Saving Sex for Marriage: From Forbidden Fruit to Free Rein

saving sex for marriage

    So you’ve saved yourself for marriage, Congratulations!  I know it was difficult, I know you probably got laughed at, and I know the World thinks you are CRAZY now.  But that is ok, sex God’s way is unlike anything you could ask or imagine.  We talked yesterday about the chemical make up of the body.  Your Creator knew just what He was doing, including the release of hormones to make you feel unified afterwards.  Now that is something to say WOO HOO about!

  However, it can be hard to switch gears from the Forbidden Fruit of touch during dating or courtship, to the FREE REIN of Marriage, after your I Do’s……

  Sex is an amazing gift from God, to be opened and enjoyed on your Honeymoon.  And as you know, any peeking or unwrapping of the “gift” before you make your Covenant with Christ, will just take away from the experience later.  {we covered this in yesterday’s post} 

  And on a more serious note, in the Spirit World your body and life, actually intertwine with your sexual partner.  This is why having sex with anyone else, just makes trouble. Their life and generational sins have a perfect tunnel right into your married life, like a toxic sewer system.  Breaking free from the bondage of those past relationships is as simple as an outloud prayer session in Jesus name.

  For those that waited to have sex until marriage, it may be hard to switch from the forbidden, or even dirty thoughts of sex, to fully embrace and enjoy it for the gift it is. 

  Sex is an act of Worship.  No joke!  It brings glory to our Creator when 2 become 1 flesh and we enjoy our spouses body.  {Woah baby, have you READ Song of Solomon?!}  He Created Sex for our pleasure, and He created it to keep you married in the tough times, ‘cause HELLOOOO, Make-Up sex is FUN!   

  I was photographing a wedding and was sad to hear Bridesmaids bemoaning how awful sex was to this virgin bride.  WHAT A TRAGEDY!  Sex is a beautiful, amazing, delightful gift to enjoy fully.

Let me share a story with you from Max Lucado:

    A newlywed couple arrived at their ‘bridal suite’ in the wee hours of the morning, after their wedding, with great expectations.  What they were met with was beyond disappointing.  Where were the flowers and fruit and chocolate…and more importantly, the 4 poster bed, they had seen in the brochure?  What a horrible mistake this must be.  Too exhausted – and preoccupied with the promise of the greatly anticipated love-making, they decide to take it up with management in the morning. 

  After an uncomfortable night on a lumpy pull-out sofa in the small, stuffy room, the new husband heads down to the manager’s desk to give him a piece of his mind.  After listening patiently for a few minutes, the desk clerk asks…

”Did you open the door, sir?”

  After sheepishly returning to his room in search of ‘the door’, they open what they had assumed was a closet door, and are left speechless by the extravagance that lays before them.  A stunningly decorated, spacious room, boasting fresh flowers and fruit, chocolates…and the sprawling 4 poster bed.

  Do NOT be afraid to Open this Door on your Honeymoon…….

First in communication!  

  I would strongly encourage you and your fiance, to have a very real conversation shortly before your wedding, about your expectations for your Wedding Night.  

  I can guarantee you, you both will want to approach it differently.  Part of the way God made men and women. 🙂  

  You ladies may be imagining that you will slowly kiss and make out, and ever so slowly lead up to sex.  If you kissed during your dating relationship, you may be imagining that at the point you used to stop, you simply won’t have to this time.  Your handsome hubby however, may be imagining that the second you get to the hotel, he will drop his pants, and help you out of yours before leaping into bed.  Talking about it ahead of time will help you both be on the same page.

  I was terrified of sex hurting.  I was scared to show Dale my naked body, and I was scared to see his.  We have always had really open communication, so I talked to him about it.  His kind words put me at ease, and you know what blessed me the most?  He said, as long as I can hold you and know you are mine at the end of the day, we don’t even have to have sex that first night.

  Did we have sex the first night?!

HECK YES.  

  But you know what, his words took all the pressure away.  He showed me his heart and allowed me to voice my fears to him ahead of time, totally calming my fears and making me feel safe and loved.  

  So, you’ve had your big day, it was everything you imagined it would be, you are tired of smiling, in fact, your cheeks probably even hurt!  Your feet ache from standing so long or dancing, and now that you CAN open your “Gift”, how does this thing called SEX work?

8 Ways to Turn The No No No’s

Into The Yes YES YES’S

On Your Wedding Night

1.  Take It Slooooooooooooow!

  On our honeymoon night, Dale and I got to our new to us home about 11:30pm.  We didn’t have a dance per church rules, so we just spent time greeting our 600 guests.  We didn’t get to even eat, so our sweet family packed us a picnic basket full of wedding food.  So, we had a carpet picnic on the floor of our bedroom, eating, laughing and talking about our big day.  This is also when we opened the box of Love Letters I had written Dale every birthday from age 13 on and read them to each other. From giggles at the 13 year old scrawl, to tears at the 17 year olds heart felt letter of love and affirmation…we connected heart to heart before we ever moved towards becoming one.

  I felt no pressure from Dale to rip off my clothes and jump into bed with him, although I am sure he would’ve loved that. As I mentioned above, he reassured me that we could wait until another night.

  We spent one night at home before leaving at 5 am for our flight to Maui.  Hindsight is 20-20, we probably would’ve waited one more day before flying out, just to have more intimate time together before a 12 hour flight.  That is a LONG flight when you are newlyweds. 

  Actually that is a long flight when you aren’t, but you know what I mean!  😉

  Starting slow means kissing and letting it progress slowly, over a period of time, except unlike your dating relationship, there are no brakes.  The Lord designed kissing to lead to deeper kissing, roaming hands, heightened breathing and sensation, for a reason.  Start kissing and watch it happen on its own.  No brakes! No brakes! 

2.  Use A Water Based Lubricant

  This will be your best friend at first, until you get everything worked out. Keep a bottle handy and use it every time, even reapplying during intercourse, as necessary. Nerves will make your body naturally a bit drier. This will remedy itself as your body gets used to intercourse.

3.  Stop After Entry

  I am trying to be as appropriate as possible while still talking about what I mean.  After your bodies become one, stop.  This is a fantastic time to ask your Creator to bless your union.  One of the things I love most about Dale, is from our honeymoon on, he is in the habit of asking the Lord to bless our union before moving forward.  Proclaiming to our Heavenly Father, his love for me and his thankfulness at our life and marriage.  It has always warmed my heart and made me feel cared for.

  Pausing after entry, will also allow the walls of your vaginal muscles to stretch around your husband, and allow for more pleasure and less pain these first months of sex.

4.  BREATHE!

  I am not going to lie, it does hurt at first.  But if you deep breathe, closing your eyes to focus on the good feelings that TOTALLY outweigh the pain of stretching, you can still achieve an orgasm and have some fun.  Breathing means oxygen, oxygen means more blood flow, and more blood flow means…..more FIREWORKS!

5.  You Might Not Achieve An Orgasm From Sex Alone

    Every body is so different, some women orgasm easily during sex, multiple times in fact! It’s super-duper fun if you are blessed with this, but sadly, it is not this way for everyone.  Some women may never orgasm from sex alone, and need some manual stimulation to achieve this.  There is nothing wrong with that, your spouse just needs to know what to do about it.

  Husbands, after you have finished, do NOT roll over and expect that she is done too.  If you haven’t heard her big finish, then it’s up to you to make it happen, Buddy!  This means touching, caressing and kissing her until she finishes, too.  There are some great books by Christian authors that you can read that can help you understand the female body.  And that brings me to my next point….

5.  Sex Is About Pleasing the Other Person

  When sex is about pleasing self, it doesn’t work right.  It basically becomes a self gratifying act to use the other person for your personal release.

  Sex God’s Way, means your entire focus is on pleasing the other person.  And when their focus is completely on pleasing you, and your focus is completely on pleasing them, and their pleasure, it means FIREWORKS for both of you!  And afterwards, both of you may bask in the after glow of it all, as those amazing hormones that was talked about yesterday, make you feel connected and in love! 

6.  Communication is KEY!

  Talking and having fun, is what this process is all about!  Sex is for enjoying each other.  Telling your spouse what you like and don’t like in the midst of intercourse, is key to the success of this physical union.  Your Spouse is not a mind reader!  Give ‘em some verbal cues, honey!

7.  Have A Naked Day

  Every honeymoon needs a Naked Day.  We went to Maui for 7 days, so towards the middle when we were tired and sunburned, we threw a Naked Day and stayed in our condo the whole day, no clothes allowed!  You are your own worst critic, so don’t be shy!  Your spouse loves your body and everything about it. 

8.  If At First You Don’t Succeed….

  Try, try again!

  Don’t be discouraged if this isn’t your Hollywood movie romance scene, that is a lie at it’s finest.  Things may not go to smoothly the first few times.  Laugh it off and try, try again.  Your personal love story is far better than anything Hollywood could ever script.  Throw out those preconceived notions and JUST HAVE FUN with your spouse, and know you are praising your Heavenly Father in your union.

  Can I get an AMEN! & a Hallelujah over here?!

~T

Shared with To Love, Honor & Vacuum’s: Wifey Wednesday!

 

 

 

 

Sex Before Marriage {Part 2}: The Chemical Side

  Welcome to Post 2, if you haven’t read Post 1: Sex Before Marriage: Everyone Is Doing It, RIGHT!? head over and get caught up!

 Now let’s cover the CHEMICAL side of why God designed sex for marriage only:

the chemical side of sex

  This article comes from www.christianpost.com and I am quoting this article in it’s entirety.

  Dopamine, Oxytocin and Vasopressin are three powerful and important products released during sex between a man and a woman in a committed relationship and helps couples bond. When they are introduced in casual sexual relationships, however, they can cause much trouble.

  Oxytocin, a hormone produced primarily in women’s bodies, helps women become bonded to the object of her affection. “When a woman has a child and she is breastfeeding, she produces lots of Oxytocin, which bonds her to her child….when skin-to-skin with her child.” explains the report. Working together, the two hormones and one chemical produced by the human body during sex helps to bond a man and a woman together for long-term relationship.

  “When someone is involved sexually it makes them want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of Dopamine – a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is your internal pleasure/reward system. When Dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember,” notes a Conquer Series report.

  So when a woman becomes intimate with a man, her body also releases Oxytocin and she becomes emotionally bonded to him.

  “Have you wondered sometimes why a woman will stay with a man who’s abusing her? We know now, it’s because she bonds to him emotionally, because of the Oxytocin release during sex,” the report said.

  Also referred to as the “monogamy hormone,” men produce Vasopressin which serves the same purpose as Oxytocin. “It bonds a man to a woman,” according to the report.

  But while these “bonding” agents are great for marriage relationships, they don’t work so well for dating relationships because “you lose your objectivity when you’re searching for your potential life mate.”

  According to neuropsychologist Dr. Tim Jennings in the Conquer Series report:

  “When you have premarital sex, your reward circuitry is bonded to them now, and it will be much deeper and hurtful. Oftentimes, in breakups of people who’ve been sexually active, they can’t tolerate the sense of emptiness, so they rush into another relationship. The neuro circuits did not have time to reset, and so they’re impaired in their ability to bond with the next person, and they may become sexually active with them. This is just a repetitive cycle, and there are real impairments in bonding going on.”

  “Knowing how these neurochemicals interact and change the brain help us understand why sex is meant [to be kept] within the boundaries of marriage,” the reported noted.

  “You see the overtones here about God’s design for His pure temple. This is another reason why the devil attacks our sexuality so much because in attacking human sexuality, it actually interferes with human bonding. So, for those practicing sex outside of marriage, they are creating a bond with their partner, thus inhibiting their discernment whether they should remain in that relationship. God wired and designed our brains for a specific purpose: to bond ourselves with the person we marry.”  

Gary Thomas, from the book Sacred Marriage:

  “At any given time, the female brain contains up to ten times more oxytocin than the male brain. Oxytocin is the bonding chemical that creates feelings of affection and empathy. You want to know why women tend to be more invested in close relationships than men? Oxytocin is one of the reasons.

  There’s only one time in human experience when the husband’s level of oxytocin begins to approach that of his wife’s: immediately following an act of sexual intimacy. A man’s brain literally re-bonds with his spouse, making him, at that moment, more committed to his family, more satisfied with his wife, more invested in his home. Wives, why do your husbands want sex with you so often (whether they know this is the reason or not)? It’s because they never feel closer to you than immediately following that encounter.”

  Another fascinating little fact that Dale heard on Christian radio one time, was that there were Scientific studies done on this subject, and they found that men do NOT release the same amount of Vasopressin in non-committed relationships, actually making them draw BACK from their sexual partner!  Yet another reason sex is for marriage only.

  God doesn’t ask us to refrain from Sex outside of Marriage to PUNISH us, He asks us to refrain from sex outside of Marriage to PROTECT us!

  Tune in tomorrow for a Honeymoon Night Pep Talk!
Saving Sex for Marriage: From Forbidden Fruit to Free Rein…..

~T

Sex Before Marriage {Part 1}: Everyone is Doing it, RIGHT!?

 Sex God's Way

  We live in a “IF if feels good, DO IT” world.  And with that, has come a shift of self-seeking, self-pleasing, self-honoring living.

  Believers are losing their way, because life is more focused on pleasing self, than God.

  The Bible is so so clear on the issue of sex and the beautiful gift it is, yet, so many God-fearing, Christian couples skip over that part of The Word.  Living together, sleeping together;  all before marriage…..

  “It’s just a piece of paper that makes sex legal,” the World tells us, “you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first, would you?”

  “You are going to get married anyways……” the devil whispers in the ears of engaged couples trying to wait but failing time and time again.

  But God says in John 14:23 “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching…..”

  Simply put, your obedience to God is a demonstration of your love for Him.

  Easy enough, right? 

  I know you and your boyfriend or girlfriend love each other, but God wants you to put your love for Him FIRST, before your future spouse!  This is a HUGE part of your life to come, and the very foundation your entire marriage and life together is built on.

  When you disobey the order that the Lord has laid out for you, you actually rob yourself of the blessings to come.  Not only that, anytime you disobey God’s directions there are always consequences to pay.

  I Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

  I will never forget my 8th Birthday. I had been playing Super Spy Girl and had found all 3 of my birthday gifts before my party.  I thought I was so cool!  I would often sneak into the closet to peek at them one more time in the weeks before my birthday. 

  Guess who was totally bummed on her big day?

Yup, me.

  I thought it would be awesome to know what I was getting for my birthday ahead of time, but I was sadly disappointed.  Sneaking a peek at my gifts had robbed me of the joy of experiencing them for the first time as I pulled off the wrapping.

    The Bible also states…….

I Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

  For this very reason, we are already encouraging our children to Court instead of Date, and to save their kisses for engagement, or the altar.  We also will be encouraging our children to have a short engagement to help control that desire until their wedding night.

  What if your fiance says you are NUTS? What if they tell you that they have needs, and they sure as heck aren’t going to start waiting for sex now!

  If your fiance does not receive what you are saying about sex before marriage, ignoring God’s commands in the process, then you may want to seriously reconsider your decision to get married. Not having the same passion towards pleasing God and obeying the Bible, will only get worse in the future, and will lead to a difficult, unequally yoked marriage.

  Let’s stop tip-toeing around the HUGE issue of these dating couples worshiping together in church, praising a God who they are BLATANTLY dishonoring in their sex-before-marriage life style.  And while we are at it, let’s stop being afraid to talk about sex inside of Marriage, where God created it to be enjoyed.    

    Let’s tell the World the truth – that Sex God’s way is far better than anything the they have experienced.

  It’s never too late for second chances, or becoming Born Again Virgins.  Christ’s death on the cross covered ALL our transgressions, including anything you have done sexually.  We ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  Let’s help each other see the truth and instructions to walk in freedom, outlined in God’s Word.   

for·ni·ca·tion (fôrn-kshn)  
NOUN:Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.

1 Corinthians 6:9-20  “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”

  “Sexual baggage doesn’t unpack itself, it simply slips into the bed beside you and makes connecting with your spouse in spirit and truth, that much harder to do.”  Joy from Simply Bloom

  Commit your relationship to the Father, deal with past sexual partners by praying in the name of Jesus and breaking those ties.  Do this out loud, together before marriage.

   The tears and forgiveness that follow will be a new kind of intimacy, and in the long run, keep your future marriage from being tainted from the connections to those other partners.  {more on this later in the week}

  Bountiful blessings flow when you do things God’s way, instead of the Worlds way…….

Now head on over to Post 2 and learn about the Chemical Side of Sex!

~T

More info on this subject here:

http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/what-does-the-bible-say-about-sex-before-marriage-510492.html

That 3 Letter Word…..

Today we are talking about a 3 letter word.

It begins a series on the “S” word………

SEX.

{Eeeeek!}

I know, I know, it makes people squirm and blush, but you all, as the Body of Christ, we have got to stop hiding and start talking about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have so much I want to talk to you about in this area, and I have even contacted a friend to guest post about this important topic.

We have already discussed talking to your kids about sex.  Honest and simple terms with no squirming or shaming them for asking.  If you missed it, you are in luck, your assignment for today, is to go read it here: The Birds & The Bees Post.

Birds-and-bees.jpg

  I have been working on this series for 2 months now, and I have to tell you, either I have “new car syndrome” {Where you see the new-to-you-car you now drive, EVERYWHERE!} or the Lord is prompting a lot of Christian writers to write about Sex lately.  It is EVERYWHERE!

So, here are the areas we will cover over the next few weeks:

Day 1:

Sex Before of Marriage {Part 1} : Everyone is Doing It, RIGHT!? 

Sex Before Marriage {Part 2}: The Chemical Side 

Day 2:

Saving Sex for Marriage: From Forbidden Fruit to Free Rein

Day 3:

Sex Within Marriage: Desire Not Duty

Day 4:

Being Intentional In The Bedroom: The 72 Hour Challenge

Day 5:

No More Excuses {Part 1}: Overcoming Inhibitions In The Bedroom

No More Excuses {Part 2} :  23 Ways To Turn Up The Heat

Day 6:

{Part 1} Returning to Intimacy After Betrayal 

{Part 2} Sex After Infidelity: 8 Steps To Success

Day 7:

Sexual Addiction: Roadblock to Intimacy

Resources For Sex Gods Way

This series is going to knock your socks, er…pants off?!

~T

red hot monogamy

The Birds & The Bees

Birds and bees

It’s that time at our house.

You know, time for “The Birds & The Bees” talk. 

  A few days before Destiny turned 9, she asked if maybe it was time for us to have a talk. 

“A talk?” I asked

“Ya, you know, about sex and babies and stuff.  I am ready to know how it all works.”

  We talked a bit more, and she asked some good questions.  I told her intelligent questions would be met with intelligent answers.  So I talked to Dale and we planned a little time with Destiny after the kids went to bed to explain things to her.

Here are some of the highlights: 

We used correct and simple terms. 

We showed her diagrams of male and female genitalia.  We told her girls have 3 holes: one for pee, one for poop and the one in the middle is for babies.  That babies are made inside the same hole they come out of.

  We showed a video of sperm racing to find the egg.  She thought it was super cool that the egg only lets one in {sometimes 2}, before closing up and going on a journey!  We talked about how God picks which sperm meets which egg, and they determine whether you have brown hair or blonde, are good at piano, are a night owl…..all things already planned out when the two meet.  

 

  This video is incredible!  It shows the miracle of life from conception without going into too much detail. 

“That happened when God made me? Neat!”

We told her sex was a beautiful gift for married couples to enjoy.  We told her it was fun, and it was perfect because the man and women parts fit together like a puzzle.

She said, Ew a few times, and Cool a few times.    

We told her that was normal.  🙂

   We pray every night over our children that they’d save themselves for marriage, and that they would hang on to their purity for the treasure it is.  Even almost 4-year-old Avery can tell you she doesn’t want a “Swiss Cheese heart” full of holes. She wants to save her whole heart and all her kisses for her husband.    Tylan prays that he would be a Godly man, and he prays for his future wife, that she’d be a Proverbs 31 wife and that she’d save herself for him. PRECIOUS.  We pray for Tylan and Paxton to have a covenant with their eyes not to look upon anything impure, that they will save themselves for marriage, heart, body and mind.

Guys, they are LISTENING! They are parroting back prayers that have been spoken over them all their lives.  If you haven’t already started praying for this, it’s not too late!  The power of prayer is incredible!  And what a great teaching tool.

  My response to Destiny was calm. 

Purposeful.

  I encourage you to take a similar approach. When mom or dad, stutter, stammer, avoid the subject, or act disgusted, you are telling them sex is dirty.  It is embarressing.  That they did something wrong, by even asking.   

This could not be further than the truth. 

Do you want them to someday take that unhealthy view of sex into their own marriage bed? Because they really will.

Sex is a beautiful gift from God, intended for married couples to enjoy as they become one body, one spirit, one flesh.  I want our children to understand how beautiful, amazing, and special it is.  God designed it to be mind-blowing.  It was intended for more than reproduction, it was intended for…PLEASURE.

    In a Sex-at-9 society, if we aren’t talking to our kids about sex, the world is. It’s being sold on TV and in just about every movie out there.  It’s being whispered on the bus ride home, it’s being tried out at boy-girl parties. Yes, as early as age 9. THAT, my friends, is highly disturbing.

  You have a choice:

YOU teach them about sex.

Or

The WORLD will.

  “Seize the opportunity while your children are young to start having conversations that will forever shape their sexual character.”    Mary Flo Riley, author of Simple Truths. 

Making It Meaningful

  The sex talk is obviously happening at age 9 at our house, but at age 13, we will take things a step further.  We plan to take each child on a special birthday date, talk more about purity, eyes, thoughts, flesh; all of it. We will help them write out some boundaries, review some verses about sex and God’s design for it.

  We will present them with a purity ring, just as my parents gave me when I was 13, and encourage them to write a birthday love letter to their future spouse each and every birthday. The girls love to read through my box of love letters to Dale, to try on my purity ring, which will one day be Destiny’s.

boxlove lettersring

  This ring is to remind them that purity is a beautiful gift, only given ONCE. 

  It’s never to late to start talking to your kids about saving themselves for marriage. Telling them about a little boy or little girl our there, RIGHT NOW, being prepared to one day meet them. To one day fall in love with them at the perfect moment in time, all ordained by the Great Author of LOVE Himself!

We Are Giving Our Kids An Incomplete Message!!!!

by Joy of Simply Bloom

  “The Bible speaks out so plainly against adultery and the misuse of sex, that it’s easy for a young Christian to misinterpret that to mean that sex as a whole is sinful.

In Christian circles we tend to spurt out the “sex is bad before marriage” anthem, without following it up with the “but sex after marriage will rock your socks off!” part.

So on their wedding day, a couple is expected to flip that switch to ‘sex is allowed…we now have a license’, and they spend the first few years of marriage floundering and silently struggling with what they’ve always been lead to believe: “God doesn’t want you to have sex…and He especially doesn’t want you to enjoy it!”. Resentment grows as they try and reconcile what they deeply desire in each other, and what they believe God expects of them.

“The marriage ceremony is simply insufficient to reorient one’s attitude from ‘Thou shalt not’ to ‘Thou shalt—regularly and with great passion!'” – Dr. James Dobson”

  Joy has a whole blog post written about this!  Go read it!!!!  Here are a few of my favorite points:

  • Start early:
    • Be purposeful & prepared.
      • Vital: When they do ask “those” questions, make a point of smiling and responding with I’m so glad you asked, sweetheart!. Don’t allow your response or body language to communicate that this is a taboo topic to talk about.
      • Children are unabashedly curious about their bodies and the differences between boys and girls, if you don’t answer their questions – eagerlythey’ll find someone else who will.
      • Help them recognize that their sexuality is a beautiful part of who they arefor later in life.
      • If we wait until our kids are older, we’ve lost a tremendous part of the battle: teenagers are naturally inclined to doubt and wrestle with everything we say. Do you really want to initiate the conversation then?
  • Define your message:
    • “This is what I want them to know/believe/value about sex”
    • Make the message your own – what is important and valued in your family – boil it down to a few overarching statements about sex.
    • Don’t make it sensual for little ones, just basic biology. The “dangers and pleasures” of the sex talk come later.
  • Examine your own sexual baggage – we don’t want to pass off our pain and baggage to our kids. Set it aside {or better yet, work/pray through it} and present the most positive picture.
  • Explain Reproduction:
    • Use everyday examples to teach them that “by God’s design…protected deep inside every living creature is the potential for new life
  • Explain Conception –Start painting the picture of sexual intimacy now…allowing them to first see only a hazy view of it…add detail and depth as they get older and more mature.
  • Continuing the Conversation:
    • When billboards or ads depict intimate moments between a couple, teach them that sexuality is very private and “no one should ever watch”…helps them know how to handle unexpected pornography exposure {which can show up astonishingly early}.
    • Show them how important the decisions they make are. Their teenage years are so short in relation to the rest of their lives, and yet the decisions they make during that time have huge consequences.

  Remember, give simple TRUTH in real terms, never undermining the beautiful, smokin’ hot gift from God, sex really is.

  ~T

Are you struggling with a healthy image of sex in your own marriage?  Then read this blog about Re-discovering RED HOT Manogomy by Joy of Simply Bloom.  It’ll make your toes curl.

Winking smile

IMG_4475

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