as you. Though instead of a spoon, we find that a glue stick (like one for a hot glue gun) works much the same way. It’s flexible enough that I don’t worry about seriously hurting my kids.

        You raised a good point though. As the kids get older (ours are 5 & 8), we find spanking becoming more and more rare. I would still day it happens about 1x a year for each child. I guess instilling those values on them when they were younger had turned then into the wonderful kids they are today where discipline like that rarely needs to happen.

        When was the last time you had to use spanking on each of your kids? Years ago? Has it been longer for the older kids vs the younger kids?

      • Thank you for your kind words! Glue stick is a great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        The older 2 it has been quite some time, longer than I can recall. We transitioned to more of a consequence based punishment system when Destiny turned 9 then stopped spanking all together when she turned 10, and Tylan is just a soft hearted pleaser, so he hasn’t ever needed much more than a stern word to get him in line.
        The little 2 are still getting a spanks more regularly for disobedience. But they are getting it! Most of the time, I just silently get out the wooden spoon and set it on the counter, and the behavior changes.
        We also choose to take away allowance money, or a privilege like we do the big kids. Even though the big kids didn’t have those same options when they were the little ones ages, we find that as we introduce new discipline/reward systems for the bigs, the littles are interested, so they start the same things, younger.
        It’s interesting how parenting changes when you have a wide spread of ages to raise! 🙂

    • Oh Alli, I read through your posts. I am so sorry you are going through this, and I am so proud you are choosing to confess, see you fall on Jesus and dig into His word, as you walk a hard path. I pray your husband can find forgiveness and seek the same restoration you are running for. That he will see that divorce doesn’t have to be the answer!
      I wish he would come read some of the posts here, to find truth in them and understanding, hope, healing and the freedom to come from forgiving, from setting a captive free, not realizing all along, the captive is US, the one being asked to forgive.
      Our Surviving Infidelity series is long, but it literally walks through from the start of a hard season, to the beginnings of the “Behold, I make all things new” part. We are 2 years out, almost 3, and things only get better as you move through the layers of healing and wholeness. You love deeper, harder and appreciate more when you almost lose the one you love most.
      Be sure to read “Prodigal Spouse” and “An Even If Faith” as you choose marriage over divorce with each decision you make. Also, please keep me posted on you. I am praying for a miracle. Hugs, T

      • Thank you for your words, Tonya. The divorce was finalized two days ago. I am trying to find my breath. Laying amidst a million shattered pieces. Digging deep to place my trust in God when I can’t formulate a prayer.

      • Don’t ever stop believing, forgiving yourself daily, and praying for your husbands heart to be changed. God doesn’t let a little thing like divorce stop Him from moving, but just know, even if your husband continues to chose the road the world tells him he is owed, you will be greatly rewarded for obeying and trying to do the hard right thing in restoring this marriage. We are here on earth for but a fleeting moment compared to our eternity.
        When we fall, we fall on Jesus, and He pours over us love, mercy, joy, understanding, peace, patience…The Fruits of the Spirit are a gift, and God is no indian giver. Hold true to His promises…..no need to pray, the Bible tells us the Holy Spirit translated our groans of anguish to a Father who bottles up all our tears in Heaven.

  43. Hi Mrs. Tonya! I know you don’t know me but somehow I managed to stumble upon your blog about waiting until marriage to have sex and I was so pleased and relieved to FINALLY read something that encouraged it! The Lord laid it on my heart to tell you so i thought It might be a good idea to do so 😉 I was wondering if you had an email address that I could reach you at because I had a couple of questions for you! If not it’s okay 🙂 worth a shot tho!

  44. Hello from England, UK.
    Just came across your blog and have already read many of your posts. Thank you for being transparent and allowing God to use you. I’m currently going through a lot after my partner cheated on me for the past year, I’ve chosen to forgive him but the trust is gone and I don’t feel like he’s doing enough for it to be rebuilt. We are not married and have a young daughter who is going to be 2 in July. So he started his affair before she even turned 1. We are both Christians but live in different cities, 120 miles apart but have been together for 4 years. He has his own issues of which he is having counselling for, but his life still remains closed to me, I’m blocked on all his social media and he isn’t being very patient in my healing process. Says he is working on being more patient, empathetic and open. However in my broken place that’s not helping me. Your blogs are helping me as right now, 6 weeks after finding out, yes he was caught after she told me publicly on one of my instagram pictures of us together, I feel like I’m dodging depression or a large dark cloud. Between working full time and looking after my young daughter and home by myself it doesnt leave a lot of energy or time for myself.
    I’m reading your blog and now following the facebook page. Anyway, I was only wanting to leave a ‘thank you’ comment! 🙂

  45. I just stumbled across your blog on Pinterest. Thank you for sharing your journey of surviving infidelity. I’m 6 months out from revelation of my husbands 8 month affair and we are struggling to reconcile. He is repentant and trying very hard to change, but I am having such a difficult time overcoming the betrayal, the negative thoughts and the disgust at what he did. We have 3 beautiful boys (I was pregnant with the 3rd) when the affair began) and I really want to make this work for them but I also do not want to raise 3 cheating men. I know that God is calling me to stay in this marriage, but it is do unbelievably difficult. How do you get over the hurt and the thoughts and the betrayal? It just seems to consume me.

    • We went to an incredible counselor that helped me step by step close the door on the horror movie that played in my mind. At first thought I would say outloud to satan, NO. You have no control over my thoughts. Leave in the name of Jesus. I would fix my thoughts on what is good and noble and right and pure. I would out on praise music and just fill my home and my temple with the Lords presence.
      I know you will get there! Listen, its the hardest road you have ever walked, but its WORTH IT. 4 years later, we are so healed and happy, that its as if it never even happened. I promise. Give it all to Jesus, every moment of every day. Forgive and forgive and forgive again. Open your heart and allow the Father to make you new. You will trust your husband again, it just takes time.

  46. Hi there,

    I found your blog after one of my friends shared it with me on Facebook and wanted to run a few things by you. I’m working on a home education project, and I think it’s something you could definitely relate to. Let me know if you have a moment to discuss.



  47. Hi Tonya ,

    I’m the Community Manager with Anagram Interactive, where we specialize in connecting established brands with prominent bloggers. We have partnered with Paperless Post for a recent campaign and think you would be a great fit for the service.

    We have seen your blog and admire your sense of style and your fashion know-how. You have thoughtful and engaging posts that make us want to come back for more. We were impressed with your knowledge of brands and your natural ability to create one-of-a-kind looks and would like to work with you for our Paperless Post campaign.

    We would like to offer you 2000 digital Coins (a $200 value!) for free to try out Paperless Post’s innovative online service and write about your experience. Paperless Post’s Coins can be used for any digital invitations or digital cards on paperlesspost.com.

    Paperless Post helps design custom online and paper stationery to reflect your personal style. The company has collaborated with decorated designers and lifestyle brands like Kate Spade New York, Oscar de la Renta, Jonathan Adler and many more.

    Paperless Post has successfully delivered over 85 million cards to date and we want to give you the opportunity to test it out. If you’re interested in this opportunity please let me know and we can show you how to get started.

    We look forward to hearing from you!
    Please write me at helen@anagraminteractive.com

I adore hearing from you, comment away! :)

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