The Prodigal Spouse: Because God is BIGGER Than Your Divorce Papers

the prodigal spouse

Luke 15:11-32

New Living Translation (NLT)

Parable of the Lost Son

11 A man had two sons. 12 The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

13 “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. 14 About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. 15 He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. 16 The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.

17 “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, 19 and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

20 “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. 21 His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.[a]

22 “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. 23 And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, 24 for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, 26 and he asked one of the servants what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’

28 “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, 29 but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. 30 Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’

31 “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 32 We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”

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  I have always loved this parable, it’s a powerful story of love and forgiveness.  It was originally told by Jesus to the Pharisees, for they had hardened their hearts, and forgotten to REJOICE when a sinner returns to God.  It also shows the bitterness and resentment that can come when unforgiveness occurs, as shown by the angry older brother.  How dare younger brother be treated so well, despite his rebellion.  This attitude blinds him to the treasure of the ever-loving Father he has in his life.

  The Younger son WAS a rebel, it’s true.  He was stupid. He was selfish, self-seeking.  He had a great life, yet he chose to leave it for a different scene.  He was a drunken, rebellious fool. He lived a wild, sinful, sexual life, with “friends” that only stuck around as long as the drinks and parties were coming.   He was quite frankly, an idiot!  And he paid a price!

Sin always comes at a cost.

  But do you know what I love MOST about this story?

Once he reached rock bottom, feeding the pigs he wasn’t even allowed to TOUCH based on his Jewish upbringing, wishing he could eat with them in their slop pail….

He turned towards HOME. 

He found His Father, and a safe place to fall.

  So how does this apply to your broken marriage?  To the spouse that has gone astray in a World of partying, sexual sin and drunkenness?

  Did you notice in the story that the Father saw his son from a great distance on the road?

Do you know what that tells me?
   That months and months later, he was watching with expectation, for a son he was believing in Faith, would return.

  What is God asking of You?

Is He asking you to wait and watch expectantly for your Prodigal Spouse to come Home?! 

To come home to YOU, to come home to his or her FAITH, to their Father in Heaven in total brokeness and repentance? To come home to grace, love and forgiveness?

Or are your arms crossed, back turned to the road?  You don’t deserve to be treated like this.  Your Spouse made their choice, its time to “move on”.

  Think about it, don’t you think this Father was questioned by his loved ones, friends and family? Look, even his other children thought he was nuts to welcome this child home!!! 

  The Parable doesn’t go into these details, but you can imagine that before this part in the story it went something like this:

  “DAD! What the heck are you doing out here, watching the road again?????  Even when you work and do chores, I see you glancing up…..don’t you get it? He is NEVER coming back!
And you know what, even if he did, he doesn’t deserve us. You gave him everything, and look at the thanks you got…..HE LEFT YOU! Took your money and ran.  He is partying it up and having a grand ol’ time.
He made his choice. MOVE ON, Father!  This is unhealthy!”

  When our Spouses stray, the World shouts at us to move on.

No, not just the World…

Loved ones.

Even Pastors give us the go ahead on divorce at times.

  Never forget, that these people are only human, and that even good friends, can give BAD advice, with great intentions!

  So I beg you, don’t sign those papers your Spouse sent your way.  Don’t give them or satan the satisfaction of yielding so quickly.  Instead, hit your knees and ask your Heavenly Father for your Prodigal Spouse to come home.

  Believe in faith, that one day, they WILL hit rock bottom and find Jesus again.

  And find you not only waiting, but watching the road SO intently, that while they are still in the distance, you spot them and shout out for the feast to begin……

Waiting with SUCH forgiveness and surrender of what is right or fair, that you can run with open arms to forgive them and start anew.

Dales ring

  We serve a God of RESTORATION.

Total and complete!  

I know, I am living it.  That is Dale’s new wedding band pictured above.  Read our story,  here.

Why are we as the Body of Christ preaching any other message?! !

God is BIGGER than the 51% divorce rate.  Are we enabling our friends with our words?

“He doesn’t deserve you….”

“You deserve better than this…..”

“Its time for you to move on….”

“She made her choice…..”

Are you the older son with hardened heart slamming the door on second chances in the name of what is “fair” or “right”? 

The self-righteous Pharisee who needed this parable to remember the message of Grace and Forgiveness, of REJOICING when the lost is found? 

Are you the one that strayed?

  The father in this story is a picture of our Heavenly Father. The Lord waits patiently, with loving compassion to restore us when we return to Him with humble hearts.  In fact, He throws a joyful celebration!!!!! He welcomes you with open arms and NEVER, EVER holds your past against you.

  Are you represented best by the father that never stopped watching for love to come home?

LOVE will find its way HOME.

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Have faith. 

  For His Love endures forever…..

May we be the Servant in this story, that runs with joy to prepare a Welcome Home feast for our friends broken Marriages RESTORED.

May we be the Father in this story, that never stops watching for our wayward spouse to come HOME.

And may we never, ever be like the Pharisees, or the older brother, and forget the beauty of SECOND CHANCES!

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  For that my friends, is the power of the Cross……

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~T

  I understand some of you didn’t CHOOSE divorce, it was chosen by your spouse.  Some of you didn’t have any fight left in you, so away you signed.  It’s ok.  Do not lose heart, there is grace and forgiveness extended;  for God is a God of Restoration, total and complete.  When your Marriage ended, His plan for your life did not.  He still has plans to give you hope and a future!

I read a beautiful blog post on this subject the other day, and I quickly came to this scheduled post, to add these verses and thoughts by my friend, who is also named Tonya…..

She says:

  I urge you…before you even consider the “D” word, please do everything possible.

For desperate situations, a legal separation may be in order.

 1 Corinthians 7:5 “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife…..”  

Our Father’s heart hurts to see His children feel the consequences of divorce.

Follow up post:
Having An “Even If” Faith

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153 thoughts on “The Prodigal Spouse: Because God is BIGGER Than Your Divorce Papers

  1. Wow!!! What a post. I have really been on my knees praying for my marriage!!!! Why is it that we pray for something and GOD answers and then we go back to living “OUR” life and make things work for “US”?!?!?! But, I have been praying for us, praying for the LORD to help us put the past IN the past. Funny, I have one of those daily calendar things for wives. And this weeks have all been encouraging and praying for your husband to put his past behind him and trust in the LORD!!! I should not be surprised that this is what your blog post would be on today. The LORD always brings to me what I need to hear at that time in my life. I LOVE that he does that. Not that he would slap you, but sometimes I think it is one of those behind the head sort of ones. Like “I told you I would take care of you. Why can’t your just trust that I will!?!?!”
    ❤ you girl,
    {{hugs}}

  2. What a wonderful post! I aspire to show the love and faith that the father showed. Divorce is not an option for my husband and I. Great wisdom shown through a biblical stance. I must do better about enabling my friends. Thanks for posting!!

  3. Thanks Tonya. This will be great to share at bible study this morning! Thank you for teaching boldly, for being an encouragement to other women and for sharing the wisdom that you have gained throughout your marriage!

  4. What an amazing post! I can’t thank you enough for your wisdom and christian insight!! You are doing a great work! Thank you for sharing so we all can learn and improve our marriages!

  5. You got it. Don’t let Satan win, fight for your marriage. Today is the feast of Guardian Angels. Ask them to guard and protect your marriage.

  6. I hate divorce but I went through one and it was the best thing that could have happened in my situation. After many years of prayer God gave me a way out and His OK. God restored 100 times over what the devil stole. He is so full of grace and mercy. I adore my husband this is the man that God chose for me.

      • No I am not married to my first husband but I waited to hear from God. My current marriage is a blessing and beauty for ashes. We have the privilege of leading marrieds groups at church and I always counsel couples to seek Him first.

    • If any of you believe that God will bless you with an second or third marriage after you wrongly divorce your previous husband, think again. How can he bless a union he calls adultery? Read Paul’s statement about wives not leaving their husbands, but if they do, they are to remain unmarried or reconcile. Jesus also taught that only third party adultery could be grounds for divorce. Paul taught that if an unbeliever leaves because of one’s Christian faith, one may divorce, but then, one must still remain unmarried or reconcile with that same leaving spouse.

      • I don’t condone divorce. It was never something that I wanted. I was under pastoral counsel and prayer for many many years. After restraining orders and other very unpleasant things, I needed to keep my daughters safe. Everyone’s situation is different but still valid. Thankfully we serve a merciful, forgiving, good good Father who forgives and erases our sins if we are truly repentant and turn from our sin. He will continue to bless us. I have now been married for 10 years to a godly man and while my marriage is thriving my ex is still stuck in the pit of drugs. (I do pray for him) If we turn from our sin and repent He is just to forgive and you better believe He will continue to bless us all the days of our lives. He IS a good good Father. He will never leave us or forsake us and only He can truly see what is in our heart not Paul or any other earthly person. Let’s leave the judging for God and not say things that can come off as judgmental over a person who is going through this very painful lonely time in their lives. We need to pray for each one, lift each other up, and ask God to give us all the strength, guidance, and wisdom that only He can give.

      • This was very timely and powerful! My husband just asked me 2 days ago if I would sign and I said NO! I dont want a divorce and I’m not quitting bc I know that as soon as I give up, my blessing was right around the corner. I’m waiting on God!

  7. 🙂 This is beautiful. I was a prodigal spouse… and my husband held tight to me through his prayers. I have a friend who also strayed and her husband just let her go… the pain she is living {even as she says she is “having fun”} is a living testimony to this post. It was one of the hardest things I did to turn back to him… because I was angry and bitter {and full of shame}… but God softened my heart, gave me Love for him, spoke gently to my shame… and 6 months later we are still working on loving one another more and more… because of what GOD did!! It is never too late! It is never too far! It is never completely lost. Thanks for this!

    • Thank you so very much for this post , because I here so much on the husband leaving and not the wife. Married 23 years wife cheated twice left for 4 months God brought her back through praying and fasting now 5 years later abandons the family again but for another female and her 14 year old daughter leaving me with our 4 kids, our kids are devastated again like before, she has now left the other relationship and has been gone 5 month’s now, My 50th birthday was in November and was sent a text that said hope you enjoyed your day, Thanksgiving she was not here and December she celebrated 40th birthday..and we both love the Lord the level of bitterness and hatefullness is is like never before , but I believed God even tho this is her second time with abandonment and adultery. We just recently found her on Facebook tagged in other photos celebrating Thanksgiving kids were devastated. But if God did it before he can do it again He is the God of Agains

    • I am praying for my husband and expecting him to come home any time. I thank God everyday fir what he has done because we needed a change an for what He is doing now because I see Gods hand everyday in my life and when I see my husband in his life too and esoecially for what God is going. To do which is restore our marriage. Satan will not kill steal severe ir destroy what God put together. And I know God brought us together. Satan is a liar and Gid is victorious! Amen

    • Just curious cause right now my wife has decided after 15 years of marriage and being together 17 she wants a divorce and her lawyer has all the paperwork ready to go but she hasnt filed yet we have 4 kids together and its hard on them extremly none of us understand why mom has decided this besides of our past….i pray every day multiple times a day and i practice the fruits of the spirits. The kids dont understand why mommy dont love daddy no more and neither do i …we just celebrated our anniversary in sept and it was awesome..i know her heart is hardened and she doesnt want to change right now plus we are still living together which makes it hard plus the holidays…..my question to u is how long before god started working on your heart….its been 2 months for this so far and things are really hard cause she has completely cut me off….im patiently waiting for god to speak to her and change her heart…..please pray for my marriage

      • Dear Richard. God’s timing is the best. He is never late, nor early, He is ALWAYS on time! Have faith and trust in His promise. He is God of restoration.

  8. While I agree with the sentiment of this post, it does strike a cord of hurt in me. I am a faithful believer and my relationship with Christ is very important to me. I hold marriage very highly, higher than most, yet I have been through divorce, twice.

    Does God do amazing and wonderful miracles in marriages every day? Yes, I have seen it happen. Does God save every marriage, no, He does not. It takes two people committed to loving God and each other to make that happen.

    Both of my marriages failed. It was not because I was unwilling to wait upon the Lord or seek biblical counseling and prayer. Years of both did nothing to change the situation. I would still be married if it were not for the concern for my and my children’s safety.

    There are times I feel judged for this. Should I feel the need to explain embarrassing and upsetting details to feel accepted, not looked down upon, or accused of committing a sin when I did what I could to protect my children?

    I don’t know of it is biblical or not, but I do know that I have the peace of God. He rescued me out of the miry clay and from the depths of despair.

    Please know this isn’t meant to call out the blog, but I do feel the need to say that sometimes divorce does happen. Is it God’s plan, absolutely not. Lying on the bathroom floor in tears, desperately crying out to God, praying for restoration of my marriages didn’t change my spouse. Only He could. I rejoice for those that have had the miracle of a restored relationship with their spouse, I wish it would have happened in my circumstance.

    • Thank you for sharing your heartache with us. You are amazing, and I love your attitude about this subject…..
      There was no judgement meant for those already divorced. There are those reading with divorce papers lying on their desk, taunting them. I want them to be encouraged to fight with all they have to save their marriage! Thanks for your comment. Hugs!

      • I would also encourage those to fight to save the marriage. Divorce always causes more heartache, no matter what the situation is that is threatening the marriage. Thank you for your kind words. You are such a sweet and kindhearted person. I felt no judgment here.

      • My husband has served me with divorce papers, but I don’t have a choice in the matter. If I don’t sign the judge will just grant him the divorce. We have only been separated for two months and I have been standing, and praying and seeking God in that time. I do believe God will restore my marriage in his own time, when he has changed not only me but my husband as well. But in the meantime I don’t have an option of not signing the papers when the time comes.

    • I agree with you anonymous. .divorce is needed sometimes and as much as God doesnt want us to divorce, He also doesnt want us to stay in a marriage and suffer. There has to be a balance.

    • Hugs to you. I am right there with you. I completely understand your thoughts. God loves us just as much as any other of his daughters (single, married or divorced) and he is just as proud of us. We are still the apple of his eye. That will never change. I don’t wish my first marriage would have been restored because my husband now is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He loves me and my girls unconditionally and is a TRUE gift from God and now we walk in the Lord’s blessing, grace and favor each and every day together.

    • That’s how I feel and this is my second marriage, so i’m fighting even harder and more spiritually than i did my first marriage. So blessed those that their prayers get answered and they are restored, and they stay. But what about the ones that don’t what is the determining factor, did we pray any less or was less worthy? No, I’m sure so what is it? I know for me if this ends in divorce that’s it, no men marriage none of the above for me. Twice was hard enough to have failed and Im much older and can’t deal withe the false hope, stress, and all that it takes to make a relationship work in these wicked final days.

  9. Very beautifully written Tonya! The Prodigal Son is one of my favorite Bible stories. I can never EVER teach it to children without choking up! Thanks for sharing this inspiring, thought-filled, godly post that God will use to changes lives and hearts. Sweet Blessings on you Hon, for all you do to encourage all of us in the Lord. XO

  10. Reading on divorce always strikes a hurt deep in my heart. I’m 30 now and have been happily married for 3 1/2 years to a wonderful man. He comes from a strong, faithful, loving family that has seen each other through several difficult trials. However, when I was 17 (my sister, 15, and my brother, 13), my parents announced just before Thanksgiving that they were separating because “they just didn’t love each other anymore”. I know of no infidelity, abuse, or otherwise, just that they seemed to have given up on their marriage. They divorced 5 years later when child custody was no longer an issue. I’m still hurt by their decision. I cannot rationalize it, and it’s not Biblical. Why would you not fight for it, rather than giving up on a 20+ year marriage that had seen good and bad? I know divorce will NEVER be an option for us. I have seen what it does to a family, and I never want to experience that again. No matter what my husband and I face, we will always face it together with the strength that comes from God. (A cord of three strands…)

    • I totally agree with you and I am standing for my marriage as my husband walked out on me and his kids 3 months ago without a look back.He is now someone else and I pray every day for God to send him back to me with open arms. I have forgiven everything and only God could have done that to my heart because before this things that have bothered me would linger for a long time but now,no resentment,anger or jelousy.Its really hard standing but I believe the Lord called me to stand because until this happened I would not have know what standing was,never heard of it before.

    • Yes katie I totally agree. My husband walked out at 25 years of marriage. Our children were 21,18 and 14. They were so hurt. 5 years later they are still dealing with the consequences. I know you wrote this awhile ago but I wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. Two of children who are married will never let the d word in their marriage. God bless you.

  11. I just now got to read this blog post. WOW!! Thank you for including my blog post! How sweet of you! I wish we had more time to spend together! You are a blessing!! I loved spending Thursday and Friday evening with you! Thank you for your boldness in sharing Christ with the world!

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  15. This is my story please pray for i still call her wife to return home all i hear is negative and quit but i refuse its time to be a family again thank you

    • Keep working to woo her, win her heart, show her you are still standing firm on the foundation of your marriage, the covenant you made with Christ before a crowd of witnesses. And never ever stop praying, ask God to soften her heart, to open her eyes to see the changes in you. Show her you are different in both word and deed. Great job fighting for your marriage!

      • This is my story as well… standing for my husband to come home. For his heart to be softened, for his eyes to be open to the sin around him and for the other woman to open her eyes as well. I’m not signing the papers.

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  18. I was reading your blog for encouragement, thank you for sharing your story. My husband left me and our 3 sons, after he left I discovered I am pregnant. I am feeling so lost and lonely. My husband moved in with a another woman, she is a christian and prays for my husband and I ask myself everyday if God is answering her prayers because he has cut off all communication with us. It was his birthday yesterday, the kids were hoping he would call so they would wish him a happy birthday but he didn’t. He changed his cellphone number so we can’t get hold of him. Ladies please help me pray for my marriage. I’m drowning in all this misery!

    • I am going thru similar things standing for my wife to come home remember nothing is to big for God he heals the blind delivers from fire walks on water i know it hurts let him take your hurts Jesus i pray that you would help this woman in her time of despair give her peace and hope Lord soften his heart remind him and guide him back to his family i thank u for this marriage being restored as we speak so u can have the glory and praise and remember sister nomatter the circumstance our God is bigger than them all

      • And sister im not judging but she isnt much christian being with your husband so dont worry about that God has this under control

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  23. Im trying so hard in prayer to restore my marriage, my prodigal adulterous spouse and i have no communication and I feel all is lost he has 1 or more women and I think he is enjoying this lifestyle and freedom. Im more grounded and still have fun, but we had trust issues because of his constant lies and adultry. It ruined our marriage and my adult kids hate him now and he them for what he did. My kids only stood up fdr me because of his treatment and betrayal to me after all the financial and love support i gave him for 6 years and he cheated all 6. its all so ugly and he is so self centered and has way too much pride, I pray for change in him, but the devil has him good. I dont want to stop praying but it doesnt look good. I cant be made to look like a fool and i deserve better, some feel if he comes back he will use and hurt me again and others ay he will change and yet some say he will stay gone, i love him so much, i know in my heart he can be worthy but he craves to much of this crazy life.. im better now with praying i w as mess 2 months ago, but i have my break down moments holidays etc,, i miss him so.. its hard to feel like it will be restored, and if so will he hurt me a gain..

    • When he truly changes, you will know, the change will be seen in his actions, words, even his eyes will be different. Ask the Lord if you are to walk away for a season, always speaking love and hope for the future to your spouse. BUT, he cannot change or want to change if he has the best of both worlds, wife and mistress.

      • How will i know if the lord answers me, thats also my torment. I feellike I’m praying for restoration, but what if GOD feels my spouse had his chance with me and is not worthy of me, and he wants me away from him. i know GOD hates divorce, but also wouldn’t he part me from a spouse who he may feel can’t or will not be save or change. I feel like its such a fine line.. That torments me more, am i to stay and pray or move on.. Which is GODS desire for me? ughhhhhh.

        Also us not talking is killing me, i ran into him twice and we didn’t acknowledge each other, I know alot has to do with THE other woman(en) and we still haven’t spoken about a divorce, which we should if he has no desire to be a spouse. Its so hard that someone you loved and shared your life with now has no respect for you an acts as though i don’t exist. Especially when he was the adulterer and left me. I spend many nights upset that some other woman is being intimate with my husband. It just aint right.

      • Gods plan for you life is to bring you hope and a future. It would be terrible to be made to feel invisible and I am sorry you are dealing with this. The Lord always answers, maybe its to wait and be still and let Him move and work, just trusting Him for each step as it comes. You dont get a bright lit path at times like this, just a beam of light that shines ONE step ahead in the darkness. BUt we know, He never leaves us or forsakes us, so we never walk alone.
        Second marriages get tricky, because I don’t know if God plans for restoration of the original covenant or if He holds us to the second one made. You dont need me to tell you what to do, He will show you, in a way you can understand when the time is right. If you feel like He is not working, dont worry or fear, it just means he is moving around behind the curtain to prepare for the next scene of your life story.

      • also the best of both worlds your reply on mistress and wife, what if he’s content with his new norm, mistress, mistress & mistress… no wife in the equation, no obligations just being out there with as many as he wants.. so change isn’t needed if he doesn’t need the wife & mistress, just the mistress & mistress..
        And honestly on a scale from 1-10 how many prodigals actually do go back to their spouse? And if so why? What;s that come home factor?

      • Hm, good question. I dont have the answer, just the call to share that there is another way God is calling us too. He is asking us to wait and trust and be patient and forgive and breathe and live, even when we can’t see how it will all work out.
        If the husband stays with mistresses, then its only a matter of time until he reaps that harvest of sin. The wife is responsible for only herself on the day of judgement, whether she was true and noble and pure in her walk with Christ. We just can never stop praying for those wayward spouses, never stop watching the road, believing one day, they will come home to us. And even if they don’t….we will be blessed beyond measure for doing our part right and in a God honoring way.

  24. Hi, today my heart is heavy as my husband and I are divorced. I will not go into the reasons why as they really do not matter because the results are the same which are a broken home/family. We were married for 10 years and my husband decided to walk away. For those who have experienced divorced you know the hurt and pain divorce creates. I heard God ask me to stand for my marriage and their is no way I can shun His presence in my life. At times I resent God for asking me to stand for my marriage especially since my husband has no intentions of saving or interest in me nor the marriage. I do believe my husband loves God and that he has a relationship with Christ. I am not sure why God has me on this journey but I do know that I have to be faithful to what He has asked of me. I wear my wedding ring not for my husband but as proof of my commitment and covenant both my husband and I made when we got married. I believe God sees us as one flesh and that even though one part has been drawn away by their own lust God expects the stronger one to keep faith and stand firm trusting in Him. Its not a pleasant or pretty journey and I can say with all heart that it is a very lonely walk/journey. I was reminded by a song I use to sing and the lyrics says – If no one will go Lord send me….when I sang these lyrics I believed in what I was singing…Its easy to sing these lyrics when all is well its another to sing this with praise when you are asked to walk the walk and talk the talk. God hates divorce and as His example her on earth I must stand against a world that says get on with your life and move on. We live in a throw away world/society and it is tempting to do just that but in the end I know I would have disappointed my Lord and I realise that at the end of the day I want Him to say well done after my race is over. Who ever this will help please trust our Lord as there is nothing to hard for God…just remember He may not always do things the way we are expecting. Remember His ways are not our ways. Be encourage and let go and let God.

    • I was inspired by your testimony. I too am facing an unwanted divorce after 26 years of marriage in a Christian home with 6 beautiful children. God has called me to stand for my marriage. The more I study, the more I am convinced the covenant we entered into must be honored by the spouse that is seeking restoration. We must trust Him with our lives and be a light in a world of darkness. Use this season to draw closer to Him and allow Him to do a good work in our lives as we stand in the gap for our prodigal spouse.

    • Ann, I just read your message even though it was last year. I have been married 28 years. I have been standing 23 years. He came to the Lord. Then took off last year and left me. He now divorced me
      yesterday. I am devastated. Hurt, pain. I prayed straight 23 years. done all I knew. But he is living with parents who pay for the divorce, give him everything his heart desires materially. Cars, tvs, computers, etc. He does not pay rent or bills. He does not want to provide. Why would he ever want to come back to me to pay rent, and struggle that’s what he says. He has no feelings for me or God he says. So sometimes in different situations it must be time to give up.
      I don’t know what to do now.

    • My wife filed for divorce in August,our lawyers are in the middle of negotiations. We have 3 small children 2,5,7 yrs old. Keep us in prayer,I’ll do the same. Also remember papers are just papers.

      • Tony don’t give up! Have you been to Rejoice Marriage Ministries website? This ministry has been a great source of comfort me during my stand.

  25. My wife left me in mid-March and said she was “done living in a loveless marriage” after we had a very bad three years with me on anti-depressants that made me not care about anything and her demanding answers and affection that I didn’t give her. She had said that she’d asked God to put a roadblock in her way if He didn’t want her to leave (?) and has said that she didn’t believe God wants people to be in bad marriages. I hit rock bottom about two weeks after she left as I was being taken off the medication and drinking every night, on top of the panic I was already feeling. I cried out to God and have turned my life over to Him; what a blessing He’s been! I wrote a very heartfelt reconcilation letter, that I gave her the first part of May, where I admitted all of the mistakes I made and asked her forgiveness, with no response. I’ve heard anything from “I’ll give him six months to change or I’m filing” to “I’m never going back” to “We have a one-year lease, so I have that much time to make up my mind”, not from her, but family/friends. I have very little contact with her (and it’s usually by phone or text because our son is with her) and she seems to be getting on very happily with her life, yet I struggle with moderate to severe anxiety and being woken up (by Satan I believe) at 3 am every night with negative thoughts toward her. I pray many, many times a day for her and our marriage. Now I believe she is seeing someone else, but then again, that just may be Satan himself getting in my head. Though I am agitated and frustrated as I write this, I love my wife very much and it’s very difficult to accept that she would simply walk away from 28 years. I am standing for my marriage and would refuse to sign papers if I got them because I know “God hates divorce!”. It’s very hard to stay committed and focused on any positive outcome of this. I would appreciate your prayers!

    • Keep your chin up, and keep claiming those promises from God. Satan has no place in your head, or your room at 3am. Bind him and cast him out in the name of Jesus. outloud!
      You know, this is such a tough subject, one many people are struggling with. There are so many verses in the Bible that point to reconciliation and restortation, but there are varying verses on divorce. Be watching for “Having An ‘Even IF’ Faith”, coming July 16th…

      • I certainly have been binding Satan with “It is written!”, every night. I just keep getting up each day and pray several times every one of them. Divorce hasn’t been discussed at all at this point and I do know that He hates divorce! I trust God is working on her heart, that she will see that Satan as the enemy, not me! Prayers would be appreciated and thank you!

    • Hello anonymous, I am going through exactly what you are going through except my wife has filed for divorce. Final court hearing is November 14.
      I love my wife and 4 children with all my heart and soul.
      Also asking our Lord for a miracle, save our marriage, and our family.
      God bless you!!!

      • I just prayed for you and your family, my brother. I’ve been praying every day for over six months now that God would work in me and in her heart. She knows where I stand and two weeks ago she ripped me on the phone for past mistakes, so obviously she can’t forgive me, yet I called her this past Saturday just to see how her week went and the conversation was civil. I asked her what her thoughts were about spiritual warfare, that Satan was trying to destroy our marriage and family. She said she believed in it and I asked her to think about praying with me about it. Though I’m trusting that God is working, I’ve decided to call her every weekend until she tells me otherwise. I certainly don’t want to push her, and perhaps she’ll see the changes in me. I pray that He gives me the patience to wait on Him, but then, what else am I going to do? If you haven’t found them, I would direct you to Rejoice Marriage Ministries and Covenant Keepers, both are helpful resources for standing for your covenant marriage. Keep in mind that God hates divorce and marriages can be restored even after divorce.

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  27. Hi Tonya. I was looking for testimonies about marriage and that’s how i found myself here. I couldn’t stop reading the infidelity series. I’m across the Atlantic from you and your words have encouraged me to keep on until the lies stop! I cant wait for my spouse to have the truth written on his heart and we can move on. I tried to do talking and correct ting and setting up boundaries. Now I’ve decided that God is really going to bring us to the hour of our testimony and one day ill ask him to read these blog posts. Thanks for this. I’m off to look for more testimonies.

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  31. Hi, I’m dealing with an unwanted divorce right now. My wife has been a prodigal to me around 9 times now and I’ve waited on God’s miracle each and every time. He delivered her back to me against unspeakable odds before but this time it feels like it is finally over and that He has no more miracles left in keeping for us. My wife is like another husband discussed here. She’s got two men, and for all I know there could be more, on the go both of whom obviously don’t respect her. I prayed ceaselessly for weeks and was blessed with a very brief reconciliation but that ended poorly. It is encouraging to read restoration stories, but I am beginning to fear that this is one marriage that The Lord doesn’t want saved. Please pray with me that I’m wrong.

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  33. Good word… I had written a blog post called “All My Divorces” because it was not just my divorce that hurt me…it was my mom’s and my grandparent’s divorce too. I am thankful for my 2nd husband of 3 years. Such a wonderful leader. But before that I fought for my 1st marriage up until he married someone else on a whim. I had so hoped it would be restored. (He was an unbeliever I married when I was not yet converted) Sadly, some cannot be reconciled. But I think we should wait, pray, and fight as best we can!

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  36. Praise God! So this is the third time I am attempting to write a response to your blog. The enemy will not get the victory today!! I happened to have stumbled on your blog today not by happen stance but because it was a God appointed moment. My nightmare started on 9/23/2012 as my husband sat in our cabin on our honeymoon cruise and told me that he no longer loved me and would be leaving me. While he would not admit it he was having numerous affairs. I heard my heart shatter into microscopic piece as I replayed the words he said to me in my head.

    My heart ached as I could not believe what I was hearing. After we returned home the Lord has awaken me in the wee hours of the night asking me to cry out to him ( please note that I’d been running from him for months as I struggled with my faith for a while).I poured out my heart and repeated his word back to Him and it was in that moment that I heard in my spirit that he would restore us.He promised that he would heal my marriage. My husband eventually left and was gone for 7 months. And after I was to relocate for work he decided to return home and try to make things work. I was hesitant to allow it however, I chose to obey and allowed him to come back home.

    Things seemed to be progressing and He decided we should have another child we quickly got pregnant and gave birth to another healthy baby girl. Well… while this should be a happy moment in our lives at 6 weeks postpartum he decides he no longer wants to be home and that he still does not love me. I found myself on my knees again asking for direction however, I’d already secretly in my mind decided that I was going to sign the d papers if he decided to file them. A few night ago I asked the Lord for a sure sign and I wanted to hear and read the words from someone who was or has gone through what I was going through.that it is his will to restore our marriage and family.This morning with out looking I came across your blog and this post specifically. I knew this was God telling me that He will still fulfill his promise. I was even sure of that when I saw my husband’s wedding ring which he’s removed for sometime now sitting in the box on your blog. I knew that was God confirming the word He’d placed in my spirit.

    I sincerely thank you for following God’s leading and sharing your life with the world.

    Hearts and Hugs,

    T

  37. My husband asked for a divorce a few months ago telling me he wasn’t happy, loved me but wasn’t in love with me, accused me of being a bad mother and wife, the list goes on. he says there’s no one else but if ound out there is. He denies it. We have young children that he’s seen only a handful of times, even if that, in the past few months. My heart is broken. Part of me wants to work it out, he doesn’t though. The other part wants to just move on. What to do is the most difficult part because i don’t want to make the wrong choice.when we married we both were believers and we
    Strayed from God. I found my way back to God and my faith but he refuses to do the same. He is a very bitter and angry man. Although I’m hurting, i pray for him too. Please pray for us. Thank you

  38. Please pray for me and my ex husband. I’ve dated. It’s been two years. No one compares. I love him like God made him for me. I thank god every day for him. I’m trying to keep my life pure, ever renewing. Faithful & expectant of him to be back like we talked before. I pray he hits his rock bottom. He’s litterally down the street in the same duplexes. I love him dearly. There’s too much to explain. Please pray for us. Anyone out there. Anyone ever reading this, just once. I love him, I don’t “need” him. But my heart needs him. Please. Help, Dear God please let him start to warm back up. In Jesus’s name.

  39. Dear heart, look to Jesus only. I have felt these same feelings. I only over came them because I cast all of my cares on Christ Jesus. Jesus cares more for you and your husband more than you know. Read Deuteronomy 28. It is my prayer that you trust Christ for the restoration and future of your family. I will stand with you for Gods best.

  40. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We have a 19 month old. A month ago I had a miscarriage and 6 days later he had an affair. I found out a week later and he left to be with her. I want to fight for my marriage. We were a great couple and everyone is shocked by his actions. He says we will never get back together. He is not acting like himself at all. I am praying that God brings him back to us and we can restore our marriage. This has helped me tremendously reading this. I am glad I am not alone.

    • I’ve been physically separated since last March, when my wife of 28 years left wit bout youngest son. In short, I was out of work, depressed and sought comfort in an emotional affair with a friends of ours. My wife discovered it after three months and we spent the three years with her trying to connect and me withdrawing from her. She’d finally had enough and just served me d-papers last Saturday. I’ve been seeking God and making changes but she says it too late. I’m still standing fir my covenant marriage and ask that you check Rejoice Marriage Ministries and Covenant Keepers!

  41. What a inspiring, I need to hear this. I am praying for restoration, reconciliation, and reunited in my marriage. I have been divorce for a couple of months now. But I want give up on my Saviour because I know with out of a shadow of a doubt. Or marriage will be Reunited in Jesus name Amen

  42. I appreciate your testimony. I am trying to Stand for my marriage after divorce. Please pray for my exhusband Chris salvation and God will reopen the lines of communication through phone and in person. That he will want to go on dates and church. That God will remove the other woman that brought are marriage asunder and give them husbands. That God bring my exhusband christian friends and remove the unhealthy relationships of men and women from hus life. To as often his heart and increase my faith to believe in the miracle of salvation and marriage restoration in the name of Jesus Christ Amen

  43. I too have been on my knees for 6 months for my wife after she left unexpectedly last spring. We have met and I confessed and I was repentant about anything I’ve done wrong in our marriage and I’ve asked her for a SECOND CHANCE. Our pastor is involved and he says she has a “rebellious spirit” even as a Christian. I just pray each and every day and txt her every so often that I praying for us and I love and care for her.
    This could be a long time- most of our friends say I have biblical grounds for divorce as I was abandoned for 60 days and had no idea where she was at with no contact until she moved out and bought another home. She still wears my ring- as I do
    Its very lonely as we seniors and no children at home.
    I will stand in the gap for my covenant- God knows my heart

  44. i felt that way for a long time too til things got so we cldnt live with him. I want his salvation but I do not know if I could share the same roof. I pray each day for him to know Christ and stop blaming others for his problems, especially me. The last breakup was dramatic and traumatic

  45. When I married Ithought my husband was a believer. We went to church he praised God. The relationship was rocky we stopped going to church. During the year and a half of marriage my husband increasingly showed a different side, full of lies, hiding things triangulation, drama and violence. We separated. Hecompletely abandonded me with no contact informationat all. The very next day, talking to a friend, and then by doing the research that he fit the profile of a Narcassist. It has been the worst experience of my life. But God has been good to me and has used it to show me I am always His beloved daughter. I believe whole heartedly that he is not saved, demonstrated by his actions. His master is the father of lies, distortions and chaos. All things God despises.

    As a Christian I belive it is my duty and privledge to pray for his salvation. For the first time I truly see a person that is heading to hell. Idon’t want anyone to be devoid of Our Fathers grace. And I know with full confidence if it is in our Lords will it can be done. My question is the marriage, I have been struggling should I pray for my marriage or let it go?

  46. Wow whoever thought I’ll be looking up the thought of God restoring our marriages. I am 100% sure God wants to and His will is to restore marriages. The story of Hosea and Gomer comes to mind. The most powerful thing God tells Hosea was to go and look for your wife and “love her again”. I believe God is showing the same thing in my case. Go and love your wife again! I’m able to love my wife regardless of my feelings and all that I have to go through because the love of God has filled my heart. It’s going on 3 weeks and I’m praying for my “Prodigal Wife” to come back home. Thanks for every testimony of God doing what He does best and that’s making a way where there seems to be no way. God gets all the glory.

  47. I am bewildered by my recent divorce. I believed myself to be in a Godly, committed relationship that began when we were 18 and lasted for almost 25 years. We were the best of friends that communicated and prayed together. I would say that I was a stronger beliver or growing in my faith more than he. My family and his often celebrated and wished that they had the loving relationship we had and then after having gastric bypass surgery for weight loss he became a vicious person who abandoned his family and now will marry someone else next month. The desires of my heart have always been reconciliation however he has distanced himself further away from everyone. I want God’s best and I really don’t know what that is. I know that it is not his infinite will but permissive will. But God is not going to force him to love and obey God or love me. I am so hurt and want my family back.

  48. I am praying for marriage restoration after divorce. It has made me develop a greater and deeper relationship with God. If not for the divorce I wouldn’t have that. I love my husband very much and have come to accept him for who he is. I don’t care about his little nuances or quirks what I feel now is that it’s him I want to spend my life with. It’s been two yrs but my spirit says stay steadfast, I have no desire for any other man. I’m trusting in god to reconcile my 16 yr relationship with my husband. I moved to the state he lives in, his hometown. I have adult children here, lived here before and didn’t like it here. This is different, I’m praying g for my husband to come back to me and I was too far away to make it possible. So I moved back here. I’m praying daily for him and restoration. I’ve become a new person and rely on God and His Word. I can have the deepest desire of my heart, and that’s to reconcile and remarry my husband.

  49. I did not have a choice. He failed for divorce and refused to talk to me. Every time I tried to speak to him, he called the police on me and even five Domestic Violence Injunction though I never touched him– during and after he left telling me about the four year relationship with another woman. I want God to restore marriage but my spouse has free will. What can I do? I had to hire an attorney to respond to divorce or lose what little I will get because I am employed. God please stop divorce and rekindle love and restore marriage.

  50. I am confused, hurt and fearful that my marriage is over. I pray that God gives me the strength to be prepared for the future but I pray that He restores my marriage. I found that my husband was being unfaithful the weekend before Thanksgiving. I forgave him and gave him another chance. However, the other woman gave him an ultimatum to leave me and our toddler so they could be together and he did. He moved in with her two weeks before Christmas. I was devastated and I could not believe their selfishness in doing this during the holidays but then, I remembered how Satan only cares to destroy our faith and our livelihood. I would not let my husband, his mistress or Satan keep me down. I prayed for strength and God gave it to me. The rest of my family and I had a lovely Christmas full of joy and love. We did not allow any negative feelings in our celebration. But now, I see that my husband and his mistress truly believe that they are in love and that they are meant to be together. My husband is almost unrecognizable to me and to his family. He carries a look in his eyes that I can only associate it with sin and the evil spirit that is guiding him. I pray everyday that in the name of Jesus, I rebuke that evil spirit and that my husband sees his wrongdoing, asks God for forgiveness and that he returns home with God in his heart. I will continue to pray even though the circumstances are leading us towards divorce. I put my marriage on God’s hands and that I may receive a miracle. Amen

    • I really don’t even know where to begin to even help you. my story is similar to yours my husband has been saying since July that he doesn’t want me we planned this pregnancy I’m 8 months pregnant at this time and he’s been out of the house since September 23rd after he hit my two year old son and spit in my face then 4 months later of being out of the house he filed for divorce to prove to this woman he’s done with me. and also filed visitation rights for my 2 year old and a child that’s not even born yet, I am also in pain I am also believing that God will restore my marriage even though it sounds crazy to want a man that has been verbally, mentally and physically abusive to me the last year and a half but not only is God bigger than divorce God is bigger than the spiritual flaws that have manifest themselves through our husbands almost mentally I’ll be praying for you and please pray for me I’ve received some prayers too bind the spirits of lust and pornography masturbation all those things that our husband seem to tap into before they actually start to have these open affairs I’ve even reached out to the woman and told her that I’m pregnant and my husband and I have been married for 3 years and the best piece of advice she gives me is to take care of my children because my husband no longer wants me it’s hurtful because in October was our anniversary November was Thanksgiving December was Christmas in January New Years and there was no husband here for me and my children but God Almighty told me he would be my husband that I would not have to be ashamed I know it hurts but if we keep our eyes focused on God he will come to give us the spirit of peace joy and forgiveness for these wayward spouses

      • You and your family will be in my prayers tonight. My wife filed for divorce in Aug. We have 3 small children ages 2,5,7. Our lawyers are in negotiation. Please keep my wife and I in prayer. My name is Tony and her Kendra. I’ve struggled with different things too. Lust,anger ect. Please keep us in prayer,I’ll do the same

      • I’ll be praying for you tonight Tony and for Kendra, the enemy is really out to destroy marriages and keep our seeds from having two loving parents.

  51. Hey, is good I inform all the men and guys out there that sometime we all make mistake in our relationship and made our relationship to be broken and is also our responsibility to make it work by seeking for solution to it, I’m very happy today to tell you little of my relationship problem, i cheated once on my wife and she caught me and she was ready to end our marriage because i truly love her i quickly seek for solution to stop her that is when i came across Dr ekpen temple who has help so many people restore their broken marriage and relationship i also contact him today my marriage is restored, I’m going to drop his contact so that does having the same issues can contact him for solution on (ekpentemple @ gmail. com).

  52. This is a great post for me to keep looking ahead to the prize. My husband and I had been roommates for about 5 years when God started to soften my heart to him again. I read tons of books on how to be a Godly wife and was putting it all into practice when I found some texts on his phone from a female “friend” at work. It shattered me! Although he still insists that it is nothing more than a friendship…I struggle with it. I still feel that he was going down a road to leaving me…looking for something else. Through tons of prayer I believe that God called him back by his faith. But it still hurts incredibly bad that he would entertain the idea. I am so grateful that God has answered my prayers but I still struggle with giving forgiveness like this story describes.

  53. Tonya, thanks for sharing your story!! I love the part where you mention that the prodigal knows in his heart to turn home. That was such a good encouragement for me in waiting for my husband. I am challenged by your question about what God is asking of me. I felt that was God using you to speak directly to me! I want to wait in expectation and know that God can bring him home at any time, and will continue to pray for my husband’s heart and for restoration in my marriage! Thank you for being brave and also bold enough to write these things, especially in a world where many people are so quick to give up on marriage!

    “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24 NIV

  54. Wow this post really speaks to me and I am likevthe father in this marriage my husband is the son that went astray I pray for myself my marriage and my husband all the time I even pray for other marriages I thank you for this post and I thank god for leading me to this post because this post gives me even more hope

  55. Today i have been struggling with just throwing in the towel and today was no other day.out of the ordinary. My prodigal has been gone 4years now and every day he still tells me he loves and miss me. But your post came across mh news feed and and j knew I needed to click on it. I feel God always speaks when j am at my weakest, so thank you for being God’s word for me today.

    • Hold to Gods unchanging hand. Keep seeking his face more and more daily seek for Gods direction for your next step. God will never leave you nor will he forsake you. God will show himself faithful in your marriage.

  56. My husband wants a divorce and we got married last year May and I joined him in November after I got the visa, from the day I joined him he was distancing himself and then he together with his parents started abusing me.I returned back to my home country as I lived in fear. He hasn’t spoken to me since I returned to my country, sent emails via his lawyers stating he wants the divorce.no reconciliation and our marriage was a mistake. Please pray that he will turn to God and not listen to his parents who are misguiding him. Want to save our marriage and still love him. Please need God hand to reunite if its God will.

  57. Tonya, crazy that I randomly came across this just looking for some inspiration. Thank you for all your writing because it has truly again lifted my spirits in trusting God and what I feel he has been telling me to stay focused on Him and have faith that He will heal Steph and I’s marriage. Waiting and continually laying it all at His feet has not been easy as I’m not overly patient but I have an amazing trust, and since everything has happened a new and amazing relationship with Christ I’ve never had before! I trust that He will heal both our hearts and give us abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine. Thank you for your words I continually hope, pray and trust that our story and marriage will come full circle and we will be able to share it just as you do!

  58. PLEASE pray that TANAEA MY QUEEN FROM GOD HIMSELF return to me today in Jesus name PLEASE I need our family right now and we are homeless in minneapolis Minnesota and the pressure is causing her to go astray

    • Please pray for me and my husband. He left me when I was 37 weeks pregnant and move in with a sexier woman ( as he told me). He was around when I went to labour and he sees our 2 boys every weekend for 2hrs. I trust in God and I know he will restore my marriage we been married for 7 years and this came as shock to me. I’m heart broken but I’m staying strong for our children.
      He changed to be an ugly hearted person and I think he is enjoying his honeymoon with his mistress. He has been a lot of lies to his mom about me and I guess she hates me now. I love him and I pray for him to come home.

      • Sometimes there is no other alternative when you have leaned on God & have done everything you can do to try to save your marriage. I was abandoned for another woman after being married 27 years. I raised our now grown sons in Church. I reached out for every kind of counsel I could & tried everything to save my marriage to no avail. I finally filed for divorce.

  59. I have to say I always believed no way would we divorce. We have been married 30 years, but have lived apart for the most part the last 2. There has been addiction, emotional infidelity, completely turning away from me for the love of a business decision and a friend who he values beyond and above the marriage relationship. (bromance to the extreme), put me in an unhealthy living situation where I had to leave in order to care for myself. Life was chaotic and beyond stressful for a very long time. My grown children don’t like the idea that we are headed for divorce, but my husband who claims to be a believer, has not behaved like it in years and I am exhausted being alone in my marriage and not being valued at all, they are proud of me for finally doing what I need to do to take care of myself. No one likes divorce for sure, that being said, I also don’t see myself waiting indefinitely for someone to love me and show that love. I am at a place in my life where I desire to be loved. Yes of course God loves me and I am working on knowing I am cherished by Him, however a loving husband is important to me at least. I am praying for a miracle for my husband to do a 180 turn and desire counseling, a desire to place me first and give up addictions and other people and things that he has placed above me for years, however there is only so long I can wait to be lonely, before it is time to move on. I will always pray for him to turn back to become the man God designed him to be, and if he does then his relationship with his children may be restored, but for us to begin a new relationship in marriage, the old one is dead, may or may not happen. I have wrestled with this for a very long time, prayed, counsel and I have peace that passes understanding, which to me is a miracle.

  60. Not a marriage but praying for my daughter to come back to God the loving Father. She called and said I have moved from that wild city and now seeking a real job and be a good mom. God is moving we are going to have that party so….keep loving like Christ. That’s for this lesson of unconditional love reminder.

  61. This is always close to my heart and very important to me. I have been married almost 20yrs to my beautiful wife. Around 12 yrs infidelity would rock our marriage I was devestated I was so humiliated and broken a complete mess. I went to god and cried out and he put this message on my heart and i told her and gave her space . We reconciled this matter I thought but I stayed bitter over the years and eventually began a emotional affair that really hurt my wife and kids. I was sure this was it. I had built walls up all around my heart for this day. But what my wife did was show me grace and love and forgiveness and patience. I was going to abandon my family and i remembered the day i stood in church crying like a baby and god telling me you cant divorce. I ended the 8 month affair and my wife and I are learning what love and marriage is all about and that Gods plans are not ours. And sometimes one good choice can change your life. My wife loved me when i was unlovable and helped me back to God when I couldn’t by praying for me. Thankyou for your message

  62. Just 4 days okay, as I was getting my son ready to leave for college,my husband greeted me a the door telling me he was leaving me. After 20 years of marriage, he was done. Our marriage from the beginning was always rocky and even sometimes very very sick. I harbored resentment toward him through the years because I was raising our 2 kids, taking care of the house and I felt he did nothing. I was mom, dad, nurse, etc. all by myself. Eventually we ended up not even sleeping in the same bed at night, the last few years sleeping apart. The marriage became empty but we did nothing to fill it up. Life happened, kids grew up and here we are. He said he has felt disrespected, unloved, and he is now dead inside from me. Although he loves me he knows now that I am not the right one for him. He is leaving in 2 days, found a place, to find himself again. To be free and out from under my thumb. I am numb. Especially since these last few months have been pretty good and we were reconnecting and being intimate again. My husband said even though the last few months have been , as he put it, ok, he still felt empty being with me and being intimate with me, and he knew it was truly over then. I have asked the lord to forgive me for not being a godly wife . I am ashamed as I look back over the years to how I held on to anger/resentment and allowed Satan to destroy our marriage. Unfortunately my husband’s sister , family, friends all support him , have told him to leave move on. He is not connected to the Lord and these are the voices he hears. I am praying for God to fill his heart and that it is God’s voice he hears and not the voice of others and their influence. I pray for restoration of my marriage, yet I feel hopeless. Please pray for my husband to return and let go of the past in our marriage. Please help him to fill his heart with God’s words . I will continue to pray , and hope in the Lord for a miracle here with my marriage.

  63. What about a spouse who has left, remarried and had children by his second wife? I have stayed focused on God and not remarried. I have continued to study everyrhing I can about God and Christ and the Holy Spirit. I attend services regularly, belong to a small group and a Christian book study. I am a prayer warrior and working at getting better. My ex- husband asked for tbe divorce and I asked him to attend counseling. Ubfortunately I didn’t know about Christian counselors then. He came to one session and then left. I wish I knew then what I know now but I can’t change the past. I would like companionship now, how should I approach this?

    • Go to the Lord in prayer, you will know when He speaks and gives you the peace to move on. In the end, you are only responsible for YOUR actions, not your Ex husbands. Make sure all you do is with honor, integrity, purity and by the Bible. Make sure you are SO full of Him, that a man has to seek Him to find YOU!

  64. Jesus called men to love their wives. After being raped and abused many, many times I am finally walking away. He is coming after me, I had to get a protection from abuse order. He put me on the highway, took my children, and said “enjoy walking”. Then returns them the next day. Once he said he would shoot each child, me, and then himself.

    I forgive him. but He sees nothing wrong with his actions, he apologises privately, and calls me crazy publicly. Because I found shelter in a home with an adult male and female, he is screaming adultery. Telling everyone how innocent he is, how crazy I am, hiring lawyers instead of paying me anything in child support.

    So no, this “marriage” will not reconcile. I haven’t filled for divorce, but I do know that on our wedding day “God” was not directly mentioned in our vows. I was so nervous I didn’t say anything.

    I repent. I was diagnosed with a terminal illness years ago and God healed me, he wants me here, but domestic violence is real. I can’t tell you how many times I was going to leave and got the ” I am the head of this household lecture”, to be followed with abuse.

    I ALWAYS said I DON’T BELIEVE IN DIVORCE, but even Jesus showed that harlot who went through several husbands love, and I think we should too!

    Divorce hurts, but domestic violence KILLS. My sister is DEAD today because the man she loved shot her.

    Sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for is the one holding the gun. God Bless you ladies.

  65. Thank you so much for this confirmation. I know GOD used you to Bless me. Thand you so much. I am watching and waiting and I will have my story for you soon so I can Bless someone else. Gwen

  66. I am still believing in marriage restoration after my divorce I luv my husband but I know the enemy has a hold of him .

  67. I really needed this tonight 😦 it’s true the whole world is telling me I’m nuts give up and move on. My husband left 4 years ago and has cheated . I will make no excuses for his behavior it pains me dearly and even tonight I cry and cry til I can’t stop. I haven’t heard from him since this morning he became angry with me because I asked him to come in give me a hug , I was hung up on , cursed and I still sent him to kind messages !!! I need a miracle even with all he has done I do love my husband and need prayer , lots of prayers please

    • I feel your pain and I will pray for you and for the restoration of your marriage God joined you together for a reason and too many people just give up and move on that was not the purpose of marriage God bless you

      • I was the one who kept running away I had a lot of baggage and didn’t know how to communicate I’ve signed the papers because they filed I felt I couldn’t make them stay or try anymore and now I’m left very sad and lonely I’ve been going to church and talking a lot with God and praying for restoration forgiveness and a healthy relationship I can relate to all of your stories God bless to all of you

  68. Divorce wasn’t an option for my wife & I even though we struggled in our marriage….that is until she started hanging out with friends who spoke the “worldly” advice of divorce,and then she filed and left me. Now after 21 years together, 19 married, I pray without constantly that she hears the Holy Spirit and returns to me and we do whatever is necessary to make our relationship work. My 18 year old son refuses to talk to her and I miss her badly. I pray for peace and comfort, but the heartache is great. I pray for a chance to show her that we can be happy together and there is no reason to quit on a marriage, even though she says God can’t fix it. I continue to pray without ceasing.

  69. hello my name is kevin and im 24 years old. my wife is 22 and she wants a divorce i dont understand why this happening but ever since she left the house i been turned by god. he has opened my eyes to what i did and i asked for forgiveness and i also pray for my marriage to be restored for i dont want a divorce because i always tought that my first marriage was going to be my only one. i read everything and i have hopes that she may return and i ask if everyone can pray for us since i still love my wife.

  70. i deeply love my husband,he left to leave with another woman 4 months into the divorce,we don’t have our divorce decree yet,it hurts so much,same as we have hurt each other, i have ask God for for forgiveness, and restoration of our marriage, and for my husband salvation and softened of heart,do we signed at the finalize divorce papers to mean that we are divorce, i don’t want to sign.

  71. To the writer of this story I am a man who just got devorce this year 19 years marriage and a total of 21 years to gether I have three kids one girls a senior one boy a sophomore and a mother girl that’s a seven grader me and our kids would like to get back together with there mom but I guess it’s not going to happen soon but I am a believer in the son of God name Jesus’s and God the father too I believe that he will save and renew my marriage this story is very true to me and when I got down to the part of were the new wedding ring was much to my surprise the name in this story was my name it just reAly makes me be a bigger believer in our God the father I loved this story just as God loves me and all of you he will make this happen for me and our kids God is reAl

  72. My husband devourced me i was devastated when he did that, When we went before the Judge ,he was ordered to leave the matrimonial home ,He refused to go, at times i feel ok he is there as he helps with the bills, as the Court ordered,But I’m not comfortable with him there, i still cook for him, and wash when i get ready, but at times i really want him to just go I don’t respect him anymore, for i think he’s not man enough to move on the transfer of the title is still pending, and as soon as that is done and the house is in my name I’m going back to the courts to get him out!

  73. I just want to add that just because you are legally divorced by the standards of this society does not mean that you are divorced in the eyes of the Lord. These papers are just that…papers. The Lord has the final say so and trust me you will know when it is time – The Lord will deliver you, it will be nothing done of your own. Do not be dismayed that on paper or in some system you are divorced because in truth you are not at all divorced by the Lord’s standards. Listen for that small still voice. Don’t let the enemy deceive you or convince you to give up. Stand strong to the Lords promises. He is faithful and does not lie. He will never lead you wrong. Keep praying to the Lord for guidance. I know it hurts. I have spent this entire year in a world of hurt, an emotional roller coaster, while my S.O enjoys another woman and less and less time with me, his daughter, and our new born son. Did my tears stop anything… no. Oh Satan turned up the heat for the Holidays, we are now worse than ever in a matter of a day. But I’ve reached my point of total dependency on the Lord so praise him the mess coming from my S.O did not phase me because I know who I am in the Lord. No one/thing can take the Lords love away from me. It will work out in the end. Hold your tongue and let the Lord be your defense. Be not afraid of the outcome of the Lords will. He has an expected end in store for you.

    • Thank you I needed to hear that because no matter what I do to try to move on I can’t because in my heart I feel he’s coming back even though he married her I know he isn’t happy and still contacts me.

  74. For all in this blog, I’ve heard many of you say “divorce is not an option.” My wife also proclaimed this from the mountaintops at the beginning of our marriage 6 years ago. She filed for divorce 2 weeks ago stating “irreconcilable differences” as the reason – no adultery, no abuse, just not being able to resolve conflict. I spent the last year killing my pride, making amends to her for my shortcomings, loving our son, and trying to care for her needs. Yet it took one disagreement for her to move out with my son and file for divorce. I am fighting for our marriage in prayer, but my option not to sign papers does not exist since a judge can order the divorce.
    Saying “divorce is not an option” is the same thing as saying “sin is not an option” which is woefully untrue. It almost sets you up for failure, which interestingly enough, is what I thought when my wife said it years ago. Instead, I challenge everyone here to die to self as the bible commands us to. It is the only way a marriage survives. I commend Tonya for doing just that. For her, it wasn’t her saying divorce is not an option, but instead it was her realizing her need for a savior and thus showing that same grace to her husband when he needed it most. Your story is unbelievable, and it has blessed me greatly during my hard time.

    • My husband walked out on me after 27 years for another woman. I didn’t want the divorce but I gave it to him. I fought for my marriage as long as I could but sometimes you got to let them go so that the can see what they thought they wanted and realize it wasn’t what they wanted at all. I’m still praying and asking God to bring us back together. Sometimes the fear of failure and guilt keeps them from coming back but it you take a good look at yourself and work on the things you know you done wrong and trust God to work on them and wait patiently. God will come through if it is meant to be. I realized alot of my mistakes I made and striving to not be that person anymore. Work on commication between the both of you and own up to your mistakes to her and show her you have changed without the pressure of trying to make her come back. Actions speak louder then words.

  75. I believed this and stood for my husband”s heart to return to me. He left and returned twice, with the name of another woman tattooed on his back. I wanted him back. But not only that I wanted him to really choose me, to love me. He ultimately divorced me 3 years ago and within 2 months was with 3 other women. I stood for so long. It hurt so bad to have a shattered marriage. We had 4 children over those 10 years of prodigal and returning home. I have since “remarried” though now because of such restoration mindset and my forever love of my first husband, this marriage does not feel right, I don’t even like to say marriage. What do I do? I have 4 young children and I need help to raise them. My first husband left us with nothing, my parents held the burden. I so much wish that my marriage was restored ad I kept claiming it to be each time. I’m in constant agony.

    • I feel like in the end, if your prodigal continues to turn away and go back to the world in which he left you for, then the true repentance and remorse was never there to allow for restoration.
      If you have joined with another in the meantime, then give him your whole heart and your best. He deserves it, as do you.

  76. My spouse is divorcing me I do not want this I asked God to bring us back together and heal the problems I know I was full of anger and did not know how to communicate I was carrying baggage from the past I’ve been going to church and developing a relationship with God I asked for his forgiveness and for all of your prayers that this can be turned around I thank you and God bless

  77. Hello Tanya,
    I was praying for a sign from the Lord if I should still be standing for my marriage since my divorce that happened in 2012. Then the Lord had me see your post by accident this evening. I need prayers for my exhusband Chris to be saved and for his heart to soften.
    Your post brought me to tears.

    God Bless,

    Christine

    • My husband just left us this Christmas today is 3 months. He is moving forward with a divorce and I am fighting on my knees. I know he is a good man. BUT right now he is not the man I married he is a stranger. He is offering everything I want every condition i give him just to leave our marriage. 19 years and he is saying now that he never loved me. He hasnt been in church for a year now but says he still believes in God but he has to do what makes HIM happy now! Help me pray….I know 3 months isnt long but I am getting tired.

  78. please pray for my husband T to come back to Jesus, currently he is overseas left this morning….thank you! And for restoration of our marriage.

  79. I welcomed my husband back but the pain was so so deep. I could not trust fully again. I am glad that others have had success. I feel I failed.

  80. Im grateful for your prayers its been almost a year now n i still miss her very much i try to drink the pain away but thr love i have for tanaea wright is just to strong ll give anything to have her back loyal n faithful in dying inside every day i cant live without her i need her im going through a custody battle for my sons by another woman whose husband abuses my kids u feel like im helpless n worthless at times i pray daily just hoping god hears me and answers me just once i beg the lord God to just PLEASE bring my wify back

  81. Please pray for my family and I. My husband Howard and I have been married for 36 years. We have always loved each other and been a couple others have looked up to. Sure we have made our mistakes, but we have always been a team. This past Christmas I found out my husband was having an affair with a younger woman 25 years younger than him. She is the total opposite of me and everything he has never liked. He has been stressed with work and money issues for the last year, but we were fine. This came as a shock to me, our two grown daughters and everyone else. He said he never thought this would ever have happened.
    He has been living with her since Christmas. I have been in complete agony since then. He wants me to be happy, but I cannot be until he comes home to me. I love him beyond life. It has really hurt our daughters too and we have four very young grandchildren who don’t see grandad very often. I
    I gave myself over to God and pray daily for him to bring Howard home to me and restore our marriage. God is awesome and I know he will work his miracle. Please pray for us that it will happen soon. Love and strength to everyone.

    • I will pray for you, and for God to restore his heart to him. For that is the only way he will be led back to his family. I do believe God works miracles. I understand your pain God bless you

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