If you read my “Broken” post last week, then you know things are tough here right now. Really, really tough on all sorts of levels. In addition to everything else we are dealing with, we have an issue with the pump on our well, which randomly leaves the entire house waterless (at the most inopportune times of course), a lateral line that is crushed and needs to be dug and replaced so the sinks and showers stop backing up, and to top things off, the Tahoe died no less than 7 times yesterday, again in the most inopportune moments! I’m seeing $ signs and all I can do is trust that once again, the Lord will provide a pay check in time to take care of this.
Interestingly enough I had a message from an acquaintance that lifted my spirits. She was an upper classmen when I was at Central. Here is what she wrote:
Hi Tonya – I am praying for you! I dreamed about you Thursday night and woke up suddenly with a desire to pray. In my dream huge ants were stealing all kinds of stuff from your house, they had overtaken everything and you were powerless against them. I barely know you, but we are sisters in Christ. I just now skimmed through your “Broken” blog entry, and felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to tell you God is even waking up people that barely know you to pray specifically for you.
This is one of two messages I received from people being woke up to pray for me and my family.
Despite all these bumps in the road, we are still trucking along. I’d like to thank you all for your outpouring of messages, comments and prayers in response to my Broken post! You are such a blessing to my family & I!
I feel as if we have spent more of 2011 IN the Refiners Fire than out. Between continuing the journey through our year financial discipline (read that No regular paychecks yet no bounced checks, praise His name!) and this newest heartbreaking development that I referred to in Broken, the heat is ON! I know God disciplines those He loves, and that as we experience the pain of the Refiner’s Fire and Him chipping away at the dead weight in our lives, we may cry out “Stop! It’s too much!”….but, in the end, when something new and better emerges, we’ll be thankful; when beauty comes from the ashes, it will all be worth it.
This “chipping away” at the dead weight, is illustrated beautifully here:
God’s Chisel: http://skitguys.com/index.php?/videos/item/gods-chisel
I can’t get it to attach, but please, just take a quick moment and go watch it. Please? Then come back, I’ll wait.
Ready to go on? Did you find a kleenex to wipe away your tears? Wasn’t that an INCREDIBLE illustration of what God wants to do in our lives?
God is making me His Masterpiece so He can use me to do great things. Little ol’ me. Woah.
It’s so disheartening to me, that the Sunshine of Tonya-land is not shining as brightly as it used to. In fact, some days it’s completely hidden by a wall of dark, foreboding rain clouds. This is not how I choose to live my life, it’s not! But here I sit, in the rain, miserable at times, as I deal with a circumstance I feel unable to control. Dealing with several circumstances I AM unable to control, actually….Man, I hate that!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another lesson I suppose: Giving Up Control.
I cling to the hope that you have to first have Rain to see Rainbows, and I have to believe that I will have my “Birds Always Singing, Sun Always Shining, Lemons Come in the Form of Lemonade” Life once again.
I miss it. Tonya-land was a really nice place to live.
I don’t know much right now, but I do know this…….
I, Tonya, am a Child of the King. An original masterpiece. This chipping away process has to happen in order for others to see Christ in me.
Sometimes you run towards Christ,
Sometimes you can’t run, so you walk towards Him.
If you can’t walk, you stand, facing the right direction.
If you can’t stand, lean.
Lean on Him, for He IS the right direction.
And if you fall?
Fall on Jesus.
In Him there is hope, life, and the promise of a bright future.
Face down at the feet of my Savior,