Waiting for Paradise

We went to Hospice House for dinner Friday to be together as a family.  Out of respect for Grandpa, I am not going to share images of him, just the family around him, holding his hands and just murmering their love and affirmation of a life well lived.


It’s so hard to see someone you love slowly, painfully die.

Not really here, but not gone to Paradise either.

His head tilts back as he lays in bed, his eyes open and shut, but do not see.  His breathing raspy, gurgling actually.  He doesn’t talk much anymore, except….except on Wednesday, when I lifted the children up, one by one to kiss his forehead and say hi in his ear, his breathing changed, excited breaths followed by an exhaled HIIIIIII.  Oh so faint, so soft we almost missed it.  Again tonight, he said it to us except we were blessed to hear his whispered voice three times Hi, Hi, Hi….

{Instant tears}

 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

—2 Corinthians 4:16–18

A brave Papa fighting cancer, an oh so special Great Grandpa in Hospice, an adopted, and well loved “Gramma” Esther in another state, also in hospice waiting for Jesus to take her home, dying of the same cancer our Papa is fighting so hard against….so many loved ones on their way to Jesus.  And it’s my job to comfort my little ones, and answer their questions with accuracy and honesty.  In simple, but real terms to bring comfort in the truth of death.

But isn’t it funny, how sometimes THEY bring comfort to us, with their innocent understanding of life, death and a new life in Heaven.


  Avery is so excited for Grandpa to have new “bendy legs”. His old childhood injury, a smashed ankle turned rod in the leg, has given him a lifetime of pain.  She knew new legs would be a special part of his Heavenly body.  Paxton was most excited that he’d “Wun wiff Jesus!” {run with Jesus} The older two, quietly taking it all in, their thoughts kept quiet as they prepare to say good-bye to a Grandpa who was a big part of their lives and weekly routine.


   But we know, good bye is never really good bye, not when you have the hope of Jesus.  Good-bye is really just “So long for now”…..

And so we wait, life feeling like its holding it’s breath, anticipating yet dreading the day we get “the call” that he has gone.  Until then, we ask Jesus to ease his pain and take him home soon.

Because this Earth is NOT our home.

  *I wrote this post not knowing that the day I wrote it,  Friday, April 26th at 10:45pm, my sweet Grandpa would get to see his Jesus in Glory.  My mom and my Grandma each held a hand as he went.

  So long for now, Grandpa.

So long for now…….

No more sorrow, no more pain.

I sure do love you. 


  I also want to add, that this morning {Saturday} soon after 7, our beloved Gramma Esther went to see Jesus too.  She had been talking of a “reunion” she was planning all week!  Praise God her time of suffering is over, and she is in Paradise with my Grandpa and many others who have gone before them. What a REUNION!



A Hospice House Piano Party

  Destiny had her first Piano Recital this weekend, called a “Piano Party”!  Her Great Grandpa Beckler, whom she is very close to, just got moved to the Hospice House.  Naturally, if he couldn’t come to her Piano Party, she was going to need to move the Piano Party to HIM.

piano party 1  Hospice House was amazing and so supportive of the idea!  It was such a special day, one none of us will soon forget.

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Time to start the show!

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Destiny did GREAT and if she was nervous at all, she hid it well!  She stood to introduce each song by name before playing it…..

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  After, she was rewarded with a Certificate from Aunt Kasey, aka The World’s Greatest Piano teacher, for completing her first set of piano books.  She was so excited! 🙂

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As a bonus, Destiny and I got to play our two duets together.  Chopsticks and Heart & Soul, she can do bottom or top hand, and we have had so much fun playing these together.piano party 13

 Not to be left out, Avery wanted to play a song that Destiny has been teaching her from the front of the book.  Such sweet sisters!

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We spent the rest of the morning together right into lunch time, hanging out and playing cards.  Lunch out then home for naps. 

We had so much fun and I am so thankful we have family near by!

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I loved watching these tender moments between my Grandparents…..

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  Paxton was VERY tearful this time about “Gweat Gwampa sick. He die.”
{Great Grandpa is sick, he is going to die soon….}

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  I was blown away by the the level of understanding. He knew something wasn’t right with his beloved “Gwampa” who now stays in bed. 

  We explained that Grandpa was sick, and that he would go see Jesus soon. 

“Jesus? In Heaben?” 

Yes, and Grandpa is going to have a NEW body and be healthy, so he can run around with Jesus. 

“I go to Heaven and run with Jesus too?” 

Not yet buddy!  You stay here with Mommy, then someday we will all go see Jesus and Grandpa in Heaven.

  Later he runs up to me and says, “Gwampa run in Heaben with Jesus wike dis….” and he took off running in a big circle around the room with a big smile on his face.

  You are exactly right buddy!  You are exactly right…..

What a glorious day that will be! 

No more sorrow, no more pain….

  We sure love you, Grandpa!




An Afternoon Scooter Parade

  It was such a beautiful day today!  We decided to go visit my Grandparents after school.  Tylan wanted to drive his scooter with his Great Grandpa, so we loaded up 2 scooters and a trike, and headed over.

  My country kids could hardly believe all the sidewalk at their disposal! 


017In fact, 2 of my 3 had wipe-outs and the pavement-skinned knees to prove it. 

  Next, it was time for a Scooter Parade!


  It is so special to have Great Grandparents near-by.  We sure are happy they moved from Phoenix to be near my kids, I mean their children and families.  🙂