I have written many a blog post on chores, age appropriate chores and more, because I think it is an important part of raising our families. I want our kids to grow to be responsible, tidy, hard-working adults. If you … Continue reading
I was just thinking a few Saturdays ago, as I cleaned house with 4 REALLY great helpers, how difficult it was. I also thought how much easier it would be for me to do the cleaning while they were all at school, allllllll by myself. It would be faster, and sometimes, when I know we have a busy weekend, I will do just that.
HOWEVER, 99 times out of 100, we do it…..
ALLLLL of us.
Do you know how hard it is, to find jobs for 4 really great helpers?
It’s all I can do sometimes to keep everyone going, but we do it faithfully. Know why?
Because as the mom, it is my job to bring up my children to know how to work. To feel the sense of accomplishment for a job well done. To create a daily habit of bed making, room tiding, to make a habit of weekly cleaning.
To teach them how to vacuum correctly, wash windows, dust and mop. Even scrub toilets.
If I don’t take the time to train them, who will?
I like Big Picture Parenting. Or Intentional Parenting. I spend a lot of my time thinking ahead of how such and such will affect my children in the future. That is why I stand by my conviction, that my children age 2-9, can absolutely carry part of the load of household chores.
Most of the time, they love to help! And, sometimes we even FIGHT over whose turn it is to vacuum.
And if we aren’t careful, someone gets his toe pinched when he tries to release the vacuum tab all by himself. Hmm, guess that’s why Mommy said WAIT?
Other chores we do together:
Sorting and starting loads. Folding and Putting away.
Sometimes its just the little 2, sometimes they are all home. Whoever is home, is the helper.
When the laundry is sorted, they can go play. Once I have finished all the loads, folded and placed the items neatly in each persons basket, the children then come to help sort and fold socks. Then EVERYONE helps put their own basket of clothes away. Eventually, I will make them help fold clothes too, but for now, this works.
Daily Chores include:
{this is for whomever is home that morning}
We start our dishwasher helpers a little before they turn two. They can easily help with silverware sorting.
Destiny came up with a great job rotation: bottom rack person goes to top, top rack person goes to silverware, silverware person goes to bottom. They all have a job that way! Paxton always does what we call “easy silverware”. That means when the utensil rack is empty except for basic dinnerware, it’s HIS turn to help. He does such a good job sorting 2 sizes of forks, 2 sizes of spoons, butter knives and kids silverware, that I no longer even have to stand around and help him.
You will find this to be true with a lot of jobs, train now, and suddenly in the future, they can do it on their own while you help another child.
Everyone takes turns with this chore. It’s easy and fun! While they are outside getting eggs, they must check the chickens water bowl. Then, when they come back in the garage, they are to sort the eggs and put them in cartons.
Everyone has to take a turn setting the table and filling ice waters with me. This is a great opportunity to teach them to set a tidy table, with silverware where they belong etc. They also must clear their own plate when lunch or dinner is done, and wipe down their area of the table, catching the crumbs in their hands and throwing them away. NOT on mom’s clean floor! 
The bigger kids can rinse their own plates and load the dishwasher. As long as the little two bring over their dinner plates, I don’t mind doing the rinsing and loading. Again, this can all be changed as they get older, I am happy with the level of help they can complete easily for now.
Here are some keys to this process:
We remind them to work as if working for the Lord in whatever task they have to do!
Once the chores are done, it’s Play TIME! I want them to go have fun and be kids. To know how good it feels to have worked together to complete our tasks.
Here are some age appropriate chores from a previous blog post on Chores, we start ours earlier than this age bracket, but I think it will give you a general idea:
Ages 2 to 5
Work alongside your children to help them perform simple chores like putting dirty clothes in the hamper, sorting laundry into color-coded piles, making their beds and feeding pets.
Ages 6 to 8
Children can dust and vacuum, put away their clothes, empty wastebaskets, set and clear the table, care for pets and help with some yard work.
Ages 9 to 12
Kids can unpack groceries, load and unload the dishwasher, mop the floor, fold laundry, wash the car, and help prepare simple meals.
Most child-development experts agree that children shouldn’t be paid for household chores, which are part of contributing to family life.
Here are some tips for a positive chore experience at your house from Dr. Dobson:
Give kids ownership: Have a family meeting and enlist the help of your children in selecting the chores they want to do. Also have them participate in selecting the consequences for chores not performed in a timely manner. Let kids know expectations ahead of time.
Use “shaping” to teach tasks: First, let children watch you perform a chore as you talk through it step by step. The next time, let children perform one part of the chore. Each time, give kids a little more responsibility until they’re ready to tackle the chores alone.
Use language cues to spur self-reflection and responsible behavior: Say “I see books on the floor” rather than giving a direct command. That helps kids make decisions and reduces any defiance.
Offers encouragement: Always thank children for their contributions and offer genuine praise for their efforts. Instead of saying, “Your room looks good,” say, “Thank you for working so hard to put your clothes and toys in their proper place.”
The key here is not to expect perfection! When Destiny was a little girl, I had to learn not to go tidy her bed after she made it. Wrinkled or not, she had done her best and worked SO hard on it! By fixing it in front of her, I was showing her that her best wasn’t good enough.
I thank God that He allowed me to see her crest-fallen face and slumped shoulders once, early on, so He could open my eyes to what this was saying to her.
Doing chores is not always welcomed, but if you face it with a smile on your face and a cheerful heart, your children will soon learn to work hard, so they can play hard later. They will learn the value of chores and responsibility!
On days they DO NOT want to help or have a bad attitude about it, we remind them of this verse taken from Philippians 2:14-15:
Now those are some good words to chore by!
~T
Before we get to today’s scheduled post, I just feel like I need to take a moment and acknowledge the loss of lives yesterday at the Boston Marathon; some meeting death, others facing a life very much unlike the one they had previous to the race. Lost limbs, lost love ones, lost hope….all things that require a time of mourning.
It is my utmost prayer, that on their knees in their agony, they find Jesus. That they feel His gentle touch as He gathers them in His arms of love. The world we live in, is a dark, scary, sinful place….but friends, we always have hope in Jesus. In His promise of eternal life after death, in one day coming back and rescuing the lost, taking His children home to be with Him in Paradise. Oh, how glorious that day will be…….until then, do not lose heart, for He has overcome the world!
John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Now, on to today’s previously scheduled post:
Notice something new in my kitchen?
Ok, ok, you are right. That Kraft Cheese Box didn’t used to be there. A new antique find from a friend, but nope….that’s not it. It’s higher up on the shelf…..
You found it!
So at our house, we work a lot on FIRST time obedience. There are seasons of life we all do better about this. Lately, I have been losing my cool with the kids.
My point could be gotten across just as sweetly, had I walked into the playroom and reminded them to come do it. This action would be followed up, by giving them all a strike on the Strike Board, because SLOW obedience is the same as NO obedience.
Dale reads through the board at the end of the day and we talk about the choices that were made, and we discipline accordingly if someone got 3 strikes, or reward accordingly for 3 stars that are a sign of GOOD behavior.
As you can see, Tylan had slow obedience this morning when I asked him to go get his shoes on and make his bed before school.
Anyhow, back to the topic at hand, yelling.
Honestly, I get lazy at times, and its easier to holler across the house, or get their attention by yelling my instructions again, LOUDLY this time!
Dale found himself doing the same thing, sooo, he came up with “The Yell Jar”. Whoever yells, puts a dollar in the jar.
HOWEVER, we have kids that forget to use inside voices, and they yell sometimes too, so at that point, THEY put a dollar in.
The only rule is, NO making someone yell by provoking!!!!! The provoker gets the dollar charge if this occurs.
So far, so good! Except if you look closely at that photo, you will notice that $2 of those $3 in there, are from me.
{SIGH}
What can I say, I am a work in progress!
OH, er, um, I meant…….
Oh children, it’s time to clean up, please!! 🙂
~T
Someone asked a good question: What happens when the yell jar is full?
Dale says the answer is: Go out for ice cream and celebrate that we don’t holler anymore!!!!!
This post 2 for the day, make sure you don’t miss post one:
Orange Cream Cheese Brownies. YUM!
You know how people always talk about the Terrible Two’s?
Yeah, our kids skip that and save it all up for the “TRYING THREE’S”.
The sweet angelic babies of days gone by, take a temporary leave of absence. 
And in their place?
These volatile little people that get set off at the TEENIEST thing!
We have a method we use for these Trying Three’s called:
“You Have 2 Choices”.
(Brilliant name, I know.)
This allows our 3 year olds to feel like they have a bit of say in their out of control worlds, while still allowing us, ultimate control. {Muahaha MUAHAHAHA!}
No really, all laughing aside, I am dead serious about this, every single blessed one of our kids has gone through this stage and it’s tough people. It makes me weary just writing about it.
“Avery Lyn! You have 2 choices…..”
“(Pointing to index finger) You may stop crying and play with us. OR (pointing to middle finger) you may continue this crying fit in your room alone. Which do you choose?”
This is a tough decision…….
But, they tend to pick number one and then proceed to shut it off.
On the occasion that they cannot get it under control, they are then removed to their room where they sit on their “Boo-Hoo Bed” until they are ready to turn off the water works and be happy.
This has worked very, very well for us! And hey, it works for clothing too!
“Avery, do you want to wear your black leggings or pink leggings with your sweatshirt today?”
She thinks she is choosing for herself, but she is just safely choosing within the boundaries we have set up for her. It’s worked like a charm around here!
Now someone, PLEASE tell me what to do about FOUR:
Freaking
Out
Unnecessarily under
Routine circumstances.
So many tears. And sniffles. And the blubbering {sigh}, oh the blubbering. (This too, is something big sis went through at age 4……)
Well, that’s it from here! Happy day to you and yours, I’m off to go see what the caterwauling is about this time………
I’ve got a 3 and 4 year old, at this point, it could be ANYTHING!!!! 🙂
~T
4 little Fergusons 