Waiting for Paradise

We went to Hospice House for dinner Friday to be together as a family.  Out of respect for Grandpa, I am not going to share images of him, just the family around him, holding his hands and just murmering their love and affirmation of a life well lived.

It’s so hard to see someone you love slowly, painfully die.

Not really here, but not gone to Paradise either.

His head tilts back as he lays in bed, his eyes open and shut, but do not see.  His breathing raspy, gurgling actually.  He doesn’t talk much anymore, except….except on Wednesday, when I lifted the children up, one by one to kiss his forehead and say hi in his ear, his breathing changed, excited breaths followed by an exhaled HIIIIIII.  Oh so faint, so soft we almost missed it.  Again tonight, he said it to us except we were blessed to hear his whispered voice three times Hi, Hi, Hi….

{Instant tears}

 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

—2 Corinthians 4:16–18

A brave Papa fighting cancer, an oh so special Great Grandpa in Hospice, an adopted, and well loved “Gramma” Esther in another state, also in hospice waiting for Jesus to take her home, dying of the same cancer our Papa is fighting so hard against….so many loved ones on their way to Jesus.  And it’s my job to comfort my little ones, and answer their questions with accuracy and honesty.  In simple, but real terms to bring comfort in the truth of death.

But isn’t it funny, how sometimes THEY bring comfort to us, with their innocent understanding of life, death and a new life in Heaven.

  Avery is so excited for Grandpa to have new “bendy legs”. His old childhood injury, a smashed ankle turned rod in the leg, has given him a lifetime of pain.  She knew new legs would be a special part of his Heavenly body.  Paxton was most excited that he’d “Wun wiff Jesus!” {run with Jesus} The older two, quietly taking it all in, their thoughts kept quiet as they prepare to say good-bye to a Grandpa who was a big part of their lives and weekly routine.

   But we know, good bye is never really good bye, not when you have the hope of Jesus.  Good-bye is really just “So long for now”…..

And so we wait, life feeling like its holding it’s breath, anticipating yet dreading the day we get “the call” that he has gone.  Until then, we ask Jesus to ease his pain and take him home soon.

Because this Earth is NOT our home.

  *I wrote this post not knowing that the day I wrote it,  Friday, April 26th at 10:45pm, my sweet Grandpa would get to see his Jesus in Glory.  My mom and my Grandma each held a hand as he went.

  So long for now, Grandpa.

So long for now…….

No more sorrow, no more pain.

I sure do love you. 

~T

  I also want to add, that this morning {Saturday} soon after 7, our beloved Gramma Esther went to see Jesus too.  She had been talking of a “reunion” she was planning all week!  Praise God her time of suffering is over, and she is in Paradise with my Grandpa and many others who have gone before them. What a REUNION!

The Death of Jesus

 

At the age of 33, Jesus was condemned to the death penalty.

  At the time crucifixion was the “worst” death.

Only the most dreadful criminals were condemned to be crucified.

The nails are thought to have been driven into His wrist, not into His palms as is commonly portrayed.

Each nail was 6 to 8 inches long.  Can you imagine?

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There’s a tendon in the wrist that extends to the shoulder.

The Roman guards knew that when the nails were being hammered into the wrist, that tendon would tear and break, later forcing Jesus to use His back muscles to support himself so that He could breathe.

Both of His feet were nailed together. Thus He was forced to support Himself on the single nail that impaled His feet to the cross.

Jesus could not support himself with His legs because of the pain, so He was forced to alternate between arching His back then using his legs just to continue to breathe.

Imagine the struggle, the pain, the suffering, the courage.  Jesus endured this reality for over 3 hours.

Yes, over 3 hours!

Can you imagine this kind of suffering?

A few minutes before He died, Jesus stopped bleeding.

He was simply pouring water from His wounds.

The human adult body contains about 3.5 liters (just less than a gallon) of blood.

He had no more blood to bleed.

But before the nails and the spear, Jesus was whipped and beaten.

The whipping was so severe that it tore the flesh from His body.

The beating so horrific that His face was torn and his beard ripped from His face to the point of being un-recognizable.

The crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp.

Most men would not have survived this torture.

All this plus carrying His own cross for nearly a mile, while the crowd spat in his face and threw stones.

  The cross was almost 66 pounds, only for its higher part, where His hands were nailed.

Jesus had to endure this experience, so that you can have free access to God.

So that your sins could be washed away.

All of them, with no exception!

Don’t ignore the reason we celebrate Easter.

It’s not about a silly bunny who delivers chicken eggs.

It’s not about new clothes and Easter baskets.

It’s about the fact that JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOU!

  And would’ve given His precious life even if you were the ONLY person on Earth.  Because He loves you that much!

The truth is that Jesus is the only salvation for the world.

What held Jesus to the cross was not three nails… It was His love for you and me that held Him there to endure to the end.

May today we be still.

  May we be in silent meditation, awe and wonder at the ultimate sacrifice;  God’s only Son, the perfect lamb, given as atonement for our sins.  Sins so filthy and so ugly draped across Jesus, that the Father Himself had to turn His face away from His Son.

Or was it because He couldn’t bear to see the agony of it all, lest He send angels to swoop down and save His Son from this slow and painful death?

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending: 

The grave couldn’t hold Jesus for long.  Hallelujah!

On Resurrection Sunday, may you celebrate our risen Lord!!!!!!

He died for you. He would’ve given His life if you were the only person on this Earth.

The reason is….YOU!
Amazing grace, amazing love…….please watch this, it will rock your world today.

Happy Easter to you and yours, I am taking the rest of the week off to enjoy Easter break with my family! 

~T

Here are some favorite Easter Recipes from years past:

Green Bean Haystacks

Sugar Bunny Pops

Lemon Blueberry Trifle

Resurrection Cookies
Coconut Cream Pie Bars

 

Heads Up on Being Heads Down: A Guest Post Must Read

  I read something that stopped me in my tracks on Friday. A guest post written by Gregg Murset, who is the Founder of www.myjobchart.com, which we love!  And, as the father of 4 boys and 2 girls, you can tell he writes from his heart.  It’s called: The Demise of Guys and it’s shared over at We Are That Family.  {great blog, one of the first I started following!}

  I HAD to pass it on to you!  Here is the photo from it:

WOAH.  Now that I have your attention….go read that guest post! 

~T

 

Re: Dear Mom On The iPhone

  I cannot believe how much traffic “Dear Mom On The iPhone” is getting.  

  Love it when that happens, but I hate what comes with it: 

Snarky comments.

  I suppose that’s the name of the game in Blogging, we are to have tough skin, yet expose our tender hearts to the world.  It’s the hardest part of our job description.

   I want to officially respond once and for all:

That post was written as a HYPOTHETICAL….. 

There was no “Mom in the park”, I woke up with a burden to write, and write I did. My job was to obey, not over think, or cast judgement.

 I know and understand that there are extenuating circumstances that make situations like a mom on her phone in the park necessary.  I get it, I do!   But guess what, there ARE moms in the park, picking up from preschool, families at a restaurant; ALL missing opportunities to invest face to face time in each other, because they are on the phone for fun, or out of habit!

   I will say that I am sorry if my presentation offended you.  The writer in me loved the idea of a letter form, just like the letter I wrote to the 21 year old me, or how about the Dear Dad On The Recliner post RIGHT before iPhone mom….the one no one went into a tizzy over.

However, the heart of the message is based on a hard truth, one I will not apologize for pointing out.

  We, as a society, are easily distracted.  Especially now that the www. can go with us.  Suddenly, emails to respond to, are at our fingertips, not waiting for us at the office.

  Let it be known, that I am not looking down my nose at said Mom in the Park, and judging her without knowing her circumstances. You are right, she MIGHT have a deadline, it MIGHT be her only choice, the list of choices of WHY she needs to be on her phone go on and on. 

Fine.  Fair enough. I agree, it needs to happen sometimes.

  But I will tell you this, as a blogger, we paint in BROAD strokes.  If we had to stop and explain all sides of the situation, or visit all possible scenarios, we’d never get anything accomplished in our posts.  If that post made you mad or feel something, GOOD. Go with that conviction.  Do something about it.  

    I don’t have an iPhone, but I DO have a computer. I do have a Facebook account.  I do sit down and have to edit photo sessions, and I will be the FIRST to admit, that I am CONSTANTLY fighting the “Distraction Factor” they offer.  In that post, I am talking to all of us as moms!  As dads!  As family units!  Time to re-focus, re-prioritize!  Isn’t it our job to encourage and lift each other up?

 Isn’t it also our jobs to point out hard truths?

   Encouraging each other to take a hard look at how we spend our time.  Encouraging each other to put media aside and get down on the floor and play with our kids, stare into the eyes of our spouses and have a real conversation, laugh as a family around a board game. 

  To sit around the dinner table and TALK about the day, not silently chew while we stare at the TV or down at our individual phones.  

 To get off our cell phones before we check out at the store, so we can be polite and friendly to those we come in contact with.

  I can be sorry for coming across wrong, but cannot apologize for the intent in which I wrote it. Against these various forms of media, and how easily satan uses those distractions to steal, kill and destroy what we hold dear to us.

  Dear Mom On The iPhone stands as is. 

  I won’t back down from that part of it, I can’t.  It’s too important.

~T

 

 

Dear 21 Year Old Me,

Dear 21 Year Old Me.

I just wanted to start out by saying, that you are a talented, vivacious, joyful, lovely young woman.

{Kids I nannied for}

  I know you don’t know what your giftings are yet, and that bugs you.  You wish God would just show you already, so you could use them for His glory.  In due time, you will see them arise, and they will really surprise you!  The ministry you prayed for, will come, but not in the way you expected, God is cool like that.

21-year-old Tonya, I know you don’t like what you see in the mirror, but you are beautiful.  Someday, you will see it.  You’ll look back at photos and wonder why you didn’t appreciate it.

You see, age and babies will make the body you find flawed, even more flawed.

And suddenly, you will realize it’s not important anymore.  All the things that seem SO big right now, really aren’t that big at all, not in the grand picture of your life.

I know you are dreaming of your Happily Ever After, after all, you’ve JUST married your Prince Charming.

All is right in your World.

This is IT:

  The moment you’ve been waiting for your whole life.

Your fairytale love story come true.

 

Your reward from God for doing things HIS way, right!?

Silly little girl, that’s not the way it works.

Your rewards are not on this earth, for this is not your home.

You will overcome MUCH adversity in the years to come.

You will.

Don’t be scared.

Listen to me…..

Don’t waste a SECOND of your beautiful life with your dashing husband, worrying about what I am hinting at.

Don’t ever stop spreading sunshine.

Don’t ever stop making life’s lemons into lemonade.

Don’t ever stop choosing Jesus.

Don’t ever stop choosing the hard “right thing”.

Listen to me, Tonya, never, EVER give up.

You are FAR stronger than you know.

You are!

You will see that in the years to come.  That shy little girl you are inside, turns into a roaring lion, when it comes time to fight for something she holds so dear.

And fight you will:

When it comes to having children.

When it comes to choosing Love.

When it comes time to stand by your Marriage in the face of adversity.

All of it, a battle with the devil.

You will win.

You know that, right!?

Victory is yours, bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus.

It’s going to be hard.

The hardest things you’ve ever been through, EVER.  You will want to lay down and die.

Don’t.

You are stronger than you know. You will face adversity head on.  You will be blessed beyond measure, and your cup with run over with the goodness of it all.

Never stop smiling. 

Never stop choosing joy.

Tonya-land is a GREAT place to live!  It goes away for a season, but it comes back.  In fact, it comes back even better than before, because you’ve seen the other side.

The darkness is ugly.

You will know that full well.

But you know what, 21-year-old Tonya…..

It makes walking back into the sunshine, that much better!

Love,

The 31 Year Old You

2013 Word of the Year

  I had this post planned for Thursday, but I think it’s more fitting to post it New Years Day, don’t you?!  

Each year, I hear families praying about a “Word of the Year”.  I have never done this, but looking back, I think we have had several:

2010: Discipline

  Our year of financial discipline was difficult to say the least. You can read some of the amazing things God did during this time here, the first of a three part series.  I see now, looking back, that this was all a breaking down of Dale, so the truth could come in the summer of 2011.  There was a bigger picture at work, one we could not yet see.  It served a big purpose in my own life, to re-evaluate the important things, to re-define our former comfortable lifestyle, and to let go of the “American Dream” in my head of what our lives should look like.

2011: Broken 

   There is no doubt the word for 2011 was Broken.  Broken hearts, broken dreams, broken marriage vows.  In the end, we learned God desires our brokenness.  And we will never ever forget, that to become broken, is actually to become whole. 

2012: Transparency

  This was a HUGE part of 2012, I kept thinking “Healing” might be our word of the year, but I keep going back to the TRANSPARENCY that had to occur for Dale and I to move forward in our tragedy for God’s glory, and share it both on the world wide web, but also speaking at church events, Encounters, and sitting down with other couples.  Owning our truth was hard, and there were those that judged us harshly for it, but God is so faithful.  Obedience brings blessing!

  I am excited to say, I feel like the Lord is showing me what the 2013 word could be, when I received the SAME word, for the third time in a 2 month period:

RESTORATION.

   I was not praying for a word of the year, but I have been meditating on this verse for the past few months:

“Restore to me the joy of my salvation and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalms 51:12

  I WANT this.  I was asking God for this to happen this year. I feel like after an amazing mountain top high, I am in a Spiritual Valley.  I feel as if my prayers do not reach above the ceiling, and I no longer feel the Lord’s presence constantly, as I did in crisis mode.  I am asking Him to breathe new life into me, I miss the mountain top.  I suppose if we didn’t walk through a Valley, we never would understand the blessing of the view from the top, would we?

   In the midst of this, I was asked to speak at a Women’s event coming up this month, and the key word for the evening was Restoration. 

Hmm, see a pattern here? 

Then weeks later, I see the words:

RESTORATION 2013. 

My heart jumped as only it can when you are nudged by the Holy Spirit!

RESTORATION! Yes, Lord, yes!

“You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance.“  Psalms 65:11

I pray our time of famine has passed, and it is my prayer for 2013, that He will abundantly lavish us with restoration of joy, restoration of our financial storehouses full and overflowing with a bountiful harvest, and a year full of blessings.  I cannot WAIT to see what He has in store. 

For He will restore what the locusts have eaten…. {Taken from Joel 2:25}

  So, I shared a little bit of this post on New Years Eve, on the 4 little Ferguson’s facebook page, and you will not BELIEVE the message I got:

Jessica Devine: I just wanted to let you know that my pastor received a Word from God for 2013….the word was RESTORATION!!! I am believing this!!! Amen!

 WHAT?!  Yet, another confirmation!  Praise God and Hallelujah!  She had chills when she read my status update, I had chills when I read her message.

   Listen up, we serve a God who can make beauty from the ashes of our lives, every single time, if only we let Him.  And like the back of a tapestry, we may only see a mess of strings, but He sees a beautiful big picture.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”
Isaiah 55:8-13

What is your word for 2013?  Want to join me in asking our Heavenly Father for RESTORATION?

Restoration for Marriages. Restoration of a quieter, less busy lifestyle. Restoration of the family unit as it is meant to be. Restoration for the lost.  Restoration for the broken.  Restoration of our Great Nation.  Restoration of the Church, so that is no longer a Museum for the good, but rather a Hospital for the Broken.  

 We cannot even begin to imagine the great things He has in store!

Hugs, T

 

Shared with Mercy Ink: Heart Home Link Up

Born In Me

  In preparation for Christmas, I have been trying to keep my posts Holiday centered this week.  Today, I want to share with you, a very well done video of a BEAUTIFUL song called, “Born In Me” {Mary} by Francesca Battistelli.  Please take a moment to watch!

I know I have been sharing a lot from the archives for this countdown to Christmas week, and I hope that doesn’t bother you. Sometimes, you just can’t say it better than the first time! 🙂

May Jesus be real to you today, as you prepare to celebrate His birth in the coming days….

Hugs, T

From the Christmas archives:

One Family, One Journey. One Child who would change the world forever.

photo credit

Have you seen the movie: The Nativity Story?

It was so good for me to emotionally go on that journey with Mary & Joseph. It made things very real to me.

I mean, can you imagine how difficult it was for Mary, an unwed teen, to be scoffed by her friends who think she’s nuts, when she says she has never been with a man, but is pregnant anyways? Or how about having to tell her parents the big news: Did she wait until she was showing, or tell them right away?

How about feeling the threat of DEATH by stoning looming over her head, should Joseph choose to file charges against her?! I wonder, since her parents choose Joseph as her betrothed, does she even know him that well at this point?

Or love him?

Does she know enough about him to think he’ll believe her story? How scary to not know what will happen next!

Although Joseph’s initial reaction was to break the engagement, totally acceptable in that day, he treated Mary with such kindness. What a gentleman! He didn’t want to cause her further shame, so he decided to act quietly. I am so glad God chose to send an angel to Joseph in a dream, to verify Mary’s story, that way, he could be reassured that his marriage to her WAS God’s will after all.

When the angel explained that the child within Mary was indeed conceived by the Holy Spirit, that his name would be Jesus and that he was the Messiah, God with us, did he freak out!? Did he sit in wonder and awe? Don’t you think he lay awake the rest of the night, thinking of what his life with Mary was going to be like?

 Parents of THE MESSIAH?

That is some heavy thinking for the middle of the night! He willingly took Mary to be his wife, knowing they were being looked down upon in their town. Maybe this noble quality is one of the reasons God chose Joseph to be the earthly father of Jesus.

And later, as they are married and traveling to Bethlehem, I was shocked to see footage of Joseph’s bloody, calloused feet. I had never thought of this before, but why wouldn’t they be? They walked the approximately 60-90 miles to Bethlehem, where the census was taken.

Poor Mary, riding or walking that long journey, big and pregnant. I bet her baby pressed on her bladder, making them stop often, I bet the heat was unbearable at times, I bet nights were spent in discomfort, sleeping on the hard ground.

How about going into labor in a town far away from her mother and all things familiar? A newly married young woman, who had never been intimate with a man, giving birth to her first child, who also just happens to be the Savior of the world!!!!

Do you remember that feeling, as you realized you were about to give birth to your first-born? I mean actually bring them into the world.  Those emotions you felt, as you anticipated, yet dreaded the labor part. Did sweet Mary cry for her momma? Did she squeeze Joseph’s hand as hard as she could as she contracted? Was he a good coach? Did she trust him to help safely deliver this precious child in a stable, or was she afraid even though the angel said, “fear not”?

photo credit

Oh, the joy she must have felt, as she lifted that precious child in her arms, counted his ten tiny fingers and toes, and marveled at all that had just occurred.

How overwhelmed she must have been, as she looked around their humble dwelling, wondering what she had to offer the King of Kings?

Wondering about this babe, who would grow into a toddler full of questions:When would they know, that he knew, He was the King of Kings? A look in his eye? The words from his mouth? Did she wonder what kind of challenges that would create?

And what about when all those stinky Shepherds showed up? Exhausted and emotional, what was she feeling as they came and touched her new baby? You know how protective first time moms are! Did she wish she could have them wash up first?

As the shepherds left, they were still praising and glorifying God, but sweet Mary kept quiet, treasuring their words and pondering them in her heart. Don’t you think at that moment, it must have been beyond her ability to grasp, that sleeping in her arms—the precious child she had just worked so hard to bring into the world—was the Savior of the World. Wow!

How real everything becomes, as you watch in this movie, and see those precious little lives lost, as Herod in fear of the newborn King, commands all the baby boys under the age of 2 to be killed. Oh, the heartache of those mothers, screaming as their baby sons were ripped from their arms and slain, I just wept and wept.  Such mourning happened in those towns in the months to follow, as broken-hearted mothers put back the pieces of their shattered lives.

I have to wonder, as Mary and Joseph were told by the angel to flee in the night to safety, how old was Jesus at the time? A little boy full of questions? Or still a newborn babe?  Did Mary’s pumping adrenaline kick in?  Did those ‘mother bear’ instincts get her through? Or was she paralyzed with fear, and have to be prompted by Joseph to, “Stop crying and pack!” so they could get going? How did she manage? I can’t imagine what she was feeling, still in a foreign land, far from home, now fleeing to Egypt to be refugees there!!  And wait, Mary’s journey isn’t done yet, still later, another dream tells them to return back home, FINALLY!  Who knows how many years later this occurred?! What a STRONG woman!

Watching this movie was eye-opening to say the least!  It is my hope, that this Christmas, you will celebrate the humble beginnings of our Lord and King. and remember, just how real this was to a newlywed couple in Bethlehem, who experienced a life changing, WORLD changing moment…..as they held our Lord and Savior in their arms and kissed his sweet head.

 

Dear Abby,

This is post 2 for today, be sure to head back one post for Bacon & Swiss Salad, a MUST HAVE at all our Family Holiday Functions!

From the archives:

Dear Abby,

Everything in my life is going wrong! What seemed like the ideal dream has become an unending nightmare. Only a few weeks ago everything seemed perfect: I had just graduated from school with honors. My girlfriend and I got engaged the same day my father made me a full partner in his construction business. I was so pumped . . . and definitely in love. Life seemed complete. Even my faith was at an all‑time high.

It all started falling apart one Friday when my fiancée met me after work. She looked like something was wrong . . . but I couldn’t get her to talk about it. So we went to a basketball game that evening, but my head wasn’t in it. My imagination was running wild.

Didn’t she love me anymore? Did she want to call off the wedding? Did she have cancer?

The questions kept coming. I was a nervous wreck. Afterward, we went out for dessert. She didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally, she whispered the words I hadn’t even dared to think:

“I’m pregnant!”

Then she burst into tears. I was stunned.

“You? But we haven’t even . . .”

A wave of nausea hit me as I realized the horrible truth: Since it wasn’t me, it had to be someone else.

“Who was he?” I forced myself to ask.   I couldn’t decide if I really wanted to know.

She looked down, “I can’t tell you,” she said, “You wouldn’t understand. I just want you to know I still love you and want to be your wife!”

“If you loved me you wouldn’t be in the condition you’re in,” I snapped.

I couldn’t help seeing the love in that face I’d come to cherish. Abby, I knew I still loved her with my heart, that’s why I hurt so much. How could I continue to love someone who slept around? I was too shocked to say anything the rest of the evening. I paid the bill, took her home, and drove away.

Although I’ve never been very emotional, I cried myself to sleep. I woke up early the next morning angry & full of questions.

How could she do this to me? Didn’t she love me? Hadn’t we promised to save ourselves for each other? Who was he? How long had they been sleeping together? How could they manage to see each other without me even suspecting? Didn’t she believe in the standard God had set for relationships?

I went all week without seeing or calling her. I just couldn’t. My heart ached. My stomach burned. My head pounded nonstop. Then she showed up today just as I was closing shop.

 ”I’ve made arrangements to leave town for a while,” she said. “I think it’s best for you & me & for our families. I’ll be staying at my cousin’s place downstate.”

I must have been frowning because she added, “Don’t worry, my love, I’ll be in good hands.”

She handed me a piece of paper with a phone number where I could reach her & then left. I haven’t heard from her since, and that was 3 months ago.

Abby, what should I do now? I can’t imagine going ahead with the engagement. My trust in her has been destroyed. Still, the thought of walking away leaves me even more confused. The shame and embarrassment of being pregnant and not married in our small town would make her the target of endless harassment.

On the other hand, if I stand by her & pretend that the child is mine, I’d destroy my reputation . . . something I don’t think I’m willing to risk to cover her selfish mistake.

My gut feeling is to break off the engagement & try to forget what happened. I care too much for her to make an ugly scene. Maybe I could tell our friends that it was my idea to break up & she had to get out-of-town to escape the pain of my decision?

Abby, I want to do the right thing. But I just can’t decide. Should I stay with her regardless of what others think? Or should I quietly break off the engagement and try to get on with my life?

Signed,

A Devastated Boyfriend

And then came the reply:

Dear Devastated Boyfriend,

Don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife. What’s conceived in her is from Holy Spirit, Christ is in her. You’ll see. Just open the door of your heart to Mary, you’ll begin to experience the wonder of Christ’s presence firsthand.

Signed,

Abby

—————————————————————————————————————————

Do you ever really stop to think about Mary as a real person?!  A real teenager with a REAL dilemma on her hands.  This “Dear Abby” letter brought everything home for me, I got it.

We know the last chapter of this story, but poor Mary didn’t.  She feared for her very life, as she could be STONED for her “indiscretion”!  Would you, as her parents, have believed her?  Do you know how HARD that must’ve been for all of them?

As we approach the Christmas season, remember the reason we celebrate, remember a young unwed mother, great with child making a journey to a land not her own, away from her mom and everything familiar.  Remember her FAITH, even though she didn’t know the Happily FOREVER After was to come for all of us.

Blessed be the name of the Lord,

~T

Keeping CHRIST in Christmas

{Re-posted every year from the 4 little Ferguson’s Christmas archives}

Christmas is rapidly approaching, and with it can come a sense of panic, a need to rush into town, push through the crowd towards near empty shelves, and snag those last few items on your Christmas shopping list. Standing in long lines, being told “Happy Holidays” by the greeter as you leave, rushing around to prepare for office parties & family get-togethers, addressing Christmas cards, wrapping gifts, and on the busy-ness goes……

Somewhere along the way, the peaceful, quiet days of Christmas past were lost. Somewhere along the way, Jolly Ol’ St. Nick, stole the limelight from baby Jesus, and the madness of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, replaced the leisurely gift shopping of days gone by. Instead, it seems, we celebrate materialism, indulgence and the idea that we need more, more, more.

As a kid growing up, I recall knowing who Santa was, I think he even signed a couple of our packages under the tree a time or two, but I can’t EVER recall a time, that I didn’t know it was really my parents.

I have great memories of Christmas growing up, but you’d be surprised at the ones that stand out most.

I remember the year dad went back to college, and we couldn’t afford a Christmas tree, so we decorated the artificial fica tree that stood in our living room, instead. Tiny red apples, red velvet bows and empty mini raisin boxes hung from its branches….To my little girl eyes, it was beautiful!!!!!

There were very few presents under the tree that year, but I don’t remember thinking much of it. Mom kept us busy with special baking and craft projects, and dad kept us in hysterics on Christmas morning, sticking his new electric drill up his nose, stating it could also double as a nose hair trimmer.

As we got older and became teenagers, our finances changed, and my parents got more and more creative in their gift giving…..

One year we went on a family vacation to the Bahamas instead of getting gifts. Another time, Hawaii. One year, we got cash to spend after Christmas at the big sales, teaching us the value of the dollar, and that it could be stretched much further by waiting for a sale day after Christmas to shop. Another year, after my dad sold his trucking business, and things were incredibly tight, we did intangible gifts. We wrote letters of appreciation to each member of the family, and that Christmas morning was not spent under a pile of wrapping paper and boxes, but quietly seated around the fireplace, reading those letters of love & affirmation to each other.

But, the Christmas that stands out the most in my mind, was not the tropical vacations, not the new boom box or new car…..

No, it was the year we adopted a family in need, through a local church. We were given an address to deliver our goodies to them, in person.  So we all loaded up, driving further and further into the oldest part of town, until we arrived in front of a very humble home. Arms loaded with boxes of goodies, we walked to the front door. Once we were done with our “good deed” for the day, we could go back home and have our own Christmas.

We knocked on the door, and were welcomed in broken English. Stepping inside, the first thing I noticed was the home was sparse in furniture. Mattresses serving as beds lay on the floor, and open cupboard doors revealed they were indeed, bare. My heart softened. My “good deed” for the day, suddenly turned into so much more.

Oh, the joy on their faces as we unloaded box after box of groceries, clothing, toys and necessities. I recall tears streaming down the mothers face, as she thanked us over and over in broken English. The father reached out his work-weary hands, silently grasping ours, tears in his eyes telling us how humbled and thankful he was for this, though no words were spoken. Their children ran circles around the old sofa, the language barrier not stopping our interpretation of their squeals of excitement and joy!

Tears filled my eyes, as I looked at the space around me….thinking of the home full of stuff we had left just 10 minutes ago, the gifts waiting under the tree, the food filling 2 fridges. This families Christmas blessing, was my every day life!

I didn’t know a day without food.
I didn’t go to school without a coat, because we didn’t have the money for one.
I never walked to a cupboard to find it bare. We had so much, and they had so little.

Why did I even need the few gifts waiting for me, under the tree at home?

It was then I knew what God was showing me…….

THIS is what Christmas is about.

Giving to others in need, showing them the love of Christ, not receiving! Why, when I had such an abundance, did I need anything? I became more convinced than ever that Christmas was going to be forever different at our house!

Fast forward 15 years, I now have 4 little ones of my own, and the huge responsibility of establishing my families traditions….

From the very beginning Christmas morning has been Jesus’ birthday, nothing else. We feel Santa “waters down” what we are trying to do with Christmas. Our goal is to keep it about Christ, and His birth, and in striving towards this goal, of keeping Christ in Christmas, we chose to exclude Santa from any of our celebrations.

Don’t get me wrong, the kids know who Santa is, and that he is part of the general season of year. In fact, the older two, were playing reindeer and Santa one night!

That doesn’t bother me a bit.

Neither does letting them watch the evening Christmas specials on tv, about Rudolph or Frosty. What a special treat! But there is one rule and requirement of evening TV watching……

Commercials MUST be muted.

I can’t stand how they try to grab my kids attention and stir up the “Greedy Gimmies” with the ads for the “coolest toy ever“!

But, when it actually comes to Christmas day, does Santa have a part?

Nope, not around here. We want Christmas Day to be sacred. It’s special. It’s a quiet, calm. A peaceful celebration of the birth of Jesus. It’s not wrapping paper piled knee-high on the floor. It’s not toy fire engine sirens, crying baby dolls and whirring helicopter toys, drowning out all other sounds of worship of our Lord and King, the whole reason we celebrate in the first place.

On Christmas morning, you won’t hear shouts of ”Santa came!” Instead, shouts of, “It’s Jesus birthday!” are heard. {Followed by arguments about who gets to blow out Jesus’ birthday candle after we sing Happy Birthday to Him!} 🙂

After reading the Christmas story, we give each child 3 gifts, representing the 3 gifts given to baby Jesus by the wise men. Buying only 3 gifts for each child, keeps Dale and I in check, as we are doing our Christmas shopping, and allows the focus to remain on Christ, not the need for more, more, more.

Later, as our children get older, we will deepen the significance of these gifts, by assigning a meaning to each one:

Frankincense: A gift for spiritual growth. (A new devotion book, Bible or Christian CD.)
Myrrh: A practical gift. (A new pair of jeans, a coat, a laptop for school, a car emergency kit.)
Gold: A gift that fulfills a want. (An ipad, shopping certificate, jewelry, bike, MP3 player etc.)

We celebrate Christmas based on God GIVING us His one and only son, who later GIVES His life as a living sacrifice for us! We want giving and not receiving to be the focus of Christmas. This is why we choose to adopt a family in need, or participate in filling individual shoe boxes, when our church adopts a local school.

What fun it is to stroll through the store, with each of my children clutching a paper in their sweet little hands, with a name.  A name of a special boy or girl, about their age, who we can be a blessing to.

I love to see their faces as they figure out that no, these new toys aren’t for them to keep, they have enough toys at home. These gifts are for a little boy or girl, who might otherwise have nothing new at Christmas!  Granted, sometimes its hard to pack that giant bouncy ball, or sparkly nail polish in the box, for the other child. But, it doesn’t take long for them to grasp, at their level of understanding, the kindness and love they are showing to another child. To understand that Christmas is about giving to others, not asking, begging and pleading for the latest and greatest new toys.

It is my hearts desire for our Christmases to be SO focused on Jesus Christ, from my children’s first memory of Christmas on, that they don’t know it ANY other way!

Keeping Christ in Christmas goes much farther than a “Merry Christmas” greeting to a cashier, only allowed to say “Happy Holidays”. No, it comes from you, Momma, as you set the tone of your home for each and every holiday tradition to come!

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Romans 12:2 (NLT)

It’s all about finding a happy balance in YOUR home, for YOUR family.  This is what works for us!

~T

This post shared with:

Mercy Ink Heart & Home

Dear Jesus,

I had a different post planned for today, but instead, I’d like to take a moment acknowledge what happened over the weekend, in a small “we are like family” town in Connecticut.  My heart is deeply saddened by this tragedy, and I went through the motions of a busy weekend, with a heaviness on my shoulders.

My hearts cry is….
Oh Jesus, come quickly. ♥  Our world is such a fallen place.

My arms ache to hold my babies close and never let them leave my side, to plug their ears and shield their eyes from the ugly world they live in.  To keep them home with me forever! Tonight I kissed their sweet cheeks extra much as I tucked them in.  Hugged them a little bit longer.  Prayed over them with a little more urgency for safety, protection and a long, full life on this earth.

The Bible promises, that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

You know that last words and actions, that fateful morning before school, will play over and over in the minds of those left behind, daddy’s and mommy’s wishing for just a few more hugs and good-bye kisses in the chaos of a “regular” school morning.

Christmas will be quiet this year for those Sandy Hook Elementary school families who lost precious children: presents under the tree will go unopened, Christmas plays will be missing key roles.

It is my fervent prayer, that as they fall to their knees in grief, they will find Jesus there, with open arms, holding and comforting them.

Heavenly Father, be with those precious families in the days to come, we know you understand grief and loss, as you sent your one and only Son to die a slow and painful death for us.  Draw us near to you in the days to come, that we might feel your comfort.  This nation needs you, now more than ever.  I am sorry we push you away at every turn.  In God we still trust.  Amen.

Rest in the arms of Jesus, little ones.

No more sorrow, no more tears.

~T

From author Max Lucado:
Dear Jesus,
It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.
These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated.
The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?
Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod’s jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty. Dark with violence.
Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.
Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won’t you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.
This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.
Hopefully,
Your Children