This is all part of a series on “Surviving Infidelity”. Please start at the beginning: Shattered Hearts, Broken Promises.
Written late November 2011
Let’s say a man hurts his leg BADLY, like it will never function as it once did….
He can sit in his hospital bed and dream of a million and one ways to get his regular, fully functioning leg back, but the truth of the matter is, he can’t. No matter what he dreams up, he can’t get it back to how it used to be. Now, he has a choice:
~Sit there in his bed and rot, while he wishes he could turn back time.
~Get up off that bed, participate in some very difficult therapy, and learn to function normally, this time with a hurt leg.
To walk, with a limp. To do stairs, with a limp. To ride bike, with a limp. He can achieve the things he used to, it’s just not quite the same.
This is my new reality.
I am feeling a quiet acceptance today, as I realize this “limp” is here to stay. That instead of hiding my limp, or trying to find a way to get rid of it, I am accepting it. Planning life from here forward WITH it. I feel sad today, almost a sense of loss as I say goodbye to my dreams of what marriage would be, how I would be treated etc., yet at peace somehow. The kind of peace that comes from the arms of Jesus……
Instead of day dreaming all day long in “The Land of If Only”…..
IF ONLY Dale had said no, IF ONLY I could’ve called and stopped him, IF ONLY someone could’ve been there that day, IF ONLY I could’ve seen this coming……
I chose to live in today.
To lean on God TODAY, to get through moment by limping moment.
Sometimes I fall, I do. I am not used to my limp, but my Father in Heaven picks me up again, the Faithful Teacher, instructing me on how to walk all over again with my new limp.
Can God heal my limp? Sure.
Will He? I am not sure He needs to.
Remember Jacob in the Bible? He wrestled with God and walked with a limp the rest of his life as a reminder of that day he wrestled God and demanded a blessing. Maybe Dale and I NEED the limp, so others can ask what happened and hear the good news of Christ in our lives. Maybe our limp is the very reason glory will be given to God.
Here is a devotional on this very subject a family member shared with us, that spoke volumes and came at the perfect time….
(Don’t they always?! Love it!)
He Breaks Us to Make Us
Read: Genesis 32:22-32
“There is a good reason God calls his people sheep. Sometimes they act bad and wander away from the paths he has mapped out for them. A good shepherd will relentlessly search for a wayward sheep. Sometimes, if the sheep refuses to follow his master, the shepherd takes drastic action. He breaks the sheep’s leg, places it upon his shoulders and carries the sheep until it learns total dependence. This is tough love – the shepherd breaks the sheep to make sure the sheep always follows the shepherd.
Jacob had always been a wanderer. He fled his home in Beersheba to escape his brother’s wrath and find a wife in Haran. On his journey, he encountered God at a place called Bethel and saw a stairway leading to heaven. Years later, Jacob left Haran along with his wives, children and property. One night he found himself at Jabbok, utterly alone. At this solitary place God, in the form of “a man,” sought out Jacob. God wanted to make Jacob into a different person, so he took drastic action. He initiated a wrestling match that lasted from dusk till dawn. Jacob’s wilfulness would not allow him to give up. So the man “broke” Jacob, touching his hip so that he walked with a limp for the rest of his life.
Many people might become bitter and turn away from God for breaking them. But Jacob had just the opposite response. He clung to God saying, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” We may think that a God of love would never allow his children to feel any pain. But sometimes God breaks us to make us better. He may break our hearts so we will make room for him there. He may break our will so we can discover his will for us. He may break our physical strength so we discover that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). Like Jacob, the best response to God’s tough love is to cling to him and earnestly pray, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
If you’ve been acting like a bad sheep and have wandered off the path, climb up on the shepherd’s shoulders and let him carry you home to healing.”
The interesting thing is, which I had forgotten happened to Jacob, was the fact that God actually “broke” him physically, so that his limp would remind him for the rest of his life that he is dependent upon God!
This “marriage limp” will always remind us that we need to depend on God to carry us through our most difficult moments. It can become a symbol of a battle fought and won! Our limp can be living proof that God can do amazing things in our lives if we are just willing to let Him!
The glue that holds our marriage together, isn’t found in our own strength, it’s in the powerful BLOOD of Jesus!!!! Thank God, that marriage isn’t just between a man and a woman, but that the Lord is the third-party, the third strand woven into the covenant; a strand that won’t break. In fact, when tugged, the strands of a rope just pull tighter, closer together. Praise Jesus!
Tomorrow is Weekend Potluck, then tune in next week for the final 4 posts of our series on: “Surviving Infidelity: Shattered Hearts, Broken Promises”.
If you never felt pain, then how would you know that I am a Healer?
If you never had to pray, how would you know that I am a Deliverer?
If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an overcomer?
If you never felt sadness, how would you know that I am a Comforter?
If you never made a mistake, how would you know that I am a forgiver?
If you knew all, how would you know that I will answer your questions?
If you never were in trouble, how would you know that I will come to your rescue?
If you never were broken, then how would you know that I can make you whole?
If you never had a problem, how would you know that I can solve them?
If you never had any suffering, Then how would you know what I went through?
If you never went through the fire, Then how would you become pure?
If I gave you all things, how would you appreciate them?
If I never corrected you, how would you know that I love you?
If you had all power, Then how would you learn to depend on me?
If your life was perfect, Then what would you need me for?